This personal goal of mine will be something of a work in progress. After all, it's not like I have the cash just to up and leave and go off and get this done all at once. No, it'll take a bit of work and I'm fine with that. As for my personal definition of what 'visit' entails, I go with the loosest possible one I could come up with: if I'm physically in any given state, that counts. Even if it's only for a minute or so. So without further ado...
Florida
I'd like to go back to Florida- only next time, it's going to be somewhere with a beach and somewhere that's not Orlando. Nothing against Orlando- it's the lightning capitol of the United States and to be sure, there was some spectacular lightning on hand, but as a city, it's a lot like your drunk, slightly slutty college friend. Don't roll your eyes- you know the one I mean. Everyone has one- male or female, the friend you love to death and can have all kinds of fun with- whether it's rated G, PG, PG-13 or even R- but there are always those nights when you go out and have so much fun that you spend waaaaaay too much money and wake up the next morning, stumble out into your living room and find them sprawled out on your living room floor wearing nothing but a tube sock and you get to remember exactly what you did with all those drinking straws and all that jello the night before.
Yeah, that's pretty much Orlando in a nutshell. It's expensive, inconvinient, but if you're willing to find a happy, zen-like place where you can live with that- or at least stave off road rage until you reach a very tall, very alcoholic drink you can have a lot of fun there.
I'd like to have a long talk with everyone south of the Mason-Dixon line. Seriously now- maybe it's just a Texas and a Central Florida thing, but y'all need to do something about your urban sprawl. It took FOREVER to get ANYWHERE in Orlando- everything was always miles away from where you were, so that means a lot of driving and since it's summer, everyone and their mother was also driving- usually to DisneyWorld- but it made traffic a constant nightmare.
And then there's the titanic House of Mouse itself: what a soul-sucking money pit the place must be. Just going near the place convinced me of two things: first I'm going to do my utmost to convince my children that non-Disney cartoons are WAY cooler than Disney cartoons. (Future children, remember: Balto? Rover Dangerfield? All Dogs Go To Heaven? Land Before Time? WAY better...) And secondly, when I lose that battle, I'm going to have to knock over a bank just to afford the place. I shudder to think what your average family of four would pay- just in admission! That doesn't include the hassle of hotels, airfare and food... Disney may well be where all your dreams come true, but I wasn't aware my dreams were so damn expensive...
Aside from the not-at-all small inconviniences of Orlando, there's a lot more to Florida- some of which I actually liked: the heat was wonderful. It wasn't a dry, desert heat but it wasn't an oppressive Midwestern heat either- it was the perfect balance between the two. Hot, but not scorchingly so. Humid, but not swimmingly so and everything seems to be drenched in that sun-dappled white tropical glow that was extremely pleasant. But the place is also flatter than a pancake. Upon further reflection, i guess that makes sense- after all, the state is essentially a series of swaps with dry land flung about where Mother Nature felt like it- but the lack of topography bothered me. It was disconcerting to not be able to see where you were going at all- to not have even the hint of a hill. I thought Nebraska was the flattest place I'd ever been. But I was wrong...
What I loved most about the place though, was the hints of the glorious melange of Latin and Carribbean flavor which seemed to lurk off to the south. There was Cuban food, Dominican food- all kinds of food you would pass and whether as Brazil continues to emerge as an economic power, we're going to see more and more Brazilian influences and food sneaking into our frontier states, it was amazing how much Portuguese I heard around the place. Beautiful, musical Portuguese! Little bubbles of joy like champagne popping up everywhere. As a state, it seems like it's more of a bridge to Latin America and countries south of us than other border states like Texas are and that gives Florida a completely different flavor than any other state I've been too.
Time to brush up on my Spanish and my Portuguese- take a few salsa classes then I think I'll have to take my talents to South Beach and really experience the Sunshine State.
By my count Florida is state #33 visited- I think I might have been overly generous in prior counts and included Maine, but as I honestly don't remember going to Maine and lack photographic proof to the contrary, reluctantly, I'll have to count them out. But 33 down, 17 to go!
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