Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Magical Speculation Merry-Go-Round: March Edition

I keep doing my level best to avoid thinking about the oncoming storm of the next presidential campaign in 2016, however, it appears that I am fight a lonely, losing battle on that score.   Unless I chose to bury my head under a rock for the next year or so (or shit, maybe just wake me up when all of this is over and we've chosen a new President) it's impossible to avoid.  State races are shifting, rumors and speculation are abounding on the national level and CPAC is underway, so if you're a GOPer, this is like Shark Week for elasmobranchologists- a chance to look at the purported saviors of Team Red and see who can survive the expected destruction of Hurricane Hillary and Team Blue.  (There are rumors rumbling that Hillary's health problems are worse than expected and that she's not going to run. I'm going to chose to believe that when I hear it from her mouth, but it's an interesting hypothetical atom bomb that would upend the Democratic equation for 2016 in an instant.)

But, an interesting article caught my eye the other day on Politico.  It proclaimed 'Republicans Need A Champion In 2016'.   An accurate statement in my book.  The GOPers need to avoid the clown car catastrophe of 2012 and they need to find the right candidate to do it.  Moving the primary schedule around should help out some, but it's not a perfect cure for what ails Team Red, I don't think.

The article's premise seemed reasonable enough, but then it took a turn down crazy lane.  If the GOPers are forced to turn to a champion, their lonely eyes might turn to former Florida Governor (and I'm assuming the newly anointed one of the Bush Dynasty) Jeb Bush.   And at that point, I threw up in my mouth a little.   I, kids, have yet to decide if I'm 'Ready For Hillary' or not.  My biggest strike against her isn't her gender, it's that she's a Clinton.  And if elected that will mean that between 1989 and 2017, twenty years out of that twenty eight year period the Presidency of the United States will have been held by either a Bush or a Clinton.

That, kids, is a trend that should concern everyone- because if I'm handed a ballot with Bush versus Clinton in 2016, I don't know who I'm going to vote for, but I'm sure as shit not voting for either one of them just on general principle.  This is a democracy and in general, political dynasties make me queasy, but this is a trend that needs to end.  It's ridiculous that neither Team Blue nor Team Red can find no one else qualified to be President of the United States.  To be fair, Team Red has an ever-so-slightly deeper bench that Team Blue, but what pisses me off is that Team Blue has qualified women who can run (I think Gilibrand and Klobuchar could make some moves in the next few electoral cycles that could set them up very nicely for a run) all of whom get crowded out by, guess who?  Hillary.

I fought through the bile and nausea of the prospect of another Bush or another Clinton and kept reading, when another name was bubbled to the surface:  Ohio Senator Rob Portman.

It's an interesting name with some interesting policy positions for Team Red.   Senator Portman's son, Will, came out of the closet and his Dad had no problem standing by him and supporting him and doing so publicly- and if that wasn't brave enough, he also announced his support for same-sex marriage.   Portman has a great resume, it would be hard for Team Blue to trot out the usual attack lines about homophobia and sexism and racism (I mean, I'm sure they'd try, but how do you attack a guy that's onboard with marriage equality?)  It would be an excellent way for the GOPers to shed some baggage and make the election about policy instead of nonsense.

Problem is that I've seen loaves of Wonder Bread with more charisma than Rob Portman.  He is the whitest of white guys and name recognition is going to be a potential problem with the wider electorate.  But, a hypothetical Portman candidacy, paired with say Governor Susanna Martinez of New Mexico or Senator Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire could be an interesting GOPer ticket indeed.

In statewide news, Mittens resurfaced to throw an interesting curveball into the mess that is the GOPer Senate Race- he lent a hefty endorsement to State Senator Joni Ernst.   What effect this will have on the crowded field, I don't know- but GOPer predictions that this seat could be poachable seem less and less credible to me the longer this goes on, so if it does clear up the field some, I think it's only for the best from a GOPer point of view.  (There was some excitement in GOPer circles that they had gotten their act together in the Colorado Senate race- whether it means that seat is now up-for-grabs, I don't know, but they were certainly plenty excited about it- and anything that brings clarity to the crowded GOPer field in Iowa is only going to help get the rest of us voters a peek at what kind of race we're going to be having in November.)

My apologies if this comes across as somewhat GOPer-centric, at least from a Presidential point of view- but until Hillary makes it official, there's really little to no action on the side of Team Blue- and if she does make it official, well then there will be even less action on the side of Team Blue.  However, if she doesn't run- things will get very, very interesting indeed- and apparently, here are 8 Democrats who might run, per the Christian Science Monitor.  Read 'em and weep, kids!

Until next time, keep chomping down Tums and avoiding political ads on your televisions.  And in the immortal words of Dan Rather:  Courage!  It's only going to get worse from here.

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