Thursday, October 10, 2013

Hail To The R******s?

The latest brouhaha over the Washington Redskins name continues.  Dan Patrick spent a good chunk of his first hour on it this morning, Rick Reilly has had a column supporting the name (in which his father in law was his main source and who has today come out and said he was misquoted), Dan Snyder- the owner of the Washington Redskins published an open letter to the world expressing his pride in the tradition and honor of the name and blah blah blah, etc, etc, etc.

Let's be perfectly clear here:  I am not Native American.  I don't think I know any Native Americans and even if I did, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable going to my newly discovered Native American friend to find out what Native Americans think about any given topic on any given day.  (Because, naturally, as Rick Reilly's column points out- they all know what each other thinks about any given topic on any given day.)  That said, I'm going to going out on a limb here and tentatively say that perhaps things like centuries of oppression, bone-crushing poverty, land rights, mining rights, treaty rights, pretty much any rights you can think of might just matter more to Native Americans than the name of a not-very-good football team.

I get mildly offended by the idea that we should do Native Americans a solid by changing this name because we wouldn't want to offend them.  Really?  Really?  That's going to make up for everything, of course-  you know what offends me?  The fact that so many Native Americans live in bone-crushing, pretty much Third World poverty and this is what America chooses to feel bad about.  The Redskins fans who cry about the P-C police and how great their name is miss the mark quite a bit but they're not wrong:  this is a huge amount of misplaced white guilt- and if we really want to help Native Americans, I think we can do better things than this.  (Like may be giving large amounts of their land back, perhaps?)

But ok, fine, let's say for the sake of argument that we're going to go ahead and have this discussion.  Should the name be changed? 

Well, if you're going to change the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards because of well, murder*, then I don't think there are many compelling arguments to keep the Redskins name.  Unlike the NCAA, whose convoluted double-standard of a policy still annoys me (either they're all offensive or none of them are.  You can't have your cake and eat it too...) the NFL*** could be proactive on this- and while Reilly isn't wrong- there are probably still plenty of sports teams from high school to professional that have antiquated names like this, the fact remains, it's a name that belongs in another century- tradition be damned.

The Onion weighed in with what I consider to be the most likely name change scenario, given Dan Snyder's fierce resistance to the idea- but it was Buzzfeed that came up with something better.  I've seen enough Redskins' games to have seen the obligatory screen shot of the Hoggettes or the Hog Pound or whatever the hell it's called and it's always confused me.  What the hell is the connection to a pig?  But it's a tradition- and one that could be easily spun into a new name for the team.  The Washington Hogs works on multiple levels:  I mean, have you seen that show about feral pigs in Texas?  Those bastards are mean.   Plus, with all the politicians slobbering over Washington's pork barrel buffet on Capitol Hill it works on a satirical level as well.

Problem is, even if you change the name, you don't solve that many problems.  I seem to remember sometime back in the 90s there was controversy over the Atlanta Braves.  And I bet the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago Blackhawks will come under scrutiny as well...  which brings us back to the point I made about the NCAA- it's a good point and it applies here:  either all the names are offensive or none of them are.**   Professional sports should decide, same as the NCAA.

*I wonder how many people in Washington would support bringing back the Bullets if the Redskins changed their name the Wizards?

**This includes Florida State.  Yes, I know they had 'permission' but come on now- you take this much history and culture and reduce it to this?  That sort of depresses me- but what do I know?

***Fuck, I forgot about the Chiefs.  Well, they have it easier.  Just drop the 'I' and I doubt anyone will notice or care.

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