Thursday, February 10, 2011

Late Night Chronicles 75: The Ultimate Face Palm

Originally published on Facebook today- I'm sure all of you are wondering if I can count properly, because I skipped from 73 to 75- 74, while a nice little rant on my part dealt with House Study Bill 50, ostensibly designed to protect freedom of conscience which has since been withdrawn from consideration. Backers of the bill are promising to keep working at it, but for now, that little piece of ridiculous idiocy has gone. Hence, I skipped that note.

OK, I've got to ask and I know other people out there are starting to wonder themselves: did House Republicans in Des Moines decide to collectively drop acid before starting work on their legislative agenda? I mean, let's look at the high points thus far: there's the Marriage Protection Whatever, presumably designed to protect and institution that's been around for thousands of years from the ravages of committed gay and lesbian couples getting married themselves- we're told that this will protect marriage. Yet curiously, committed gay and lesbian couples have getting married for quite some time now and I've yet to see any effects, good or bad on my marriage whatsoever. (Could it be perhaps that there ARE no detrimental effects on marriage? I'm thinking maybe.)

That was a good start. For an encore, however House Republicans decided that this was not enough- we need to protect the consciences of people across this state who were offended by gay marriage by making it legal for them to deny services and outright discriminate against pretty much anyone we don't like. (No word if this extends to House Republicans themselves as of yet- oh and I still think an amendment protecting people from idiotic, laughable laws such as this one is protection that every citizen of Iowa deserves.) Happily this law was too stupid to go anywhere and has died a quiet death- but they'll work out a way to bring it back, apparently. Oh goody.

But were House Republicans done? Oh no, kids- they were just getting started, because now, apparently, they want to have a fire sale of the state's prized cultural possessions, starting with the famed Jackson Pollock Mural that's owned by the University. House Study Bill 84, proposed by House Appropriations Chairman Scott Raecker of Urbandale (what is with people from Des Moines trying to poach our art collection? First it was DM Regent Michael Gartner and now this guy...) would require the University to sell the painting to set up an endowment to fund scholarships for resident students who want to study art and the University of Iowa.

Smack. That sound- that sound right there kids, is the sound of my palm impacting my face. What a spectacularly stupid idea! Let's have a bake sale and sell one of the most important cultural possesions the state has. People only come here from around the world to see it. Yes, I'll say that again- people come from AROUND THE WORLD to OUR STATE to see this amazing painting. If we sell it, you can add all the little stipulations you want about us getting it for 3 months at a time, once every 4 years, it won't matter- people won't be coming here to see it, they'll be going to New York City to see it. The real tragedy here is that so few Iowans are aware of the treasure trove of amazing art that got flooded out in 2008. We have one of the best African art collections in the country. We have pieces by Matisse and Grant Wood and other amazing artists from across the world and yes, we have the Pollock. Which helps to draw students from around the country, if not the world to Iowa, because if art is your passion, what an amazing opportunity it would be to study one of the most iconic paintings in American history up close and personal.

Selling it for pocket change would be an act of outright cultural vandalism and for what? Scholarship money? The way the legislature keeps cutting funding to higher education and the way tuition keeps shooting up, how long do you think that money is going to be there? And once it's gone, what then? Then we'll look around and realize that one of the great cultural treasures of this state is gone forever. And we'll wonder why we were so short-sighted and gave it away so quickly. Sure, maybe to a lot of people out there, it's just a few swirls of paint on a canvas. But too few Iowans have gotten the chance to see this painting for themselves- and we shouldn't deny them that chance forever. This is an amazing thing that's right here in our state and is worthy of protection. It shouldn't be treated like an old rug you put out at a garage sale. Would we sell the covered bridges of Madison County? Would we sell the Effigy Mounds- or the Ocheydan Mound for that matter? What about Hilton Colliseum or Kinnick Stadium? I'm not hearing a rousing chorus of 'oh, what a great idea' to selling any of those things- and yes, although it may be hard to believe that a mere painting could be as iconic as Hilton, Kinnick or the Bridges in Madison County, this one IS.

I get it though: House Republicans are trying to get the state on a secure financial footing for the future. But with something like 900 million in a rainy day fund still, we need to take a breath and realize that we're not Illinois. We haven't hit the iceburg and the band isn't playing as the ship goes down and Kate and Leo aren't going to get frozen to death in the North Atlantic anytime soon. There are practical things that we should be doing now to secure financial stability for the long term- reforming pensions, tackling administrative bloat and cost inefficiencies in higher education, tax reform, education reform as a whole- all of which would have bigger long term payoff than selling the Pollock would. Of course, truly if House Republicans were truly principled, then they'd go one step further and remember that in the Golden Age of Pericles, public service didn't bring home the cheddar the way it does today- oh no, back then it was something that was inflicted upon a citizen, like herpes or the syph. I wonder how much money we could save if the legislature spent less time legislating silliness like this and didn't get paid a dime for it?

I don't know, but I'm betting it would make one helluva scholarship fund. Who's with me?

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