So, true to my word, I've laid off politics for about a month now. Partially that's because I wanted the obituaries and finger pointing to reach a critical mass to see if anything useful was being said (at least on the Republican side) and partially it was just out of sheer exhaustion more than anything else. This was an unpleasant election. It was like a headache that wouldn't go away and once it was done, it was like the beautiful moment when the Excedrin kicks in and you suddenly remember what it's like to have a head that's not pounding in pain.
But now enough time has passed. Enough gratuitous photos of Mittens, hair askew, vacant look in his eyes have attracted enough liberal snark that's its reached a critical mass and is starting to die out now.
So what's a Republican to do? Well, don't panic. Obituaries have been written of political parties before and while Democrats may be showering in champagne and passing the caviar, there are more Republican Governors than ever before and more Republicans in control of state legislatures than ever before. You're down but far from being out.
But that's not to say that you don't have problems. St. Reagan's Coalition was brilliant- but it's starting to fray around the edges and while I don't think you should douse it in gasoline and light a match there are some things worth considering:
1. Mittens wasn't a bad candidate. It's just that your bench wasn't very deep. When Mitch Daniels and Haley Barbour took a pass that was bad enough but when Rick Perry forgot his name on national television (or whatever he did) and Tim Pawlenty inexplicably decided that the Ames Straw Poll actually meant something you were left with Snow White, Six Dwarves, Herman Cain and Mittens. Who had very nice hair, was super-rich and from Massachusetts. You essentially nominated John Kerry. You shouldn't be surprised when you got a similar result.
2. You're going to have to get some fresh thinking on social issues. I'm not saying you should put on a sequined G-String and start leading your local gay pride parades but there is just no reasonable argument against gay marriage. None whatsoever. And when Republicans get caught saying that 'this will lead to people marrying their sisters and/or farm animals and pets' you look crazy at best and intolerant at worst. Time was the Republican Party was all about married people- get behind gay marriage. More married people can potentially be good for Republicans but only if you let them get married to begin with.
And stop talking about contraception. Seriously. If gay marriage motivated Dubya voters in 2004, contraception motivated Obama voters in 2012. Abortion you've got some ground to stand on with a lot of people but if you're going to believe that abortion is a 'genocide of the unborn' then you've got a moral obligation to use every thing you can to combat that problem. That includes birth control- which should be cheap and available over the counter in a variety of eye catching flavors. Family planning=family values=moral responsibility.
3. You talk a good talk on federalism. How about walking a good walk? Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana. You should get behind legislation to give them exemptions to the Controlled Substances Act.
4. Replace ideology with pragmatism. Ideology and principles are both wonderful things. Neither matter a damn if you don't win. (Don't believe me? Ann Coulter of all people sort of says the same thing.)
5. Play smart on taxes not dumb. The Democrats will happily send us all over the cliff, Thelma and Louise Style. Why are you fighting for tax cuts for the super wealthy? And don't give me any guff about small businesses. It'd be nice if Republicans spent more time defending capitalism and less time defending corporatism for once.
So there you go Republicans. Do some of these things and you'll become a lot more tolerable (at least to me) and might win an election or two. Do all of these things and rebrand yourself a bit and put a decent candidate up and I'll give you the serious consideration you deserve.
It'd be nice if you could stop whining about the 'media' or 'the culture.' It's neither of those things. You've gotten away from what drove your success in the first place and that was that the American people, despite how irritating you could be sometimes basically trusted you to be tighter with the money than the Democrats. After Dubya, I'm not sure they feel that way anymore. You've gotten away sensible governing and the Tea Party has both helped and hindered getting you back there. So there are things that you could do to get back there...
Unfortunately, I think you'll probably do none of these things. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that in 2016, you probably won't be running a white dude as your candidate for President. (I expect Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal know this as well.) But a wise man once said that a week is a long time in politics... and what goes down usually comes right back up again- especially if you drink a lot of tequila the night before.
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