Less Than A Week...

...until our long, national nightmare is finally over. And the damn political junk mail and television ads will come to an END.

So what's going to happen? I haven't a clue. I find it suspect that Conservatives spend all summer bellowing about how inaccurate the polls are because they're basing their statistical models of 2008 voter turnout are now crowing and popping champagne over good news in the numbers for Mittens.

The Obama Campaign is also big on their early voting ground game. I trust that about as much as I trust polls at this point.

Some food for thought though:

-Undecideds if there are any left to break late historically have broken for the challenger.

-Incumbents polling under 50% are in deep shit.

Conservatives are swooning over new numbers that have Romney within single digits in Oregon and within the margin of error in Minnesota. I doubt either flips to Romney but the Obama Campaign is worried enough to spend money in Minnesota (ostensibly to reach voters in NW Wisconsin- but that's not where the votes are in WI) and recent Romney ad buys in Pennsylvania have the Democrats moving money to respond. And money they have to spend in Pennsylvania and Minnesota is money they're not spending in Ohio- which given how small the margin of error is in this election could make the difference. So Mittens is playing it smart at the very least.

Some things to ponder for Election Night: if Mittens peels away an electoral vote from Maine or takes New Hampshire that doesn't bode well for the President and we can start thinking about Preference Cascade scenarios dreamed about by the Great Guru Instapundit and Father Cigar amongst other people. If the President holds both then it's anybody's guess what happens.

We'll see in less than a week.

Hurricane Sandy Aftermath

First of all, if you're looking to help out, here's a link to the Red Cross and I know Catholic Charities has an excellent reputation as well with disaster relief at the like. If there are any more good suggestions of places to help out, please leave them in the comments. (I know I occupy like a tiny corner of the wide, crazy world of the Internet but on the off chance people read this, I'm all for paying some good Karma forward for folks out East. They could use it today.)

Second of all: I followed a lot of the reports from New York City last night and this was bad- as this morning is only proving as people start to take stock of the destruction. Weather Nerd has been getting amazing info out there as the storm and its aftermath progresses, Atlantic Wire has some pictures of the devastation and a Live Wire worth following for updates.

Third of all: The big ugly thing that people are dancing around- the Election. As Governor Christie so eloquently put it today:

“I don’t give a damn about Election Day. It doesn’t matter a lick to me at the moment. I’ve got bigger fish to fry,” a solemn Christie told reporters during a morning briefing in which he outlined the damage from Sandy.

I'm sure that's the attitude of everyone dealing with the aftermath of this horrible storm today which is 100% understandable. Nobody wants to talk politics after something like this- but people are wondering. Slate has some potential answers. (Seems to be something up to the state/local level more than anything else. Keep an eye on things as we get closer to Election Day.)

Personally, I think it's too soon to tell how this is going to shake out. It's an opportunity for President Obama to look Presidential and demonstrate competence in dealing with this (so far, so good- disaster declarations for New York and New Jersey are already signed, I believe) and Mittens has to be careful with his sudden influx of 'Disaster Relief' stops otherwise he'll get tagged for politicizing the tragedy which is not something you want a week out from Election Day.

Had Sandy hit Delaware and Eastern PA more than New York and New Jersey, there might be some real electoral implications to consider as anything that effects turnout in PA (with either heavy damage in Philly or lots of snow/flooding in Western PA) could swing it one way or the other- but Virginia bears some watching. I doubt either New York or New Jersey were in any danger of becoming swing states (New Jersey numbers I found on RealClearPolitics last night had Obama up 10) but anything that depresses turnout could throw New Jersey wide open. It's just too soon to tell.

We'll have to see what develops over the next couple of days but my gut feeling is that this is going to act as a pause button for the race more than anything else. Barring some as yet undemonstrated act of gross incompetence on the part of the Obama Administration or Mittens being unbelievably callous and going back into full-tilt campaign mode before he should, I doubt there's much advantage to be gained for either side messing with this- and attempts to do so will undoubtedly backfire, very badly. Everybody should try and resist the temptation to win votes, roll up their sleeves and get to work. This Hurricane cold-cocked the East Coast last night- now is not the time for politics.

And finally: Ice T's wife Coco has weighed in. Just thought everybody should know that. :-)

Rock of Ages-- A Review

Finally sat down with the Missus and the, well now ex-Roomie last night and watched Rock of Ages. And after two hours and three minutes it still felt curiously incomplete for some reason. Don't get me wrong: I knew all the music and while I was probably too young to be a true devotee of 80s Hair Metal, it's a hard rockin' good time and I can appreciate that. But as a movie, I'm not entirely sure this worked.

Random tangent time: when I was in college a bunch of us got snuck into the Dukes of Hazzard armed with Pepsis that were more vodka than Pepsi and got pretty wasted in the theater. That movie, which I have yet to see sober was awesome. The Missus noted (and I agreed) that Rock of Ages would work a lot better if you were drunk and could sing along to all the songs.

Rock of Ages tells the story of Sherrie 'Sister' Christian (Julianne Hough) who's at the start of the moving is 'Motoring' her way to LA because she's a small town girl, living in a lonely world. Naturally, when she gets there she's immediately mugged (because that was Los Angeles in 1987, apparently.) And meets a city boy, Drew (Diego Boneta) who may or may not have been born and raised in South Detroit- who conveniently enough gets her a job, like you know, right away (it was 1987, man. The economy was slightly better... and because everyone who goes to LA looking for fame finds jobs RIGHT AWAY) at the legendary Bourbon Room, a rock n'roll club owned by Dennis (Alec Baldwin) and his right hand man Lonny (Russell Brand.)

The Bourbon Room is under threat from the uptight, Conservative, rock n'roll hating Mayor (Bryan Cranston) and his crusading wife Patricia (Catherine Zeta Jones going heavy on the craaaaaaazy eyes) and so Dennis turns to aging, washed up rocker Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) to play one final gig to save the club. Jaxx just doesn't care anymore, having broken up his band, Arsenal to go solo at the urging of his shady manager, Paul (Paul Giamatti) and when he meets a rock journalist Constance (Malin Ackerman) the two eventually fall in love.

There's some other random stuff too. Sherrie and Drew break up and Drew ends up in a boy band while Sherrie ends up working at a strip club run by Mary J. Blige (randomly) and Dennis and Lonny end up admitting their feelings for each other to the tune of REO Speedwagon's 'I Can't Fight This Feeling' (I wasn't sure whether to laugh hysterically or cry at this. Seriously bad.) In the end, it all works for the best. Rock n'roll doesn't die, blah, blah, blah.

I had some suspicions about this movie, namely that I thought the musical probably had more substance to it- and lo and behold, after a check of Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge) it turns out my suspicions were CORRECT! And if that's the case, then this movie does a piss-poor job with it's source material. At times, it feels like the writers just sat in a room and strung together every rock n'roll cliche they could think of until at the end they were struck by a weird case of liberal white panic and realized they had no African-Americans in the cast and made Mary J. Blige (a singer who rocks by the way- nothing against her at all) like the only African American in the cast and had her manage a strip club with all white dancers. WTF. That was almost, almost offensive to me... it's a gross misuse of Mary J. Blige's talents at the very least.

The best part about this movie: Tom Cruise. Seriously- its worth getting this from RedBox just to watch Tom Cruise. This might be his best role in years (which probably says something about the trajectory of his career) and if they had made a better movie he would have probably won some more kudos for it than he did. (Plus he sings. And he can actually sing, surprisingly enough.)

Overall: ** and a 1/2 out of **** Don't get me wrong- if you're having a karaoke party and want to get boozy and sing along, this is a fantastic movie. If you're looking for a good adaptation of the musical this isn't the movie for you and I think if celebrating the excesses of 80s Hair Metal was the goal, they could have done more than stringing two hours of clichés together. It's worth a RedBox rental and my apologies if you spent money to see this in the movie theater.

Curiosity Satisfied

You know that inspirational music that pops up attached to movie trailers, random sports related commercials and those super old public service announcements for the President's Council on Physical Fitness that Ah-nold starred in about fifteen years ago now? You know the one I'm talking about- it's currently being used by Dick's Sporting Goods in their latest commercial: 'UNTOUCHABLE.'*

Well, that got me to thinking: where the heck did this music come from?



Rudy. I should have guessed. (For the record, it's called 'Tryouts' by Jerry Goldsmith.)

*First comment under the YouTube of the Dick's Sporting Goods Commercial (at the link) states: "they could play this music showing me take a shit and it would still give you goosebumps" Truer words were never spoken.

Late Night Chronicles 89: An Open Letter To Hawkeye Nation

Dear Hawkeye Nation,

We need to talk. As a long time member I've been growing increasingly concerned about the state of your overall mental health and after last week's stomping at the hands of Penn State, things seems to be reaching a boiling point.

I'm not going to pretend that there aren't problems. Our offense needs help. Our quarterback is either a bust or in an epic slump. But our defense, while young has shown promise and despite two key injuries against Penn State the offensive line hasn't been woeful either. There's hope for the future. But as many of you have rightly pointed out, there's plenty of cause for concern as well.

We're at an interesting point in Coach Ferentz's tenure. He's been here long enough to reboot a couple of times leading the Hawkeyes to some truly magical seasons (2002, 2009) but it's also getting harder. The game is changing. The competition is adjusting. Coordinators have moved on. What's needed here isn't just your average reboot, it's reinvention. The truly great coaches (K-State's Bill Snyder would be the all-time example, I think we can all agree) can adjust, reboot and reinvent themselves all over again. And I think Coach Ferentz has the ability to do the same. I'm willing to give him a season or two to get his ducks in a row before turning the seat warmer up and so should everybody else. (There's also the tiny matter of his contract. If we join the mob with pitchforks, tar and feathers that seem to scream for his head after every loss, we'd be paying through the nose to get out of it. We're in a tough spot- but not a desperate one.)

So can we all calm the f--k down, please? We lost a lot of people last season and although Vandenburg's troubles seem to be deeper than just not having experienced receivers to throw too (we lost McNutt. That hurt.) This was always going to be a rebuilding/rebooting year. Success seems to have spoiled you, Hawkeye Nation. A taste of the big time with a couple of trips to the Orange Bowl and suddenly if we're not in contention to play for the big, crystal football and the response seems to be: 'FIRE THEM ALL!'

I grew up here. The first Iowa game I have a memory of watching was Iowa in the Rose Bowl in 1991. I remember when going to the Sun Bowl wasn't just a big deal, it was almost exciting. You think Vandenburg is a bad quarterback? I remember watching Matt Sherman play. And if you think Vandy is getting hate from fandom, Matt Sherman could probably tell him a thing or two. (I have a vivid memory of sitting in the south stands watching a game with my Dad while a drunken older fan- because they're always drunk and older bellowed obscenities as Sherman failed to be Joe Montana or Chuck Long for the umpteenth time.)

There's been a lot of great seasons and there's been a lot of not so great seasons but there's always been fans that come out, have a good time, enjoy some football and wear the Black and Gold with pride. We need to get back to more of that. It's probably the nature of sports to breed Monday morning quarterbacks but when pictures like this surface and when The Quiet Man (who went to the game last Saturday) tells me of an old, drunk fan (as per usual) booing and bellowing: "JOE PA IS ENJOYING THIS IN HELL! HOW DARE YOU HAWKEYES LET JOE PA ENJOY THIS IN HELL!" We've collectively lost our damn minds.

So for the rest of the season, I'm just going to take it one game at a time. We got Floyd of Rosedale back and if that's all I've got to hang my hat on at the end of the season then that's OK. (It'd be very nice to beat Northwestern too. Just sayin.*)

We're not entitled to success because we're not the ones actually doing the work. Our team works hard and sometimes it takes awhile to get back to your best. Sometimes it takes longer than a season. So when you drive around town and every once in awhile see those old school bumper stickers with a Tiger Hawk, a Rose and in big block letters: 'WE SHALL RETURN.' Remember that and calm the f--k down already.

This might not be our year. But we'll be back.

Black and Gold Forever!
Tom

*Correction: it WOULD have been nice to beat Northwestern. Alas, that didn't happen. Though it occurred to me: Northwestern, even when its having off years still manages to be that team that sneaks up on someone and bludgeons them in the back of the head when they're least expecting it. It'd be nice if Iowa could achieve that. Just sayin'

This Week In Vexillology #2

I'm digging into my own collection this week.

I'm still looking for a way to display them all but reaching into my random grab bag of vexillological fun, we come up with this weeks flag, appropriately enough starting with the letter A- for Angola! (Shout-out to the 1992 Dream Team. Angola was their first victim on their Road to Gold in Barcelona.)

The overall design of the flag is based on the party flag of the MPLA (Movimento Para O Libertação de Angola), which eventually came out on top of the long, bloody Angolan Civil War. The cog wheel and the machete are emblems of agriculture and of industry. The emblems are similar to the Soviet-style hammer and sickle. The flag was adopted on November 11th, 1975 for National and Civil usage.

For an interesting slide into 'what if,' here's the flag of UNITA (União Nacional Para A Independência Total De Angola) the other half of the Angolan Civil War:

Dug this description up from over here:

The flag of UNITA is a red over green over red tri-bar. On the green stripe is a 16-pointed rising sun (Angola had 16 provinces at independence; the subsequent creation of two more has not been recognized in the UNITA flag). Crowning the dawn is a black cockerel, placed to the left of the sun. The top red stripe stands for the revolution against Portugal, the bottom one for the 'second liberation struggle' - against the Cubans who back the ruling MPLA militarily. (Since the UNITA flag was used before 1975, this symbolism must have been added later). The green stands for hope, victory, and agriculture. The flag is popular amongst Angolan emigrés and was frequently seen in Lisbon during the 1992 Angolan election period.

If you're into learning about massive, bloody messes of the Cold War, Angola's Civil War was a doozy. South Africa, China, The Soviet Union and the United States all had fingers in the pie at various points along the way and Cuba staged a massive military intervention to support the MPLA in November of 1975 and maintained a military presence there until 2002.

Angola, take a bow. And until next time, kids- keep your flags flying: freak or otherwise!

St. Crispin's Day

To celebrate, taste the writer-y goodness:



For the record, they're about to fight the Battle of Agincourt, where the English gave the French a very pointed demonstration of just how effective their longbows could actually be- but leaving that aside, I'd always been curious just who the heck Saint Crispin was... well, apparently, he was a twin- who had a Saint (Crispinian) for a brother as well. They were martyred in the year 260 and are the patron Saints of cobblers, tanners and leather workers.

If you're looking for a more contemporary take on it, try this:



One of these days I'm going to have to dig up Renaissance Man and watch it again. I remember it being a pretty damn good movie. (For some reason I associate this movie with Operation Dumbo Drop. I couldn't begin to tell you why- except that Renaissance Man came out in 1994 and Operation Dumbo Drop came out in 1995. Maybe that's it.)

Not sure how best to celebrate the Feast Day though. Perhaps a crispy chicken sandwich?

Endorsements Round 2: National Races and Issues

Kids, I've decided to break up my endorsements into three rounds this year because I want to take my time on the BIG ONE (President) and I probably won't decide that until the very last minute (November) and go from there. This election seems big enough and given the commentary I read on Facebook after each and every debate, mind-blowingly, life-alteringly, apocalyptically important to people so I'll keep you waiting on the BIG ONE for a little longer.

Endorsements:
ME-Senate Angus King: An independent candidate? Running for Senate? In the great state of Maine where he was an independent Governor back in the 90s? Kids, this is a no brainer: YES PLEASE.

MN-01 Tim Walz: I was an intern for Congressman Walz in 2008 the same semester I was prepping for comps for my Master's and getting married. I was the worst intern ever. So the least I can do is give him a thumbs up. (Bonus: He helped push legislation banning members of Congress from insider trading.) (Double Bonus: He taught Social Studies at Mankato West High School before he ran for Congress- where I worked and where Gopher Freshman QB Phillip Nelson played his high school ball. I couldn't pick Nelson out of a lineup if I tried- which given the fact I was a Security Guard/Hall Monitor meant that he was way off my radar.)

MN-06 Jim Graves: Can this be the year we retire Michelle Bachmann? Pretty please? If we can retire Steve King AND Michelle Bachmann that'd be one hell of a sweet spot.

MN-Senate Amy Klobuchar: I knew a guy once who made a deal with one of his friends that if Bruce Springsteen and Rick Springfield ever toured together they'd quit school and go be roadies for them. If Senator Klobuchar ever runs for President (and needs a roadie) I'm totally there. Sane, sensible and generally awesome, if she ever wants to run for Governor for a term or two and does a good job (which I assume she would) it'd help her chances but a public servant as dedicated and competent as she is would stand a good chance with some name recognition and the right buzz.

MO-Senate Claire McCaskill: The 'legitimate rape' douchebag she's running against made me seriously consider giving money to her campaign. And if doing so wouldn't have increased my junk mail exponentially, I might have. Missouri, please don't send a man who believes that uteri have magical rape fighting abilities to the US Senate. Please prove to the other 49 states that you're not a horrible caricature of a Red State and don't bring national disgrace down upon this country by voting for such repellant views.

Senate: A little known fact of the campaign is that the Democrat-controlled Senate hasn't passed a budget in three years. So needless to say I'm not crazy about maintaining the status quo- I mean, are we paying 100 Senators to sit on their asses and gather dust? I don't think so. But if Mittens wins the election, I'm not crazy about the idea of handing the Republicans all the keys to the car either. To be honest I can't support the idea of one party being in control of Congress until Congress actually fulfills its Constitutional obligation to be a check on the Executive Branch. I don't see that happening anytime soon. So: either full divided Government or status quo- depends on which candidate wins the White House.

House: I think the status quo is even more likely to stay here unless there's something very wrong with the polls or the bottom falls out of the Republican Party in the next two weeks. The larger problem of extremists at either end of the political spectrum making it impossible to get things done is a task for another day. So: same thing as above... either full divided Government or the status quo.


Things to Keep An Eye On:
Marijuana Legalization: Washington, Oregon and Colorado are taking a run at this issue this time around. One of those times it's going to break through and open up a whole new can of worms but keep in mind that these things tend to go big in the polls and fall very flat in the voting booth. I'd be surprised if this is the year, though given the disaster that the Drug War has been success of one of these initiatives would change the conversation which could only be good.

Same Sex Marriage: Busy year for the forces of marriage equality as well! Minnesota, Maine and Maryland have ballot initiatives while Washington State has an initiative affirming their legislature's action legalizing same sex marriage. (Another initiative to overturn the decision and limit it to one man, one woman didn't make it to the ballot. Of this fearsome foursome, Minnesota will be the interesting one to watch. If the last weekend of the Minnesota State Fair is anything to judge by, the pro-marriage equality people looked well organized and enthusiastic. I think it'll be close in Minnesota but it could sneak through.

California: Proposition 30 is the big one to watch here- Governor Jerry Brown is asking for tax increases and if he doesn't get them, things could get a wee bit ugly in the Golden State, especially where education in concerned.

It's exactly two weeks until our long national nightmare comes to an end- one way or the other. I don't know about you, kids, but I'm ready for it. This one hasn't been nearly as enjoyable as it was the last time around.

Bookshot #54: Halting State

Charles Stross is climbing my personal rankings of authors I should read more of. Even as Rule 34 was entertaining and thought provoking, Halting State proves to be an equally fun and wild ride- and one that I almost preferred to it's sequel, Rule 34.

Halting State is once again set in Edinburgh in the not-to-distant future (this time it's 2018) and Sergeant Sue Smith of the Edinburgh Constabulary is called to the offices of Hayek and Associates, a new dot-com start up company where a robbery has just taken place. Only this robbery is unlike any robbery that Sergeant Smith has ever dealt with. The prime suspects in this robbery are orcs and instead of big guns, they brought a dragon along for fire power, for you see, the bank in question is in the virtual world of Avalon Four- and robbing a bank in Avalon Four was supposed to be impossible.

Hayek and Associates are scared: if word gets out, their company is going to crash and crash hard and as the case gets bigger and bigger and the boundaries between the virtual and real blur more and more, Sergeant Sue Smith finds out that there's much more to this case than just a simple bank robbery in a computer game and powerful people are watching, waiting to make their moves.

And yes, that's all the plot I'm going to give you kids because for the rest- you'll have to read the book!

Stross is on point with this novel and digs a little deeper into concepts surrounding LARPing and Multi-Player Online games/worlds (like 2nd Life or World of Warcraft) and how suspectiable they would be to manipulation. (In a minor spoiler, it turns out that various intelligence agencies are running some to build a human intelligence network on the cheap- a concept that I found fascinating because it makes perfect sense. If you're into LARPing, who wouldn't jump at a chance to play James Bond in real life?) And then there's the concept of virtual versus real and how those boundaries are starting to blur... (when news of disasters/weirdness in World of Warcraft makes it to the BBC News front page, you know this trend is going to continue...)

All of it makes for mind-bending, thought provoking science fiction, set in a world of the future that might prove eeriely prophetic if the EU can claw it's way back to fiscal sanity and Scotland decides it wants to be independent. Even from a law enforcement point of view, I don't think Stross is all that out of whack- though people in British law enforcement might disagree, the trend of integrating more and more technology into law enforcement is one that's accelerating industry wide. VR-type goggles that record everything to a central server (what the characters call COPSPACE) might seem a little 'Demolition Man' when read in the world of today, but when things like e-citations are starting to get popular here and there, it's not completely out of whack to imagine such technology emerging in the future- especially in the heavily CCTV'd and surveilled British Isles.

Overall: A wild and entertaining ride through early 21st Century Scotland. Stross seems to blend cyber-punkish concepts with old school cop-noir-mystery type of concepts with near perfection and plays with the raw edge of the possibilities of future technology with wild abandon. I say **** out of ****.

Carol Danvers Is My Home Girl

Every so often, when I have to go pick up the Missus from work, I drive along with Dick Gordon and The Story from American Public Media. And over the summer, I listed to a fascinating interview with Kelly Sue DeConnick who was rebooting and refreshing Captain Marvel in a new series for Marvel Comics and I got hooked- because she was finally bringing Ms. Marvel, the old feminist icon super hero of the 1970s into the 21st Century and making her the new Captain Marvel.

Kids, I'll be honest: I'm not really a comic book guy. I got hooked on the movies because X-Men started this whole superhero wave we're living in and I grew up in the early 90s, where the excellent animated series was a staple of my Saturday morning cartoons. Marvel's recent efforts have transcended paint by numbers love letters to fandom and actually been genuinely good movies so that helped as well- despite all that, I've always had a peripheral, vague knowledge of comics, thanks mainly to my brother who seemed to know every story line and would analyze every movie and know in great detail just exactly what it had gotten wrong and how it differed from the comics. So Ms. Marvel and her alter ego Carol Danvers, I had a passing familiarity with both of them.

And there's something incredibly refreshing about this character getting a shot at the big time again. Conceived, as I mentioned as a feminist superhero (hence the Ms. in Ms. Marvel) in the late 60s, early 70s it was all hunky dory for Ms. Marvel until she hit the 80s, where a controversial storyline where she is kidnapped and forcibly impregnated against her will, leading to angry backlash over what was called 'The Rape of Ms. Marvel.' She harbored some resentment towards The Avengers for not getting her out of that jam before she ended up being attacked by the (then evil) Rogue and being absorbed into her for awhile. (Which is where I first became aware of the character, as Rogue dealt with the guilt over what she had done.)

Soon separated out, she meandered through the Marvel Universe as a new hero, Binary before re-emerging as Ms. Marvel in the early 2000s and finally becoming Captain Marvel today. In short, Carol Danvers has had some shitty luck over the years, so it was nice to hear that she'd be taking the mantle of Captain Marvel- and DeConnick was so enthusiastic in her interview with Gordon that I decided I'd check out this new series and see what's what:

Two months later and I'm already five issues in. (Yes, it's my secret brown bag of shame...) I'm going to do my best not to get sucked in to the crazy, sprawling world of comics but I have this feeling I might be fighting a losing battle. Either way, it's fascinating to get past graphic novels and see what the original medium of comics is actually like for myself. I sense I might be acquiring a new vice- but at least it's cheaper than single malt.

Whisky of the Month #1: The Glen Livet, 12 Years Old

Hey, it mentions something about whiskey at the top of this blog, doesn't it? Well, whiskey was promised and whiskey I shall deliver, kids. I found 1,001 Whiskies You Must Taste Before You Die at Barnes and Noble today- while I think conquering that particular challenge is an expensive and timely proposition, I do plan on meandering through Scotch, Irish, Canadian, Rye, Bourbon to try and fully explore the wild and wonderful world of whiskey.

To assist me in this endeavor, I've armed myself with this (at least for the Single Malts, anyway):

Yes, you read that right, it's Michael Jackson's Malt Whiskey Companion- but it's this Michael Jackson...

...not the other one.

This month's offering is The Glenlivet, 12 years old. It's what I consider to be an 'old reliable' of single malt. I've had it plenty of times before and it's decently priced- a good starter malt. (For the record: this is a Single Malt. Sip this beauty, don't mix it.)

Color: Pale Gold

Nose: Whiskey Master Michael Jackson (the dead white Whiskey Expert, not the King of Pop, an odd coincidence, I know.) says the nose is 'remarkably flowery, clean and soft.' I'm not getting the flowery part but it's certainly clean and soft- a whiff of this isn't going to burn your nose hairs off.

Body: Smooth drinkin'

Palate: Vanilla is there and I'm going to agree with Mr. Jackson that there's a hint of peach lurking in there as well.

Finish: Warms you up nicely without burning on the way down.

Overall: I'd rate this *** out of ****. A nice, solid single malt that's enjoyable and goes down smooth.

So Long, Newsweek...

News broke today that after 80 years in print, Newsweek will be moving to an all digital format in early 2013. This seemed to be the inevitable denouement of what once was an excellent news magazine whose decline into irrelevancy only seemed to accelerate when it was acquired by The Daily Beast a couple of years ago. I can't say I'm surprised by this, though it is a little sad.

Newsweek was the news magazine of choice of Father Cigar when I was growing up. I would irritate him greatly by stealing new issues before he had a chance to read them and always looked forward to their year end double issue that contained the greatest political cartoons of the past year. Their 'Conventional Wisdom' section at the front of every issue was a particular favorite of mine and over the years, watching the magazine get thinner and thinner and more and more irrelevant was sad to watch. Father Cigar eventually switched to US News and World Report which I considered to be a sad, pale, version of Newsweek (and probably a touch more Conservative to boot, which suited Father Cigar's changing politics) and until I fell in love with The Economist as an undergraduate, Newsweek was my go-to magazine.

Sic transit gloria mundi. I expect Time magazine will probably follow suit in the next couple of years and news also came today that the Guardian was considering ending its print edition which might lead to much rending of garments and wringing of hands on Fleet Street. (The British Press is much more fun than it's American counterpart and, refreshingly, nobody tries to pretend like they're fair and balanced. If you're a lefty the Guardian is your paper of choice. Righties tend to like The Telegraph and my personal favorite, The Independent seems to meander in between sometimes (though staying fairly left of center.) This also sums up the British Press quite nicely- and humorously as well.)

We seem to living in a rapidly decaying age of print- no doubt this trend will continue though I think The Economist proves that it's possible to have a robust digital and print presence packed to the gills with information.

An Old (Literary) Friend: Terry Pratchett's Discworld

I've got a large and growing pile of books that need to be read but if you keep coming back looking for the next Bookshot, you'll be waiting awhile. I've taken a mild detour to visit an old literary friend- I'd call these books guilty pleasures but the writing is too good for that.

Yes, I've taken a detour back to Discworld and if you haven't dipped your toes in the satirical fantasy world of Terry Pratchett, you, kids, are missing out in a major, major way. The British Press ladles out praise for this man by the spoonful and it's entirely likely he's going to carve himself out a place in the Mount Rushmore of fantasy authors before he's done. But here's the rub: Pratchett isn't just good fantasy, he's good literature- he's quality writing and every so often I get the itch to plunge back into his books and just can't resist.

So, I'm back.

Since 1983, Pratchett has churned out 39 Discworld Novels. I haven't read them all and the neat part about this is you don't have too either. I know what you were all thinking- you were all thinking: 'Holy Shit, 39 books? No waaaaaaaaaay!' Yeah, not so much- this is actually several loosely connected series' woven into one overarching world/universe that just keeps getting bigger and bigger all the time. My two favorite storylines are The Witches and The City Watch books which break down thusly:

The Witches: Equal Rites, Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, Maskerade, Carpe Jugulum

The City Watch: Guards! Guards!, Men At Arms, Feet of Clay, Jingo, The Fifth Elephant, Night Watch, Thud!, Snuff

There are several other storylines clustered in Discworld that I haven't quite gotten into quite as much as these two. I'm not entirely sure why- but these two storylines clicked the most for me whereas the others didn't. One of these days, since Father Cigar has pretty much every Discworld book ever written (the bottom two books in the picture are actually on loan from the library of mis padres... 'on loan' meaning of course, I just purloined them for a bit.) I'm going to have to sit down and take a run at a few of them just to see if I can get back into them.

The Witches I find to be a fun storyline because of the sheer brilliance of Wyrd Sisters (take the three witches from Macbeth and build a story around them? Pretty ballsy to mess with Shakespeare but Pratchett pulls it off in hilarious fashion- Lords and Ladies drops the witches into a plot line bears a passing resemblance to A Midsummer Night's Dream, while The Phantom of the Opera floats by in Maskerade.)

The City Watch seems to resonate even more with me, especially now that I work in Law Enforcement. When Sam Vimes remarks in one of the books that the the trouble with policing is that you just can't turn it off, I know exactly what he means.

I know some of you might be rolling your eyes at witches, wizards and trolls and dwarves but this isn't your average fantasy. What makes Pratchett's Discworld so accessible is that it's a reflection of our own world- and what makes science fiction and fantasy work so damn well to me is when they tell a story that sparks the imagination and says something about the world we live in today.

Pratchett's Discworld does just that-- if you haven't checked him out, you should.

Now It Gets Tough

Recognize her? Didn't think so... but she's Dr. Jill Stein, Green Party candidate for President who has managed to impress me mightily by getting arrested (video at the link... it's AWESOME) trying to go to tonight's debate. I'd been meaning to check out her website to give her a fair shake before election and after I heard about her act of glorious civil disobedience, I checked it out.

The centerpiece of her campaign is a Green New Deal and it's very, verrrrrrrry interesting, kids. Instead of unemployment offices, she wants to create employment offices where people can go and get jobs in a new WPA type of Federal jobs program. Which isn't the worst idea I've ever heard. Things got a bit wobbly for me personally after that as I find the Greens a wee bit too left wing for my liking but then I got to Section IV, A Functioning Democracy and saw this:

3. Enact the Voter Bill of Rights that will:

• guarantee us a voter-marked paper ballot for all voting;

• require that all votes are counted before election results are released;

• replace partisan oversight of elections with non-partisan election commissions;

• celebrate our democratic aspirations by making Election Day a national holiday;

• bring simplified, safe same-day voter registration to the nation so that no qualified voter is barred from the polls;

• do away with so-called “winner take all” elections in which the “winner” does not have the support of most of the voters, and replace that system with instant runoff voting and proportional representation, systems most advanced countries now use to good effect;

• replace big money control of election campaigns with full public financing and free and equal access to the airwaves;

• guarantee equal access to the ballot and to the debates to all qualified candidates;

• abolish the Electoral College and implement direct election of the President;

• restore the vote to ex-offenders who’ve paid their debt to society; and,

• enact Statehood for the District of Columbia so that those Americans have representation in Congress and full rights to self rule like the rest of us.

Oh man oh man oh man... this Voter Bill of Rights is like my DREAM piece of legislation. I want all of these things and I'd be willing to overlook a lot to back a candidate willing to give me even a fraction of what's described above.

Gary Johnson, you've officially got competition for my endorsement (and my vote.) (There's pretty compelling video at his link, too.) Now it gets tough...

Late Night Chronicles 88: My Dream Vacuum

Two days ago, I found my dream vacuum. Yes, that's right, I have a dream vacuum, so don't judge! Some people dream about sports cars or cruises or vacations but for some reason, the closer I get to thirty, the more practical I find myself becoming so I have a dream vacuum. When the wife told our former roommate this, she said she wanted to be on Project Runway but that didn't mean that was going to happen anytime soon.

But although a pricey $649.99, my dream is closer to reality than hers- yes, the Dyson DC41 Animal Complete someday shall be mine! (For the record: I've always had a love-hate relationship with vacuums. Contrary to the Missus' often skeptical beliefs, I did have to vacuum growing up and I couldn't stand two piece vacuums and was happy when we tried our crappy Eureka in for an upright and pissed when Mother Cigar went out and got a two piece Miele again. I hate two piece vacuums. Such a pain in the ass to lug around- give me an upright and give me the best one around!)

My dream vacuum though got me thinking- would I, as a man, have had a favorite vacuum fifty years ago? Probably not, I'm guessing. Despite the fact that there seems to be a cultural trend for feminist scholars to write books proclaiming things like 'Who Needs Men?' and 'The End of Men' every couple of years, I'm not willing to say that my embrace of vacuums is symtomatic of a decline of my gender and I don't think it's threat to my masculinity to want a bitchin' vacuum. After all, we live in the age of the gadget and everybody I know who has a Dyson says they last and they're damn good, so why not go for the best? Makes perfect sense to me.

Or am I just living in the 'end times' of my gender? It's hard to tell these days... either it's 'The End of Men' or I'm playing 'the lowest difficulty setting' out there. Seems like the prognosticators want to have their cake and eat it too which gets kind of annoying after awhile. Either the patriarchy is alive and well or it's withering on the vine- which is it? My biggest criticism of the 'lowest difficulty setting' argument was that while generally true, it ignored the question of socio-economic status. Rich straight white males have it the easiest of all. Poor or Lower Middie Class... not so much. (But still pretty easy, I'll admit...)

As for the 'The End of Men' club, well, I think it's not so much 'the end of men' as it is the evolution of gender roles and the infantilism that the younger generation is subjected to by Baby Boomers- it's not necessarily gender that's the problem. It's a generational problem. I was raised in a two parent household by a mother who was raised by a single mom and there was no such thing as 'women's work' and marriage, so derided in some quarters is about teamwork. I don't want to be the head of anything because as far as I'm concerned, the Missus and I are in this thing together. And nuts to those people that think that means I'm some kind of an emasculated sissy for acting that way. If feminists and feminism fundamentally altered what it means to be a woman, I see no reason why men can't do the same thing- and if I'm expected to pick up a big club, smash things around and throw the wife over my shoulder and drag her back to my cave, well, thanks, but no thanks. I'll pass.

People moan about the demographics though and that's a tougher argument. Yes, men are rapidly becoming the minority on college campuses. Yes, in some quarters (though not all) men have been disproportionately hit by the recession. Yes, even as someone wrote 'Reviving Ophelia' to champion better education for girls in primary and secondary school, apparently we're in need of a 'Resucistating Hamlet' to champion the same thing for boys now.

So what's at fault? I am convinced that the institutions we depend on, like schools are in need of massive reform. Instead of medicating everyone for ADHD, why not reform the outmoded, industrial, 19th Century model of education to one that works for the high paced world of today. Damned if I know what that would look like but it doesn't seem to me that a lot of people are asking that question to begin with. That would help boys thrive.

I've got a lot living left to do but one thing I seemed to have figured out is that punctuality counts for a lot. 80% of being successful in life is just showing up. Inculcate a healthy respect for punctuality and you can go further than you think- especially in the workplace.

And for the love of mike can we start teaching kids how to function in the real world? Self-reliance and not needing to call Mommy and Daddy for every little thing would be refreshing. (I will NOT be a helicopter parent. Especially a psychotic one.) This infantilizing of the younger generation doesn't produce leaders, it produces whiners and I'm getting tired of listening to it.

Finally: it's all about the hustle. Work your hind end off- and that goes for girls as well as boys. Take any job you can get in this economy, work hard at what you've got and hit the streets until you find something better than the one you've got.

If we can do all of the above then maybe just maybe people won't make a living pigeonholing a whole gender so they can sell books, maybe we'll get better schools in the bargain and maybe just maaaaaaaaybe, you'll find yourself with 700 extra dollars so you can go out and buy your dream vacuum.

Scotland's Flower To Bloom Again?

A deal has been struck allowing Scotland to hold an independence referendum in 2014. It's going to be a single yes or no question- so it's all in or all out for the Scots.

I feel a bit mournful about all of this... I'll have to interrogate some family members from across the Pond to try and get a more accurate picture of how people feel about it but I think there's a certain amount of 'don't let the door hit you on the way out' feeling south of the border- feelings only exacerbated by the fact that Scottish MPs can still vote on matters pertaining only to England, while English MPs can no longer vote on matter that have been devolved back to the Scottish Parliament at Holyrood. There's a fundamental imbalance in the relationship right now that needs correcting somehow. (Whether through 'divorce' or some other method.)

But leaving that aside, I think my cynicism is curiously marred by a sense of curiosity about the whole thing. I'm cynical because I think people lack a certain amount of respect for history these days- nations, institutions, practices shouldn't be forgotten or cast aside quite so quickly but I also am curious because I love to watch history unfold right in front of me. I'm the type of person who'd drop anything to watch something cool happen somewhere- whether it's a ridiculous skydive from twenty four miles up, a regime change in a country long overdue or some sporting achievement that I've yet to see in my lifetime.

So it's interesting and it's kind of sad all at the same time. Both sides of my family hail from the North- Mother Cigar was actually born in Dumfries, Scotland while Father Cigar's family claims roots in Clan Nixon, an small clan along the frontier between England and Scotland- I can't claim to be either entirely Scottish or entirely English and I doubt there are many people that can (seriously- get on Ancestry.com and start tracing backwards. Bet it won't be 100% English or Scottish for long.) If I say anything about my dual citizenship or heritage, I say British because that's what seems to fit the best.

Like I said, I'm speaking from sentiment more than anything else. If the Scots really want out, I'm sure they'll go and although I'd be pretty bummed out by the end of Britain, people do have a right to self-determiniation. But a lot can change in two years and two years down the road, if the EU has managed to stablize itself suddenly independence might look a lot more attractive to Scotland. (Assuming, of course, they can get into the EU to begin with. I doubt Spain will look kindly on anything to give the Catalans any more ideas than they've already got.)

As long as the whiskey keeps flowing, I'll be fine! (Hmmm... I'd like to qualify that statement by adding: as long as they don't jack up the price.)

P.S. I'm assuming this will be their new national anthem-- gotta admit, it does stir the soul a bit.

Red Bull Gives You Wings (Or A Good Parachute, Anyway.)

Yes, I was one of the millions of people that had to stop everything and watch Austrian Skydiver/Basejumper/All Around Bad-Ass Felix Baumgartner jump from more than 24 miles up this morning:



I saw a Tweet in French sail by at one point that compared it to Disneyland- 2 1/2 hours to get there and then only four minutes or so of an actual jump but, spiky Frogs aside, this was one hell of an achievement and, as they've been quick to point out, has some potentially scientific applications for bailing out at super high altitudes/space even (though it's to be noted, his balloon more or less stopped ascending before he jumped out. Not sure how a space bailout would work if you're in a capsule/shuttle hurtling very fast towards the ground.)

This was cool- I don't know if I'd go so far as to call it inspirational but it comes close. We seemed to be past the era where people did amazing things just, more or less, to see if they could- hopefully Felix Baumgartner will inspire others to conquer new challenges and to test the limits of human possibility.

Now does anyone now where I can get a Red Bull?

UPDATED: Here's some of the headcam footage from the jump. Pretty cool stuff.

A Slice of the 1990s

Anybody else remember this video?

I remember seeing this video on MTV back when MTV was still worth a damn and showing music videos- I saw it once. And only once. After that it faded to the mists of history as I'm sure everybody's probably aware that Jimmie's Chicken Shack isn't exactly filling up stadiums and selling albums (at least not that I've seen anymore, obviously, I wish them well.)

But on this dreary, rainy, cold day, I thought y'all would appreciate a slice of the 1990s. Enjoy!

Instagram Food Wars: Cupcakes

Kids: Welcome to the first edition of INSTAGRAM FOOD WARS! With the new iPhone, I hopped on Instagram and started taking purty pictures and thought, why not start putting some of them to use. So, here we are and I'm setting two local cupcake joints up against each other to see who would come out on top.

For some reason, I developed a hankering for cupcakes- either making my own or tasting someone else's. If done right, they're small enough to satisfy anybody's sweet tooth without being overwhelming- and a cursory review of the internet reveals that there's a wide range of cupcake recipes that include copious amounts of alcohol which to me, is always a plus. Our two local joints are Molly's Cupcakes of Iowa City and just up the Interstate, Scratch Cupcakery of Cedar Falls.

Molly's Cupcakes, Butterscotch Caramel: The Missus and I ventured down to Molly's not long after it opened to sample their cupcakes and to be frank, at the time, both of us were somewhat disappointed. Granted, we did take our cupcakes from their 'Walk of Shame' Plate (which is where their mess-ups/wonky cupcakes get sold at a mild discount) and the results were messy. The cake was crumbly, the frosting overwhelming and whole experience kinds of a weird mess.

However, I wanted to give them a second shot and I'm happy to report on the second go-round, Molly's came through quite nicely. They promised butterscotch caramel and they delivered- the cake was solid and held together nicely. The caramel seemed to infuse the entire cake, giving it a sticky toffee pudding type of a texture. This cupcake was filled with butterscotch pudding and even the frosting was a step down from the overwhelming pile that I had on my first visit. Even better: the cupcake held together! I don't know if we just got bad cupcakes the first time round or what- but Molly's Cupcakes has more than redeemed itself and it worth a visit if you're after a good cupcake in Iowa City.

Scratch Cupcakery, Mocha: I kept hearing about the magic of Scratch Cupcakery in Cedar Falls,IA. Everyone kept telling me that if you wanted seriously good cupcakes, Scratch was the place to go. So when the Missus and I found ourselves in Cedar Falls to celebrate the mother in law's (and her Mom's) birthday, we made it a point to stop at Scratch and acquire some cupcakes to see if they lived up to the hype.

Guess what? They do. We got a half dozen of them in a variety of flavors and the one that stood out the most for me was the Mocha Cupcake. Not only was the overall cake itself, nice and compact, but the cake was moist and bursting with chocolate and coffee flavors. It was topped off by the perfect amount of buttercream frosting with a single coffee bean on top. (The mother in law was less than crazy about the bean, but I didn't mind it.)

Their buttercream frosting might just be the best example of buttercream frosting I have ever tasted. It was smooth and practically melted in your mouth- it's almost worth making a trip to Cedar Falls just for the frosting.

THE WINNER: It was tough but I'm going to have to go with Scratch Cupcakery- but only by a last second field goal. I'm glad I gave Molly's a second chance because they were worth a second a look. But that buttercream frosting that Scratch brings to the table... oh man oh man oh man. It's a good thing I don't live in Cedar Falls because that could be a very dangerous temptation to expose myself too.

Great Moments in Veep Debates

1992:


Proud to say that in the 4th Grade I cast an entirely fake vote for Ross Perot and Admiral Stockdale in the stupid Kids Vote thing they made us do. (That 'Fiercely Independent Politics' thing on the top of the blog? I mean that- and it began in 1992 with Perot and Stockdale.)


1988:


I believe the words you're looking for are: 'Oh SNAP.'

I'll be stuck at work tonight so I won't be watching the much anticipated and slobbered over match-up between Vice President Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. Some Conservatives out there seem pretty confident that Ryan will mop the floor with Biden but I think Biden's a tricky old dude. It wouldn't surprise me if he does OK and at this point expectations for him are so low in some quarters that if he can make it through without drooling on himself, they'll be able to spin it as a win.

UPDATED: For everyone that's weary of these two party shenanigans, some interesting thoughts on Dr. Jill Stein, Presidential Candidate for the Green Party. (Here and here) Might have to take a look at her website...

Late Night Chronicles 87: Our Monstrous Carbuncles

Kids, I'm not going to pretend to be a student of architecture and design but I know what I like and I know that the architecture and design of a building impacts a community, whether we want to admit it or not. Buildings help define the place we live and whether they are our houses or part of the heart of own communities, there should, by rights, be a certain amount of respect and awareness of the community around a parcel of land where new developers want to build.

When I first heard that New-Pi was looking at moving it's downtown location to the now empty lot (previous occupied by the Bus Station) at the corner of College/Gilbert, I was excited. This was a good opportunity for them a place where they could establish a larger facility with better parking and really secure a place in the heart of the community for decades to come. It wasn't a radical or a big move but it seemed sensible. Then the City had to get involved. They asked for nine proposals for the lot- some incorporated a new location of the Co-Op, some didn't and the vast majority of them (with the exception one maybe one six-story building proposal) were high rises.

Now, I've got nothing against high rises in their place. Marc Moen built the Plaza Towers- it took away a dingy, empty lot and it makes the Pedestrian Mall feel more complete overall. The steel and glass modernity of it contrast with the surrounding buildings but don't clash with them. That, to me, is how a new development should work. It should fit in with the buildings around it. (Whether we need a second one of these smack dab in the middle of the Ped Mall is another question entirely. I give the notion a hearty 'hell no' and 'oh HELL no' with TIF money included.)

But east of Gilbert? Another high rise? Thanks, but no thanks. It would be, to paraphrase Prince Charles of all people* 'a monstrous carbuncle on the face of an old friend.' A lifelong townie, I don't usually find myself marching in lockstep with the crusty, geriatric townies that piss and moan about absolutely everything (and whom I'm convinced secretly wish they could have a University with all the employment, pensions and job security they could handle without any students whatsoever) but on this issue, I'll man the barricades with them. We don't need high density development pushing downtown further east into the College Green neighborhood. Those neighborhoods are under enough pressure from student housing pushing further and further outwards over the past couple of decades throwing high density development into that mix will only add to the pressure.

It's times like this that I wish developers would actually go look at the community they live in a bit more. I can't entirely blame them, after all- bigger and shinier means potentially more money for them down the line but they should go eat a sandwich on the bench next to Irving Weber downtown and ask themselves what he would build. Next time they go to a football game up at Kinnick, they should pause and really look at the place. I used to roll my eyes whenever the PA announcer would practically italicize the Historic in Historic Kinnick Stadium but if you take in the architecture of the place, it really is kind of neat. I think it's the brick arches that do it for me.

And there's a striking lack of community input for some of these projects that surprises me. Maybe I'm wrong about that- I hope I am but if there are public forums or open houses, they're really not that well advertised. And I think overall, that our community can do better and has the creativity to develop a vision better than the somewhat questionable idea of bringing a piece of the big city to Iowa... big cities, while fun in small doses seem to me to have too much traffic, lousy parking and a plethora of tall buildings. We're two thirds of the way there already at least during the school year, so I'm sure developers just figure, why not go the rest of the way?

Such a vision is cold and antiseptic and does not fit in with this community. I'll freely admit, kids that when the retail survey circulated around I took it, drank the Kool-Aid and got excited. I was for anything we could get downtown. Anything to diversify it. And then our mini Fro-yo boom hit and the locally owned Yotopia now finds itself with two arboreally themed fro-yo chains just blocks away from it (Orange Leaf and Aspen Leaf.) I'm still not 100% against chain retail stores downtown but I do believe that people want to spend money in this community and would and are supporting a variety of locally owned businesses. (I know where I'm getting Fro-Yo from, put it that way.) Coralville might keep winning the retail lottery by stealing things like Von Maur (TRAITORS!) But the TIF money is going to run out eventually and a forest of steel and glass carbuncles isn't a vision that can successfully compete- nor should it be a vision that we want here in Iowa City.

(*This is the speech that Chuckie gave- giving a firm thumbs down to a proposed addition to London's National Gallery that would have been uber-modern apparently. Chuckie spoke up and pointed out that new developments should be in line with the spirit and form of the community around them. The uber-modern addition never went forward. This ranks as probably one of the more useful things Prince Charles has ever done.)

This Week In Vexillology #1

Uganda turns 50 today! They've faced down challenges and they've got challenges ahead of them but there's going to be some celebrating down in what Churchill called 'The Pearl of Africa.'

I'm going to make a confession, kids: I'm something of an amateur vexillologist. I've got a whole crate of flags in the garage and I'm struggling to figure out what to do with them as I think I'd like to actually figure out a way to display them instead of keeping them locked up and gathering dust- but how do you display 40 flags? That's a challenge I have yet to figure out.

But in honor of Uganda's birthday, I thought I'd explain their flag:

It was adopted 50 years ago today for national and civil usage. Black, yellow and red were the party colors of the Ugandan People's Congress which was the dominant party at the time of independence- they also represent the Ugandan people, sunlight and brotherhood and the great crested crane at the center of the flag is the national badge of Uganda.

Keep your flags flying- freak or otherwise!

#ISupportStaceyDash

Kids, I don't agree with Mittens. I'm not going to vote for Mittens unless I trip and fall on my way into the voting booth and suffer a head trauma of some kind that disconnects my brain a little bit.

That said, everybody has a right to their opinion and everybody can vote for whom they damn well please which is why this bullshit pisses me off.

To what bull excrement do I refer? Well, actress Stacey Dash who happens to be African American and was in Clueless if you don't recognize the name, took to Twitter to declare her support for Mittens and got a world of vitriol heaped back on her head for it. She was undeterred but it bugs me. It just ain't right.

Now, you can say that if she has a right to her opinion then you have a right to your opinion and if your opinion is that she's a horrible human being for this, well then grow the eff up.

Everybody has a right to their opinion. People need to stop being assholes about that.

Columbus Day

You know, I'd almost forgotten it was Columbus Day today. To me, it seems to be the silliest of holidays. There's free parking, certain governmental offices might be closed, you get no mail and there are good sales at Kohl's or JC Penny's. You don't even get it off school (at least in Iowa- the Missus once enlightened me to the fact that in South Dakota, it's apparently Native People's Day and they did get it off of school.)

So Columbus... I can't say that I see too many positives about the guy. The legacy of Spanish and Portugese colonialism isn't a pretty one- and it's one that many countries are still struggling to overcome today. Straight exploitation for resources left whole civilizations devastated in its wake and while you can't blame one man for introducing smallpox to the Americas (though some people try) it seems silly to clap your hands and say 'Hooray' when you have to face up to the fact that the human cost of what Columbus achieved- however inadvertant that cost might have been was extremely high.

But I remember 1992. People went nuts for Columbus- for obvious reasons, 500 years after his voyage. There were massive specials on PBS and some of that must have stuck with me because when, a few years later, my mother got one of those hankerings to dump us all in the car and drive somewhere, we went down to Keokuk to see a scale model of either the Nina, the Pinta or the Santa Maria. I can't remember which. And it was very cool and the ship was very small. I think it's possible to dislike the effects of achievement while at the same time respecting it- because heading into the unknown, however you do it, takes courage.

Of course, the holiday also gets politicized. Conservatives complain about the politically correct police tryin' to run Columbus down. Native Americans make compelling points that there isn't really a lot to celebrate when you get right down to it.

I feel like Columbus Day isn't really a holiday. If it were, there'd be no classes today and I'd be picking up some holiday pay at work. The concept of a Native People's Day might make a lot more sense to me but undoubtedly someone will object to that. So instead, we'll just have a half-assed holiday. Some weird day where we don't get mail and get free parking in the ramps downtown.

I guess that's Columbus' legacy. That and having the capitol of Ohio named after him.

The Best of Bond, James Bond

James Bond turns 50 this year and all the anniversary coverage has gotten me in the mood for a vodka martini, shaken not stirred. The preview for the new Bond movie, Skyfall looks ridiculously awesome, Adele's theme song for the movie also ranks right up there as probably the best theme since Madonna's Die Another Day and this glorious thing made its way on to Amazon Wishlist. (Are you listening Santa?)

I was going to try and put together my personal list of the best Bond movies but that's been done to death and really, every Bond fan has different opinions on this question. Instead, I thought I'd float a couple of what I consider to be the overlooked gems of the franchise.

Most Overlooked: I consider this to be a tie between The Living Daylights and Octopussy. The Living Daylights is taut, tight, topical and for the late 80s, timely- especially when they venture to Afghanistan at the end of the movie. Not many people I know loved Timothy Dalton as Bond but between the overwrought, 'we'd really like to be Miami Vice not at all a revenge pic since Felix lives' License To Kill and this one, I take The Living Daylights all the way. (Bonus: one of the best theme songs of the Bond franchise, courtesy of A-ha.)

Octopussy I think gets overlooked a lot because the name is utterly ridiculous but between the humor and wit and occasional schlock of a lot of the Roger Moore era, Octopussy delivers a pulse-pounding, race to prevent doomsday thriller- complete with faberge eggs, trips to India and an island full of Amazonian warrior women. (Plus a random cameo by Indian tennis star Vijay Amritraj.)

Almost A Disaster: For Your Eyes Only from my high school days, I remember carefully watching the aquatically themed opening credits trying to glimpse the purported female nipple hidden therein. Though the teenage figure skater trying to seduce Bond is annoying as shit and nearly derails the whole damn thing. Some people aren't fans of the Thatcher scene at the end but I thought it was hilarious. And the scene where Bond tells General Gogol: 'That's detente, comrade. You don't have it, I don't have it.' Really sums up the movie nicely.

Most Disappointing Movie: Would have to be The World Is Not Enough. Pierce Brosnan's third outing as James Bond had a lot going for it in my book- including the nicely psychological twist of having a female villain (played with panache by Sophie Morceau) mess with Bond's head. But gross miscasting of Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist and her name (Christmas Jones) being designed to set up a lame punchline you knew, you KNEW was coming at some point in the movie killed it for me.

The World Is Not Enough hovers on the edge of true greatness balanced between the slightly ridiculous plot of a modern day William Randolph Hurst of Tomorrow Never Dies and the overwrought CGI filled saga of Die Another Day. But Denise Richards ruins it all.

Best Villain: Jaws

Well, duh.

Best Bond Girl: Colonel Lin, Tomorrow Never Dies

This was kind of a tough call. Though Miranda Frost wins on sheer captivating beauty, I like Bond Girls that can go toe to toe with 007 and give him a run for his money. Michelle Yeoh's portrayal of Colonel Lin gave 007 an equal in a way that viewers didn't see until Eva Green's luminous portrayal of Vesper Lynn in Casino Royale. I still think it would have been perfect if she wouldn't have given into his charms at the end of Tomorrow Never Dies but all in all, this is the most capable, ass-kicking, girl power Bond Girl out there.

Best Bond: Bond purists are going to hate me for this, but I've got to go with Roger Moore.

All glory to Sean Connery and even Pierce Brosnan but before I saw Goldeneye, the first Bond movie I ever owned was Live and Let Die. Moore had the debonair charm, wit and bad-assery needed for the role and although he might have overstayed his welcome a bit- he looked a bit old by the time we got to A View To A Kill, the longest serving Bond for me, made the role his. Roger Moore's the man.

Get Your Knowledge On

I didn't listen to the debate. I watched it on mute, thankfully enough and haven't really paid all that much attention to the aftermath. Of course this election was going to be close. Of course Romney was going to make a race of it. And of course, the townhall format of the next debate will probably let the President make up some ground and keep it close.

Here's my thing- choice is king in America yet we're told that we've only got two choices. So, for the record, the following people are running for President:

Gary Johnson, Libertarian Party
Jill Stein, Green Party
Virgil Goode, Constitution Party
Roseanne Barr, Peace and Freedom Party
Stewart Alexander, Socialist Party USA
Rocky Anderson, Justice Party USA
American Independent Party
Peta Lindsay, Party for Socialism and Liberation
Andre Barnett, Reform Party USA
Tom Hoefling, America's Party
Tom Stevens, Objectivist Party
Merlin Miller, American Third Position Party
Jim Carlson, Grassroots Party
Jerry White, Socialist Equality Party

If you're tired of the ads, tired of the rhetoric, tired of electing people that promise to get things done and don't deliver, there are options out there. Remember: the only wasted vote is the one you don't cast.

Writing Female Characters and 'Expectations'

PandaSez over at Functional Reality, Buttons Optional posted this thought provoking article about a fantasy author (whom I haven't read) who was asked when her female characters were finally going to get raped.

This bothered me- beyond the obvious affrontary of asking such a question to begin with (I mean, why do characters have to get raped to begin with? What is wrong with you that you're expecting that?) It kind of forced me into a gut check about just how I myself am writing the female protagonists in my current novel and what I found was something of a mixed bag.

This is kind of an old chestnut that comes up in creative/fiction writing circles, but it's one I think about a lot: can men write women? The Quiet Man and I have had this discussion before and I like to think I've been aware of the problem but I also think that as a writer, I don't really think that much about it either- characters are characters and I find myself being more interested into what makes my characters into the people they become over the course of my book rather than their gender, race or sexuality. Of course, that's not to say that I don't unconciously translate any prejudices I might have into my writing but I also feel like there's a real danger that you could overthink things as well. I tend to favor a more organic approach to creating characters. I feel like if you're bogged down in figuring out if this is realistic for a female or a white female versus an African-American female, you're going to get stuck in the mud and fast. (And what's more important authenticity and realism or well constructed characters?)

So having read this and thought about it some, I find myself a little troubled by the travails of my main protagonist, Chelsea. She doesn't get raped but she does get tortured and yes, I feel like it's necessary. Not for realism or for the integrity of my work but because the experience ultimately makes her stronger and more confirmed in her beliefs by the end of the book. Chelsea evolves- and that's what I wanted to illustrate over the course of the novel. In an America gone mad with Washington D.C. destroyed and the unity of the nation at threat as an authoritarian Junta tries to hold things together, how far would people be willing to go? Would people be willing to fight? If the Commies invaded, I have no trouble believing that people would go Red Dawn and get Wolverine-y on their behinds. But what if it's our fellow Americans? What if we at war with ourselves? In the age of superficial crap does anyone believe in anything real anymore?

So while I agree that people shouldn't expect female characters to get raped (seriously- who does that? Still shaking my head thinking about that) I have to say in all honesty that, to me, it really depends on that story that you're telling and what you're willing to put your characters through. But in no circumstances should it ever be an expectation...

(Trying to think what female protagonists have influenced my writing the most- not surprisingly, science fiction/fantasy is well represented. For my top three, I'd say Lessa from Anne McCaffery's Dragonflight, Polgara from David Eddings' Belgariad/Mallorean Series and probably Granny Weatherwax from Pratchett's Discworld. If you haven't read any of these, I strongly reccomend them.)

It's October In Iowa

Some Instagram love from the new iPhone. 14 inches of snow got dumped on northwestern Minnesota last night. Winter is coming, so enjoy autumn while you still can.

The Battle For The New Jail Is ON!

I was wondering when the Vote No crowd was going to get organized and it appears they have with a website and a few lawn signs starting to pop up here and there. As I mentioned earlier in the month when I made my State and Local Endorsements, I am supporting a new Justice Center, why?

Well, we're spending $1.3 million a year to have other counties house our inmates and the current jail is just plan inadequate to the needs of the county. Don't get me wrong: I know what county I live in and I'm betting this won't pass but the reasons the NO campaign are floating aren't really impressing me all that much:

1. $46.8 million in taxpayer money: Well, new jails aren't cheap. I'm pretty sure I remember the Board of Supervisors actual voting to LOWER the amount of money they were asking for not that long ago- and despite the cost- which I'm not crazy about this is something we actually need.

2. TSA-style Security for Regular Courthouse Visits: I need more specifics on that. Are we talking strip searches? Gropings? Full body scanners? Or just metal detectors? The Courthouse deals with people who have committed, you know, crimes and some of them aren't the nicest people in the world. Keeping everyone who visits there safe is also not unimportant.

3. "Build It And They Will Fill It": Seriously? How big do you think this new Jail is going to be? If they wanted to go south of town and build a gigantic shiny new Justice Center then maybe- maaaaaaaaaaaaybe, this would be a valid argument. But how much more space are they going to have? If it's not significantly more than what they need to make up the current shortfall in space, I say fail on this argument too.

4. Merging the Courthouse with the jail is a BAD Idea: They want to kill two birds with one stone- the Courthouse needs extra space and the jail for sure does need extra space. And it's not like the new jail is going to go all Borg Cube on the Courthouse and swallow it whole- look at the picture on their website. The Historic Courthouse is going to look the same as it always has.

5. Fear Mongering (and highly exaggerrated risk to public harm) are being used to sell the project to the public: I'm not really seeing this one either. We can spend $46 million now or keep spending $1.3 million a year to have other counties house our prisoners. Either way, there are still going to be prisoners and we're still going to have a problem but biting the bullet and building a new jail relieves us of that $1.3 million bill we're paying each and every year.

Look, I'm not wild about this. The County just got the kinks worked out of the new Joint Communications Center (which was expensive- as consolidating Dispatch centers always is) and now they're asking for a new Jail. That's ballsy to be frank about it and I think this would have a lot better chance of passing had they asked for the new Jail before consolidating the dispatch centers. But the Courthouse and the Jail really do need the space and this proposal although pricier than I'd like solves that problem.

The Most Interesting Avengers

So I got The Avengers on Blu-Ray as a birthday present and a few days ago I sat down and watched it again. On second viewing, it was just as awesome as it was when I saw it in the theatres, only this time I think the complexities and subtleties of the characters were even more noticeable than the first time around and the deleted scenes only gave further proof of that- as we see a moody and melancholy Captain America struggling as a man out of time and Bruce Banner's encounter with the security guard in the empty warehouse fleshing out the struggle between Banner and the Hulk just a little further than we saw in the theatrical release.

But to me, the most interesting characters were the ones that we knew the least about and that was the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner). Both characters have made appearances in prior movies leading up to The Avengers- the Black Widow showing up in Iron Man 2 and Hawkeye briefly popping up in Thor but The Avengers was the first time we'd seen them together and gotten hints at their respective backstories. They're an unusual pair for The Avengers- a super-spy/assassin and a super-marksman/archer- they're not slathered in various super powers like the other members of the team and the viewer is left without a full explanation of their backstories during the movie- and I don't know about anybody else but that made me curious as hell. I was left wanting to know more about these two.

I don't want to get bogged down in the long storied comic book history of the Black Widow and Hawkeye as storylines tend to shift and change and people can wander in and out of various storylines but a peruse through Wikipedia reveals that these two have what I would consider to be a fairly compelling story to tell- as they've both been bad guys at one point for various reasons and it seems that as they fell in love (at least in the comics) that's what brought them back to the good guys- an interesting evolution. (Hawkeye is called Hawkeye for exactly the reason you think, fellow Iowegians- he was born in Waverly, Iowa.)

Complex story, complex characters and a relationship that's left somewhat mysterious on the silver screen- do they love each other? Does the Black Widow, as she says, 'have red in ledger?' It's never exactly made clear what there motivations are- and I think Johansson and Renner were perfectly cast. I like the fact that Johansson doesn't even bother to try a Russian accent. She's a super spy. She doesn't need to and it's nice to see a female super hero that's not afraid to go toe to toe with her male counterparts and be totally unapologetic about it. (If we can get to a point where a female super hero doesn't need to highlight her cleavage quite so much, that might be considered tangible progress as well.) And Renner brings a subtle sense of humor to his role that made him a lot of fun to watch and, most importantly- the two had chemistry. They bounced off of each other nicely.

In a perfect world, these two would get their own movies. They've each got the acting chops to do it I think and if we're going to have to sit through movies like X-Men Origins: Wolverine why not take a chance on these two- or at the very least the Black Widow. I mean, they tried Elektra (fail) and a new Wonder Woman movie doesn't seem to be forthcoming anytime soon, so when are the ladies going to get their turn at the superhero thing?

As an aspiring author, one of the many things I love about telling stories is that sometimes you find the most interesting characters in the most unexpected of places. I've done that recently in my own turgid attempt at a novel (still ongoing, of course) and I've got to say that the Black Widow and Hawkeye were the two best characters in The Avengers. You didn't know a lot about them coming in and you were left wanting to know more after it ended.