Friday, August 19, 2011

Cy-Hawk Fail (Epic, Epic Fail)

The new Cy-Hawk Trophy has been revealed and kids, it's worse than we thought. It's this- a sculpting of a family talking together after a long day of work- a tribute to the citizens of Iowa.

It's a nice sentiment, I suppose- but I wonder who's coming home from work? Dad I'm guessing. And Mom will be waiting with their 2.5 children to greet them at the door and then they'll laugh and laugh and talk and talk and then sit down to a ridiculously large home cooked meal and it won't be until after Bobby and Janey are safely in bed that Dad will look around and wonder how he ended up in a bad episode of 'The Donna Reed Show.'

What does a nauseating Norman Rockwell ripoff have to do with Iowa? I think Iowa and I think corn, dammit. I don't think cliched Americana represents Iowa all that well and as a citizen of this state, I'm not feeling the love at all. Why can't anyone make a decent trophy anymore? Why does they always suck? Trophies should be iconic- a pitchfork for Iowa-Nebraska instead of this silly-ass Heroes Game nonsense. A bronzed ear of corn for Iowa-Iowa State instead of this ridiculously staged acid trip to Pleasantville. Maybe The Quiet Man is right- maybe trophies should happen organically, overtime- and not be auctioned off to the best contributer.

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