Lots of Joy and Plenty of Fun

I stumbled across a review of Jennifer Senior's All Joy and No Fun on Slate.com a couple of weeks ago and to be honest, it sort of disturbed me.  I've been letting the topic percolate for awhile, but I really feel like I've got to speak up and throw my two cents in about this notion.

All joy and no fun?  Hmmmmm...  I'll admit that I'm not even a year into this parenting business yet, but I've had plenty of fun.  Suddenly it's socially acceptable to visit playgrounds and watch cartoons again!  You can play with super cool toys and not be judged for it!  What's not fun about that?  Don't get me wrong:  there are days and moments when I have stepped into the other room, closed all the doors and screamed at my ceiling for a good thirty seconds- but I can probably count those days on one hand.  And I know, I know- a 2 year old is probably a ton of fun- they only get more truculent and mouthier from here.

I understand several aspects of this discussion though.  I get the need to vent:  seems like a lot of the 'parentosphere' so to speak might appear to be parents bitching about how awful children can be sometimes but in reality a lot of that is just venting- and when you've got kids, the best people to vent at or too are other parents.  I have no problem with people deciding that kids aren't for them- they're not for everyone and they tend to be a little time consuming, so if people decide that they aren't their cup of tea, well, more power to 'em and bonus points for figuring that out before accidentally popping any out.

Personally, now that The Cigarillo has arrived, I can't really conceive of what life would be like without him.   I'm busier (but not necessarily more productive) and I have a ton and a half of fun and when he blows me a kiss and squeaks in that tiny voice of his 'da da da da?' when he knows I'm going to work- little moments like those are where the joy comes in and I hope I never stop finding those, because it's amazing.

Becoming a parent is a lot like going through a phase change in many respects:  you move from water to ice and the essentially core of you hasn't changed, you're still essentially the same.   There's a weird point in your mid-to-late 20s where you've graduated college and are starting your jobs and you're sort of in limbo.   You're not in college any more and you don't have kids and your friends are either stuck in college mode or are busy popping out babies like the dozen.   Friends are hard to come by, because again, your priorities are shifting so the idea of staying up until bar close and living through a hangover doesn't have the appeal it once did and you're not quite in the 'married friends' type of phase either.  Kids really do change everything and so far, it's not a bad change, it's just different.  And different may take some getting used to it, but it doesn't have to be bad unless you want it to be bad.

I think it depends on your mindset as well.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm been dispatching too long, because when it comes to dealing with a very, very active two year old, keeping the old 'dispatcher ear' open is a big help.  Expecting the unexpected and being prepared to deal with it and knowing my limits- all something I've had to learn how to do and do well in a professional setting these past years- I think it's helped ground me and it's made parenting seem a lot less scary than it should be.

I don't know:  maybe it's a little premature to be judging this whole parenting with less than a year under my belt, but so far I have had lots of joy and plenty of fun.