This makes me incredibly sad, but Quaker Oats has announced that it is no longer going to market Cap'n Crunch directly to children. This effectively marks the end for the veteran of the froth Sea of Milk that filled cereals bowls of children across this country. No more will Horatio Magellan Crunch and his trusty crew of children do battle with the Barefoot Pirate Jean Lafoote and fend off the evil Soggies that threatened to undo the stability of that wonderful cereal with every passing minute.
Yes, kids, an icon of my childhood is sailing into obscurity. I was a fan and will remain a devoted fan- CrunchBerries, Peanut Butter Crunch and yea, verily even the man himself Cap'n Crunch were all staples of my breakfast as a child and undoubtedly Stoners everywhere will mourn the loss of one of their staple foods.
However, for Eastern Iowans (and Cedar Rapidians especially should smile) there's a potential upside to all of this: if the Cap'n will no longer be around to make it happen, then there's the distinct possibility that Cedar Rapids might, just maybe, smell just a tiny bit better than it does right now.
I think Walt Whitman alone can do this sad event justice...
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