Tonight, The Quiet Man and I ventured out to The Vine in Coralville. If memory serves, President Clinton ate here prior to an appearance at Carver Hawkeye Arena sometime in 1998.
That's about the extent of it really. For sure, The Vine has the best wings in Johnson County. Period. No one else comes close- and I didn't even need to order some to remind myself of just how good they are. (The Quiet Man even agreed with me on that score- presumably a fond memory of his pre-vegetarian days.)
Yet, the Coralville edition of The Vine was curiously underwhelming. Maybe it was because it was a Sunday night and the place was empty except for a broken hearted Bears fan (Jesus is still Tebow's home skillet, y'all) at the bar and one, lone, Cowboys fanatic watching as the Cowboys battled back and forth with the Giants. (Which they lost 37-34- Bahahahahaha!) This was a game, by the way, that started with Tony Romo conceding a safety by falling on his ass in the endzone. It was kind of all downhill from there for the Cowboys. Sort of. Either way, the Cowboys lost and this makes me happy inside because there's just something about diehard fans of the Dallas Cowboys that kind of sets my teeth on edge sometimes. And if they're 'America's Team' then America needs help. Fast.
But The Quiet Man and I found a booth and I got a stein of the in-house Vine Ale. I wasn't really sure what kind of beer it was (and neither was The Quiet Man who, as he was driving settled for a pint). For all I know, it could have been Killian's Red- but whatever it was, it wasn't drowning in hops and it wasn't full of weird-ass flavors and it went down smoooooooooooth. So props for good wings and good in-house ale, Coralville Vine. But aside from that...
I'm sorry: the high ceilings just freaked me right out. They were freakin' high. Like high as in 'Mr. Architect, have you been smoking dope on the job?' high and gave the vague, beer soaked impression of cathedral ceilings. Cathedral ceilings with industrial ductwork painted forest green and more Iowa Hawkeye banners than you can shake a stick it. I honestly began to wonder if someone from this establishment had jimmied the door to Carver Hawkeye Arena during construction in the off season and knicked all the banners. Because that was the vibe I was getting. I felt like a very small individual in a very tall room. It was like they designed it with Manute Bol and Gheorghe Muresan in mind. (Yes, that's right. I dropped a Gheorge Muresan reference into this review. Bask in the awesomeness of it- or if you're too young to remember Muresan, check Wikipedia.) It made the entire place feel very, very un-intimate. And that bothered me.
Call me a purist, but I like LOW ceilings in bars. I think it grounds a watering hole a little bit and generally make a place feel more friendly and more comfortable. I don't want to feel like I'm drinking in Carver Hawkeye Arena. (Come on, Coralville Vine: these days most people LEAVE the arena and then go home and drink. Unless they're Women's Basketball or Wrestling fans.)
It was odd- but I give the Coralville Vine props- I did like their bar. Granted it was probably made in 1998 as the sign above grandly proclaimed but the fact is after the flood of 2008 for it to be here at all is pretty impressive- so mad props to them for that. And I do like the whole 'polished wood and mirrors' look when it comes to bars. Call me crazy, but that's what I dig.
The sum of the experience was The Quiet Man and recalling just how shitty the Coralville Strip used to look. Back in the day, you had to actually drive into real live parts of Johnson County for more than 2 minutes to get to North Liberty and the only reasons you had for coming to the Strip were the Coral Fruit Market, Coral IV Theaters or, of course, Shakey's (closed, as Father Cigar vouchsafed to us in the Familia Cigar repeatedly- because they were caught using dog food on their sausage pizza instead of you know, actual sausage. Though that's probably a load of crap. But if it was it had just enough truth to it to make you wonder.)
Overall: The high ceilings freaked me right out- but their in-house beer was good and they do have the Best Wings Around. However, I gotta say that I vastly prefer the Iowa City Edition of The Vine to it's Coralville counterpart- whether Bill Clinton ate here or not we've got to go with a solid ** out of **** which would give us a grade of C.
P.S. No, we didn't take pictures. Just wasn't worth it, really.
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