Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Late Night Chronicles 79: Sand In My Waffles

Cross-posted on Facebook just minutes ago...

The Obama Administration has spent the last month and a half waffling so much it should, by rights, own a whole chain of pancake and waffle houses by now. I've stopped watching the news as much as possible, because as Colonel Nutbag continues to unleash his airforce, tanks and assorted heavy weaponry against his own citizens, all the United States seems to be capable of doing is watching. And, of course, waffling.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying we go all Strangelove on the place and I get that the Middle East is an incredibly complex, delicate situation for any President to handle at the best of times, never mind when a whole generation of pissed off Arabs are waking up and wondering why their governments seem incapable of delivering even basic economic prosperity to anyone but themselves- but this is starting to get ridiculous. No, I take that back: ridiculous was reached two weeks ago. This is now descending to the levels of bad farce. Are we wracked by indecision? Are we incapable of making decisions now? Was it possible that the Secretary of State, who I'm sure is just doing the best she can, given the Waffler-In-Chief's apparent incapacity to do something, was correct in her assessment of the President just three short years ago? The phone has been ringing off the hook for all hours of the day (not just at 3 AM) for what seems like weeks now and nobody wants to pick up the phone and do something.

There's a whole host of tiresome arguments we can get through. We don't want to offend more Arabs. We don't want to offend Europeans, the United Nations, Russia, China, Venezuela, Bolivia, Cuba or a whole host of other nations. We don't want to get involved in yet another mess in the Middle East. The old chestnut of 'it's not our business' and 'we can't be the world's policeman' seem to be starting to bubble up to the top of the pot as well. All the arguments put forth amount to little more that spurious dribble from an Administration that is looking like it needs a crowbar and several gallons of Vaseline to get it's foreign policy machinery into any semblance of coherent sanity at this point.

To whit: the Libyan Rebels aren't asking for the moon on a string. They've been tortured, beaten and oppressed for four decades now and understandably, they'd like the honor of hunting down Colonel Nutbag and all his merry men and stringing them up from whatever lamppost happens to be handy. They'd like weapons and maybe a no-fly zone. And here we come to the part that's making me absolutely nuts, kids: these are things we can DO! They're easy, easy things that don't involve sending troops into harms way and help people out that just want some semblance of an actual government for themselves for once. Am I crazy or wouldn't it be great if we helped Libya liberate itself and they said 'hey, thanks for those missiles, guys...' wouldn't it just give you a warm, fuzzy feeling to know that there are Arabs who remember that when the chips were down and they needed the help the United States didn't get all iHop about it and stepped up and actually helped?

And yes, I know, I know- that didn't work out so well for us in Afghanistan. We chased the Soviets out, gave them all the weapons they could possibly want and yeah, that's how we ended up with Osama Bin Laden. And yes, yes, yes, I know that a no-fly zone is not as simple as it seems and that there are risks to American lives there as well but knocking off Colonel Nutbag would be good for our interests in the region. Stabilizing Libya as quickly as possible: also good for our interests in the region. Given the fact that gas is now $3.49 a gallon, at least where I am, stabilizing a country that has a whole boatload of oil would also be good.

I can understand, given what's happened in Iraq and what's still happening in Afghanistan the Administration's unwillingness and hesitation about possibly getting drawn into yet another conflict in the Middle East. No one wants to see more American troops on the ground in yet another country over there- especially when all our fighting men and women aren't even home from Afghanistan and Iraq yet. So that's understandable. But here again, we run into the rage inducing part of all of this. The Libyan Rebels? They don't want boots on the ground. They've been saying this in I don't know how many different ways for weeks now. No foreign troops on Libyan soil. None, nada, zilch, not a single one- they just want some help. And given the fact that Colonel Nutbag has blown up airliners and killed American soliders in his time, I'm flabbergasted why we aren't jumping at the chance to get rid of him. Colonel Nutbag is a certifiable loon who will do who knows what to these rebels should, God forbid, he actually manage to grind them down and reclaim his country. It will, undoubtedly be a massacre. And if we stand by and do nothing we will be party to what will essentially amount to genocide.

That is totally unacceptable. International cooperation is always good in situations like these, but 'waiting for a UN resolution' isn't going to cut it. We all know that relying on the Security Council is code for 'we want to talk and condemn this douchebag as much as possible without actually doing anything.' Russia has pretty much made it clear they will veto any resolution and if by some crazy happenstance they don't then China probably will. The British and the French (and I'm sure the Italians, who aren't crazy about the thought of refugees pouring into Sicilly) seem interested in a no fly zone. So does the Arab League and even the African Union has made noises in that direction. Sit down with the EU. See what the Arab League and the African Union think and then slap that sucker into place. Popular Mechanics even made a point that sustained air strikes would probably do just as well, because if you destroy Colonel Nutbag's air force then it levels the playing field some and the Libyan Rebels- well, I think I'm going to start calling them the Libyan people, will actually have a fair fight on their hands.

And if, should the Waffler-In-Chief actually decide to get serious about doing something, he finds that the flirtations of the rest of the world amount to little more than cheap words and idle talk while Libya burns, then yes, the United States should stand alone. We should shake loose the rusted barnacles of Cold War realism from our foreign policy establishment and come down firmly on the side of self-determination, liberty, human rights and democracy. (OK, so that's like five sides. So as a nation, we do a lot of yoga. We're flexible.)

Should even that be beyond the courage of this Administration, then send band-aids and ammo. Lots of ammo. If we apparently lack the courage to make strong decisions and come down on the side of what's right, then the bare minimum would be at least something. And at this point, kids, the bare minimum would be a big step in the right direction.

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