Late Night Chronicles 29: An Editorial

Should the UI Build A New Dorm? The headline in the DI was predictable and the point/counterpoint that followed was also sadly predictable- though I really didn't know what else I expected. This is the DI we're talking about here. (And while I'm here, what's with these Regents? I never remember them being this crazy-talking. First one wants to sell the Pollack and now one wants a new dorm and a tuition increase. Yummy!) But the debate about new dorms has been flaring up now and again for years now- usually on slow news days or, in this case, when Regent Robert Downer declared that the UI should build a new dorm, apropos of pretty much nothing.

I live in the dorms. Well, not literally- but every night when the students are tucked away safely in bed (or if it's a weekend, if they're puking in the halls, shitting and pissing in the halls and/or passing out in the halls) I'm checking every floor and rattling every door and looking in all the dark corners for things amiss- and I do so in every single dorm on campus. And I can say with certainty that Regent Downer's concerns are admirable- but ultimately misplaced.

What do I mean by that? Well- for a start, there are good dorms and there are bad dorms. There are dorms that are well designed and easy to check (Slater, Rienow) and then there are dorms that are horrifically bad design mazes, rabbit warrens of hell that I hate to check (Burge, I'm lookin' at you...) there are dorms out in the middle of nowhere (Mayflower that's you-) and dorms that are no longer dorms but, for reasons passing understanding used to be dorms- (Parklawn, which looks like the 1970s threw up all over it on the inside. Trust me on this.) We've got a good complement of dorms going- and they're pretty full.

Sure I can hear you say- we should build a new dorm and get students out of temp housing- they need the room. Well, maybe is what I say to that. There are always students in temp housing- there were when I was a freshman at Hillcrest and I think there always will be. What's a credit to the University Housing Services is that they get students in temp housing placed very, very quickly. One just has to go through Slater and Rienow to see that the numbers of students crammed into lounges has dropped dramatically.

We should build a new dorm because a new dorm would be shiny and new and a good recruiting tool. Um, what? (This contention came from Michael Dale-Stein in the DI yesterday) A new dorm would look good, but if students base their decision to come to Iowa on the quality of the dorm, then they're dumb and they shouldn't be coming here. College should be based on the quality of academics not whether or not you've got a swish new flashy dorm to go home to at the end of the day.

It'll break the apartment monopoly in Iowa City. No, it won't. If people honestly believe that a new dorm is going to break down the entrenched landlords in this City, they're on some seriously good drugs. And I want some. Landlords will always be powerful in this city, because once you're past your freshmen year, you usually don't want to stay in the dorms. I know I didn't-- and therein lies the real problem. If we're going to build a shiny new dorm, then you have to figure out a way to keep some sophomores and juniors in the dorms. The biggest customers of the residence halls are freshmen and after that, there's usually an exodus out to off-campus housing-- hence, the so-called apartment monopoly. Upper classmen just want to be out on their own.

Lest we forget, there's also the economic arguments to think of. Although University Housing is self-sustaining, these aren't exactly times of plenty for anyone. Should we be embarking on mad quests for new dorms that could cost up to $60 million? Even if the project would be self-sustaining over the course of the long term? At the present time, that doesn't strike me as the most responsible course of action.

So what should we do? Well, kids- I'm glad you asked, because I have a small proposal of my own to float. A new dorm would be overkill- but expanding and renovating an existing dorm might be in order. I don't know why, when everyone talks about new dorms, they always hate on Quadrangle, but they do-- personally, I find Quad to be a treat. It's older, sure- and it does need a makeover, but it's linear, it's a breeze to check and it's got a classy, historic feel that is lacking in a lot of other dorms. Plus- and here's the kicker- it's not actually a quandrangle anymore.

So why not restore the Quadrangle? Make Quad quandrangular again! The northeast chunk, where the Volleyball Courts are now was razed in the mid-70s because the University couldn't afford the upkeep and it was 'an insurance drain.' If there's a demand for more housing, expansion and renovation would seem to be a more fiscally responsible course of action than building a whole new building.

People may not know it, but Quad is actually one of the oldest dorms on campus- only parts of Currier are older and it's been a model for residence life since it was built in the 1920s. It was largely self-governing by the 20s and 30s and the residences had some of the highest GPAs on campus at the time. In other words- there's a lot of history there and if there's one thing we can fault ourselves for in this country, it's the lamentable tendency to look at an old, classy lookin' building and saying to ourselves 'It's old, let's rip it down and build a strip mall.'

Renovating and restoring Quad to it's former glory would solve everyone's problems. Increased capacity for the dorms- modernization for a dorm that sorely needs it. (And if the University can makeover the Old Music Building from it's former shitheap status into something the Psychology Department actually wants to move into, they can work their magic on Quad)-- and we'd be preserving one of the oldest buildings on campus. Even the medical campus, which seems to grow like some giant sea monster, exponentially with every passing year (Kinnick in 2050 will be surrounded by the UIHC. I'm totally calling it) managed to resist the urge to rip down the original hospital tower- and the Gothic Tower hidden away amongst the modern skyline of the West Campus is a little bit of randomness that reminds us all of how far we've come and just where we've been.

Gordon Brown IS burnin' down...

This is a ways off yet, but predictions of doom for the Labour Party in the UK are everywhere. They're in 3rd Place in the Polls for the first time since 1982 and although the election's a ways off, it's still not good news.

Don't see how they could survive but I'm not convinced the Tories are quite ready for prime time yet, but they could prove me wrong. David Cameron hasn't been a complete idiot.

So stay tuned!

Chicago 2016

First Lady Michelle Obama has arrived in Copenhagen ahead of the IOC vote Friday on which city to award the 2016 Summer Games too--- she's stumping hard for the Windy City and the President is heading out there tomorrow.

Madrid, Tokyo and Rio De Janeiro are in the mix, though word on NPR this morning was that Madrid and Tokyo are fading and it's fast becoming a Rio De Janeiro vs. Chicago rope-a-dope for the title.

I think it'd be fab for Chicago to get the games in 2016. The location would be beautiful and if they put together the right kind of bid, it could really put the Windy City and by extension, the Midwest on the map. So I'm hoping they get it.

Rio could be an interesting choice, but there would be security concerns there- how many I'm not sure, but I think, as FIFA's doing this continent rotating thing for the World Cup now that Brazil could get a consolation prize with hosting the World Cup sometime soon, but I'm not totally sure on that.

Either way, exciting! Go Chicago, Go!

Piss On That, Part IV

Are these people trying to script a telenovela? Seriously now! I can totally sell this to Univision-- [insert deep basso profoundo voice] Este Sabado! Amor! Guerra! Presidentes! Muerte! Traícion! Todos en... HONDURAS!

It'd totally rock, right?

Anyway-- the latest: 50 Zelaya supporters were arrested in a pre-dawn raid carried out under a new controversial (gasp!) law that suspended (at least temporarily) civil liberties. The Interim Government has indicated that it could be lifted soon (there are elections set for November 29th) and the head of the Armed Forces has urged a negotiated settlement to the crisis (read: we don't want none your silly civilian mess) and Congress has said if President Micheletti doesn't repeal his decree suspending civil liberties they will.

So despite a pretty dumb move it seems that common sense is still stalking the halls of government in Tegucigalpa. Tune in soon for more, because I'm sure something else crazy is gonna happen. Oh and for your viewing pleasure:



The man himself, Zelaya. Despite my distaste for this certified card-carrying member of the Latin American Loony Left, I have to admit: that's one kick-ass shitkicker of a hat.

King, President Meet

The President of Uganda and the King of the Baganda Kingdom within Uganda have met behind closed doors to discuss recent violence between the king's supporters and government forces which prevented him from making a visit to a neighboring district that claimed to have 'seceded from the Kingdom.'

Hold the phone. There are Kingdoms and Kings in Uganda? What? Totally did not know this, but apparently, the traditional Kingdoms were banned in 1966 and reinstated in 1993- so there are provinces and states and then there are kingdoms and King Ronald Mutebi is King of the Baganda People, the largest Ethnic Group in Uganda.

Supposedly the Prez and the King won't be talking politics as the King is 'a cultural leader and not a political one' but I don't see how they'll avoid it.

Guilty Pleasure Wednesdays #1

Well, welcome to the last of the trifecta of recurring features I'll be playing with here at the Cigar. Guilty Pleasure Wednesdays was conceived in my head sort of as an homage for all the unhealthy, odd or just plain weird things that I enjoy. It'll be a stretch, I think to come up with one every week for a whole year- but that's my goal!--ed.

thisiswhyyourefat.com No, seriously- go type it in and then spend a good half-hour see-sawing back and forth between hunger and nausea. If you were looking for a reason why we have an obesity crisis in this country, the answer will be found between the folds of this website which features some ungodly culinary creations that are, apparently, real.

The picture above is as follows: Chocolate Bacon Pogo On A Stick-- Bacon wrapped in angel food cake, battered and deep fried, dipped in chocolate and served on a stick. If you just threw up a little in your mouth, that's cool- or if you thought that might actually be worth trying, that's even cooler. I guess that's what this whole website is about.

I personally enjoy perusing this website, just to see what crazy shit shows up on it next. In months past I would have never even considered making, much less eating any one of these concoctions, but after sampling not one- but two (on different occasions) deep fried Snickers Bars this summer, I begin to wonder if I might change my mind. There is something endearing about the lengths people will go to coat pretty much anything in batter and grease to make it, oddly enough, taste better. If you've never attempted a deep fried Snickers Bar- I can heartily recommend it. The frying process melts most of the chocolate, so your first mouthful is melted chocolate followed by the nougat, caramel and nuts.

It sits on your stomach like a lead bowling ball, but it's totally worth it- in small amounts, with the necessary fasting beforehand.

So I give a solid thumbs up to this website, with its gloriously mad creations-- it's just one of the many guilty pleasures that I have and continue to enjoy.

Piss On That, Part III

...the drama continues!

In a random act of common sense, the US Ambassador to the OAS has revealed that Washington had urged Former President Zelaya not to return to Honduras because of the potential unrest it would cause. Zelaya, being the charming fellow he is, ignored them. The Ambassador branded his actions 'irresponsible and foolish.'

Oh snap.

But wait, it gets better- here's the money quote:

"The return of Zelaya [without] an agreement is irresponsible and foolish. He should cease and desist from making wild allegations and from acting as though he were starring in an old movie," said Mr Amselem at an emergency meeting of the OAS.

Oh SNAP! In further news- Honduras has also responded to Brazil's rather churlish rejection of their earlier request/ultimatum (see earlier posting) with a fierce snap of their fingers and a heartily bellowed 'Oh HELL no!' Warning Brazil that they had 10 days to turn Zelaya over or grant him asylum and take him back to Brazil with them or Honduras would be forced to revoke their diplomatic credentials and shut down their embassy.

The plot thickens. Dum-dum-DUM!

Chickens On The Loose!

...so a bunch of chickens were let loose at random locations throughout Iowa City today. True story. No one seems to know whether or not it was a. a high school prank (it's City High's homecoming this week) or b. a political statement protesting the potential ordinance allowing chickens to be raised within city limits.

Option A wouldn't surprise me overly much- but option B? What's that supposed to say? That if people get to raise chickens within city limits that they'll run amuck all over town? I don't get it...

But it's interesting.

Piss On That, Part II

Honduras would like Brazil to figure out something to do with former President Manuel Zelaya, currently chillin' in the Brazilian Embassy in Tegucigalpa. Brazil has pretty much told them to bend over, so they can show Honduras where to stick their request/ultimatum.

Money quote of this latest act in the Honduran drama comes from Brazilian President Lula DaSilva:

Speaking at a South America-Africa summit in Venezuela, President Lula demanded an apology from interim leader Roberto Micheletti for the demand.

"Brazil will not comply with an ultimatum from a government of coup mongers," he said.

And of course, Zelaya can't shut his mouth- he's gotta say something wacky- namely this:

Mr Zelaya has accused the interim government of violating the rights of those inside the embassy by pumping toxic gas into the building.

Again, people are getting this totally wrong. The military enacted a court order and went back to its barracks, turning power over to an interim government. NOT A COUP. Maybe an action of questionable legality- perhaps, but- let me spell this out for people AGAIN. NOT. A. COUP.

If Zelaya and all his leftist friends were smart, they would lawyer up and take the interim government to court.

But they ain't. So, I expect the drama will continue.

Das Vöte

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has won re-election handily- and more to the point, it's looking like she (and her party, the CDU) have won enough of the vote (around 33%) to ditch the 'Grand Coalition' they had going with the center-left Social Democrats and form an all center-right coalition with the pro-reform Free Democrats.

Final results are should be starting to come in during the next few hours, but exit polls in Germany are apparently considered reliable and they're calling the vote breakdown as followed:

The Right...
CDU/CSU: 33.4%
FDP: 14.8%
Total: 48.2%

The Left...
SDP: 22.7%
Left: 12.5%
Greens: 10.6%
Total: 45.8%

Other: 6.0%

I'm not really plugged in to German politics enough to say for certain what this means, but should these results hold up (pretty sure they will) then Chancellor Merkel will be able to ditch the awkward 'Grand Coalition' (where all parties are in government together, awkwardly...) and actually get some room to run and do stuff without worrying about her coalition flying apart on her. The Free Democrats seem game for Reform and the voters seem to want a steady hand at the helm- and Merkel is not flash or fireworks- in fact, if there is a word that comes to mind when I think of the Chancellor-- it's steady.

And in times of crisis, 'steady' could be just what the doctor ordered.

Oh and hey- since I don't know what's up with German politics, take the words of people who do- or probably have a better idea than me. Check 'em here.

Roman Polanski Arrested

The Swiss have arrested noted film director Roman Polanski on an extradition request from the US to face possible charges of having sex with a 13 year old girl in 1977. At the time, Polanski was charged and the skipped the country to France, which doesn't extradite people to us, for some reason- and he's been there ever since.

Until now.

Good job, Switzerland, I guess. 'Bout time someone brought this guy back to face justice- but doesn't it fly in the face of their legendary neutrality?

70 Years Young!

My high school turns 70 this year! Most people wouldn't really care too much about that, but I do. Not only is my alma mater a pretty classy lookin' joint, but to be honest, in retrospect, I was lucky to go there and I'm glad I did. I wound my way through the status obsessed, rich-kid playground that was the local Catholic school and never really fit in. Coming to City High School was like a breath of fresh air that let me eventually find a little corner where I could, if not fit comfortably, then certainly be accepted. And that meant a lot to me at the time- and still does.

City High's motto is 'the School that leads' and the passion of pretty much every single teacher I had in high school is part of what's motivating me to make teaching my full time career. These were and remain dedicated and incredibly talented educators and even though the school is getting a lot of flak in the local press lately for 'fights and other 'undesirable' elements' I'd send my kids there hands down over West High any damn day of the week. It's a grounded, excellent learning environment and there are more opportunities than you can imagine to do whatever you can imagine doing there.

If I had pushed myself a little harder in high school, I could have gotten more out of CHS than I did. But Happy Birthday to the Old Stompin' Grounds! Lookin' good at 70 years young...



A shot of the infamous C-Wing-- one of the many new additions to the original building of CHS. It's infamous because the architects made the hallway the minimum distance wide that was mandated by the state, lined the entire length of it with lockers and stuck ten classrooms down there. Now imagine ten classrooms emptying out and pretty much all and sundry trying to get to their lockers at the same time. There was a reason the Social Studies Teachers like to mockingly refer to it as 'Charlie Sector' an off-color reference to Checkpoint Charlie at the Berlin Wall.



This is the second floor window that leads onto the roof of Opstad Auditorium. I got busted sneaking out here with one of my buddies one night during paste-up for the paper- it was my only real brush with authority in high school and as the Principal was telling the Secret Service just how secure the roof of the school actually was as we blithely strolled across it (this was ahead of a Gore Campaign Event in 2000 that NONE of us got to go too... loser) it was quite the brush! Funnily enough, I don't think I've ever seen this window open since.



This is Newslab, where the excellent City High newspaper, The Little Hawk is produced. I was fortunate enough to hang out/waste time/be a cub reporter in this very room when I was a student at CHS. Lots of memories and fun times!

A Day At the Orchard

So it was beautiful today, so the Missus and I went out to Wilson's Orchard north of town to pick some apples and just generally check the place out. I have to confess, I've been an I.C. native all my life, have driven past this place a million times and been fully aware of its existence and just never realized how big the place really is. Or just how many apples one can get. We walked away with apple butter, apple cider, apples and a few pumpkins- Ali's going to decorate one pumpkin for each of the pets- so we got two bigger ones for the dogs and two little ones for the kitties...



Either way, the day was beautiful...

Double Shot of Science

1. Science fiction to become science fact? To this, I can only say one thing: Sweet!

2. They might have found a lot of water on the moon. Which is good news for space colonization, should we actually get off the surface of the planet and go somewhere anytime soon.

Bonus Shot: I know a lot of people who wonder about the general usefulness of space exploration, given the amount of poverty and crap we have going here on Earth-- the old argument being 'if we can put a man on the moon, why can't we find everyone on Earth?' To me, however- it's a no-brainer. Humanity is bound to screw up something, sometime and the survival of the species is contingent upon us establishing our presence elsewhere in the solar system. If we want to survive 2012/Armageddon/Space Disaster/Nuclear War we need to get out there.

The Aftertaste: Russia wants the shuttle to keep flying. Eeek. No, Russia, no! Bad idea- we here in the United States are not as gifted as you at keeping tin cans operational for use in space. You kept the Mir up there way past its sell by date and while we spent million developing a pen to write in zero g, y'all just used a pencil. From the point of view of technical records, I'd say: bad idea.

No Dance For Des Moines

The NCAA has passed on Des Moines as a first and second round site for the Men's Basketball Tournament in 2011, '12 and '13. DM Register Columnist Sean Keeler speculates as to why, here.

Some highlights that jumped out at me:

This from the director of women's basketball operations at Florida State:

"I think the one drawback for us was, we were there for five days and we had a hard time finding something to do in terms of entertaining our team."

Having spent a good four hours in downtown Des Moines a couple of weeks ago, I would have to agree with this. From what I've seen of Des Moines, I actually kind of like the place and wouldn't hate the concept of teaching/living there at some point in the future. Ali and I went up in May for a friends' graduation from Drake and the place seemed to look a lot nicer than I remember it. But downtown Des Moines? Not to be a hater, but finding a place to eat was a bitch. Finding a store of any kind to actually browse through was also a challenge. Maybe I don't know enough about downtown Des Moines and where they hide everything.

The executive director of the Greater Des Moines Convention and Visitor's Bureau countered with this:

"But I've got to say, one thing that we always sell Des Moines with is our skywalk system. There again, I think anybody that's really experienced Des Moines, especially during business hours, is going to see we do have a very lively and vibrant downtown area."

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! OK, the skywalk system was very impressive, I'll give it that- but I was there on a Friday afternoon during business hours and the Missus and I had a helluva time finding a restaurant and there was literally no one around. Once you actually started walking on the sidewalks and looking for something, it was like a scene out of 'Vanilla Sky' just cars, no people anywhere. The skyway system may be fantastic during the winter, but in warmer weather it makes downtown Des Moines look positively dead, because everyone's inside using the skyway. (Or Skywalk, whatever you want to call it.)

I think Des Moines could be a very attractive venue for something like the Big Dance. But they've got spread their dining out from a cluster we discovered near 4th Street and actually put some more shit downtown. At least where it's obvious to the untrained visitor's eye- because if there is stuff to do in Downtown Des Moines, I myself had one heckuva time finding it.

Hooch, Man #1

I am terribly pleased to introduce another recurring feature here at the Cigar- namely 'Hooch, Man' a celebration of all thing alcohol-related. Today's feature focuses on my personal poison of choice, whiskey- but future features might focus on local bars, beers, wines or especially delicious cocktails I come across.

I suppose it was my Grandad who got me into whiskey seriously. I never really had an appreciation for the stuff- but after he died, I picked up a bottle of 16-year old Lagavulin and drained a dram in his memory and after that, I was hooked. Learning about the different tastes that come from different regions- the methods of tasting whiskey, sniffing it and generally sipping on what is genuinely delicious stuff pretty much most of the time.

To warn everyone: I don't really do blended scotch- at least not yet. I did try some Johnnie Walker Red way, way back in the day but it was stolen before I really had a chance to sample it extensively. But single malts are my one true vice- hence why I only usually go through about two a year, if that... they're good for the very good days and the very bad days, for the victories and the defeats. And if I can always have a good bottle of scotch laying around, then my vice will be forever satisfied.

The current bottle I'm working through is a very nice bottle of Glenmorangie, The Quinta Ruban- the tasting broke down this way:

Glenmorangie
Quinta Ruban: Port Cask, Extra Matured

Color: Amber
Brightness: A dark, golden level of brightness- deep is what I would call it.
Legs: The legs usually refer to the slick that emerges on the sides of the glass when you swirl the liquid in the glass- the slower the legs move, the higher the viscosity and alcohol content- and the legs for the Quinta Ruban seem to be long indeed.

Smell: Sweet- honey, cherries and maybe a hint of chocolate. You can smell the port.
Taste: Smooth. That's the only way to describe this one. It sits very nicely on the tongue and goes down so smooth.

Aftertaste: Warm- but not harsh, like the Lagavulin was. I read later that a lot of Islay Malts use peat in the distillation process, which is what gives the Islay Malts their smokey flavor.

Food Combiations (from Glenmorangie.com): Venison, chocolate, nuts and beetroot AND duck with orange, chocolate and rose petals.

My Verdict: Damn Good Stuff. If you're just dipping your toes into the pool of whiskey-tasting, this would be a good one to start out with. It's smooth and goes down very nicely and the aromas are beautiful and the taste is excellent.

Late Night Chronicles 28: Suck It, Corso

I'm worried. It could be possible that I'm turning into a genuine, beer drinking, farting, belching, prototypical specimen of a football fan. I don't know what it is about this season that makes it different from previous seasons, but it seems like I'm just drowning in football all of a sudden. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or nothin'- but you would imagine after working, say, twelve hours of overtime at the Arizona game the other week that, once home, watching more football would be the last thing on anyone's mind. Yet I did exactly that- cursing the Utes' loss and wishing BYU wouldn't have lost and idly hoping Texas Tech could fuck up another Big 12 National Title Prospect. Alas, it wasn't a good Saturday for me- yet the Vikings won, so Sunday turned out AOK.

Anyway, I seem to be eating, drinking, wallowing in football these days, so I'm going to venture forth into the realms of sports commentary (a LNC first, by the way- you lucky readers, you!) and break down the college football season thus far as I see it. Am I an expert in any way, shape or form on this stuff? Not in the slightest. I just watch it-- but am I gonna get through this without putting on a goofy looking mascot's head. Damn straight I am.

So without further ado:

The BCS: This year's tiresome debate has yet to really begin. Should Boise State, TCU or Houston- or hopefully all 3 pull of undefeated seasons, I'd imagine it will get especially shrill. Proponents of the current system say that a playoff just won't work in college football- that's great and awesome, except that one just has to look at the FCS (Football Championship Series) to see that it, in fact, does work. I understand that there's a lot of history to the Bowl System and that's fine- so why not just take the Elite 8 at the end of the season have them play their way into whichever Bowl is hosting the national title that year? Everyone else gets their Bowl System, the sports elites and coaches can weigh in by taking into account whatever it is they take into account with these polls and college football gets, in my mind, a little more exciting. Call me crazy- but I think that would be fun to watch. (I haven't seen much of TCU or Houston, but Boise State is doin' their thing. Go Broncos!)

Iowa: Not bad, not bad- but things get a lot tougher from here on in. The victories at Iowa State and against UNI can be explained by the fact that Iowa State is worse than people think and UNI is a lot better than people think. The win against Arizona was purely on the backs of the defense, who played brilliantly. My concern remains the inconsistency of our offense. We can usually get pretty decent offense going by about the second half, if not the second quarter, it seems- however, against opponents like we've had, that's fine- against Penn State, if we don't play grade A, balls out football on both sides of the ball for the full 60 minutes, we're toast. Speaking of Penn State- I think it'll be tough, but not impossible, because I don't think we really have a good measure of Penn State yet. Playing people like Akron and Temple does not impress me and in my mind doesn't earn you a #5 ranking in the polls. Win or lose tomorrow, I hope we can walk out of Happy Valley secure in the knowledge that we made Penn State work for every yard and score they get. Then they might actually deserve to be #5 in the country.

Welcome To Reality: The Pac-10 might be getting tougher. I remember back in the day, the Pac-10 used to give us fits. Iowa kept going to the Rose Bowl and losing to Washington- I think the first time I remember beating them was in the Sun Bowl towards the end of Hayden Fry's tenure. But the Pac-10 has never impressed me very much- the joke with the Big Ten was that it was the Big 2 and the little 8. Or 9, rather... with the Pac-10 that seemed to be the Big 1 (USC) and the little 9. That appears to be changing. Granted, USC loses to someone random without fail, every season- but Washington? Who went 0-12 last year? That was one heckuva game and gave notice to the Trojans that the they were no longer the untouchable immortals they once were. Given the fluidity of the USC quarterback situation-- and even if they settle with Barkley- his relative youth and lack of experience could be factors-- I'd say, with Oregon, Oregon State and Cal to get past, USC might not be able to cake-walk into a Rose Bowl this year. Hopefully Cal wins out.

The Big 10 could be interesting again. Last year, it was a totally free for all, which I loved- but this year-- Michigan appears to have found a QB that will give the rest of the conference nightmares for the next three years in Trent Forcier or whatever his name is. But I don't think they're quite there yet. Notre Dame isn't quite there yet either, which is why they lost that game- a couple of years could see Michigan and the Irish back on their A-games. Ohio State and Penn State have yet to really impress me. Penn State appears to have slept through a cupcake non-conference schedule and Ohio State can't even get the job done against USC at home which really pissed me off. By rights, that should have dropped them clear off the polls, but it didn't. Dammit. I have a feeling that it's gonna be Penn State at the top with a free for all below that. Ohio State should have its hands full with pretty much everyone else in the conference, including Iowa. For the future, I'd keep an eye on Minnesota and Northwestern. They seem to be slowly building into mid-range teams in the conference again. I might go out on a limb and say that Iowa could easily be in the top 3 at the end of the season and if not, they should be (by rights) a comfortable #4.

Florida could be mere mortals again. I heard that a lot after their win against the Vols last weekend, but I'm not buying quite yet. They are the Goliath of college football and its going to take more than the Vols to knock them off-- and Alabama, LSU and Ole Miss are waiting for 'em. Of the three, I'd pick 'Bama to take 'em to the mat and maybe even beat them- but that could only fuel Tebow's fire to kick ass and take names for the rest of the season after that. But once again, the SEC lives up to its billing as the toughest conference around.

The ACC could get interesting-- where did Miami of Florida come from? Seriously now- Jacori Harris? Wow... the Hurricanes are fo'sho back in the hiz-ouse. But VaTech is too- especially after showing their chops with that beautiful win against the Huskers (was it last week or the week before-- whenever it was...)

And of course, there's the Big 12. Can someone beat Texas, please? And what's up with such a lopsided conference--- quick, name me a team other than Missouri or Nebraska that's come close to winning the Big 12 from the Big 12 North in the past, like 20 years? Anyone? Anyone? That's what's always baffled me about the Big 12-- it seems like all the big guns are in the South Division.

So there you have it: my take on the college football season thus far. How much of the above is complete and total bullshit? Time will tell. Maybe at the end of the season, I'll run back through this and see if I'm full of more bullshit or Lee Corso is... either way, things get fun from here on it.

Riots At the G-20

Sigh...

Piss On That

The Interim Government of Honduras has confirmed that 'informal talks' with ousted President Manuel Zelaya are underway-- this after the former Prez snuck back into the country and took sanctuary at the Brazilian Embassy.

Hmmm, the Honduran Military, acting on a legal court order, removes the President (Zelaya) for breaking the law. Then, they go back to their barracks and an interim President takes over. Why is everyone acting like Honduras was pissing on their prize magnolia tree? Seems perfectly reasonable to me-- (though question: why couldn't they impeach Zelaya?)

Anyway, EPIC FAIL for President Obama on this one.

Late Night Chronicles 27: The Mix Tape

I used to be able to make really good mix CDs, but somewhere along the way I seem to have lost the ability. I mean back in the day, burning a CD for someone was almost a work of art- a way to work out some excess creativity and make something totally unique for someone to enjoy and listen too. But I lost my edge. Reviewing my recent mix CDs, a disturbing pattern of repetition appears to emerge- and one, uncomfortable truth has become very clear to me:

I got a thing for Sara Bareilles.

Yep. "Love Song" appears on virtually every mix CD I've made for the past year, if not more. It's horrifying- like a subliminal message in a Stephen King novel that will eventually infect my brain and end up with me hacking my way through a wall with a pick-axe and leering insanely and whatever's on the other side, just like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining.'

I remember where I was when I first heard that song- it was on Highway 60 in southwestern Minnesota and Ali and I were on our way back from Worthington and heading home to Mankato. It was getting dark and we were almost to Lake Crystal and then that song dropped. I was surprised, because I could have sworn it was Fiona Apple. Like she found a bottle of prozac or something and decided not to be dark and twisty- just for a refreshing change of pace. But, it wasn't--- it was none other than Ms. Sara Bareilles and she's haunted my musical footsteps ever since.

Contemplating this- along with my wonderful new iPod, I was determined to make my way back to a deeper exploration of music. Part of this recent move on my part has been due to another birthday present- an excellent biography of Joe Strummer, the lead singer of The Clash. It's made me realize just how much I miss music and just how lazy I've gotten recently with my musical tastes. I used to be about discovering anything new when it came to music, but lately, it's just been whatever's on the radio that I groove too. I have no problem with the latter, but have come to deeply miss the former. And reading about the early days of punk- and just the concept of punk itself, something we don't normally hear a lot about here in the post-punk era is a treat in and of itself. My parents, bless 'em, despite actually being in the UK in the late1970s, were apparently almost completely oblivious to bands such as The Clash, The Jam or Joy Division or even the Sex Pistols- bands that I love. My Dad has a thing for Pink Floyd that continues to this day and my mother will still try to sell me on the concept that Elvis Costello was part of punk. I have yet to buy into that.

But, to bring the discussion back around to my original point- I did a lot of thinking about how to make the perfect mix CD- and it took awhile- hence, the delay between my last dispatch and this one- but I think I may have come up with some fairly loose rules that people could, potentially follow, if they seek to make a mix CD of some kind. The initial problem with this concept should be fairly obvious: mix CDs are totally subjective things. Your tastes in music are different from mine and your approach could be totally different than mine- and that's totally cool, which is the beauty of music as we know it, I think. So you can probably go ahead and ignore this if you really, really want too:

Something Old, Something New: I think balance in a good mix CD is important. Unless, of course, you're going for a theme of some kind that doesn't cut across genres. But that, to me, would make it more of a compilation than a true Mix CD. But balance means that you have good old stuff mixed with the new kick-ass stuff and stuff from various points between all rolled into one kick-ass CD.

Seven Minutes In Heaven: I also think a key component to any mix CD is a long-ass song. Rock n'Roll is replete with long ass songs, ranging from Derek and the Dominoes' version of 'Layla' to Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway to Heaven' to CSNY's 'Judy Blue Eyes' or the Allman Brothers' 'Jessica' there are plenty of length tunes you can jam out too. The question is which one to choose and how to choose one that won't seem like it's overwhelming the rest of the mix CD. Which is why I never put I.Ron Butterfly on my mix tapes.

Quirks: Everyone has their own. Mine are alphabetically. I cannot have two artists who begin with the same letter next to each other. At all. Britney Spears and Bob Dylan have to be separated, as to Juanes and Jamiroquai. But that's just me- everyone really does have their own personal quirks about stuff they do and don't like to do with mix CDs.

At the end of the day though, there are no hard and fast rules for what makes a good Mix CD. There are times when I think we all feel like there should be rules- but part of the fun of doing this is the fact that you get to make your own rules doing it. I lost my touch, so I think I'm going to make a resolution to more conservative and careful with my mixing. I don't just want a mix CD anymore- I was a good mix CD that can be played over and over again. And in the spirit of that sentiment, I carefully contemplated and came up with the following mix- a work in progress, as I have some issues with the back half or so of the order. But we'll see what it ends up looking like:

1. Jessica- The Allman Brothers
2. Police and Thieves- The Clash
3. Johnny Too Bad- UB40
4. Me Against The Music- Britney Spears
5. Lie In Our Graves- Dave Matthews Band
6. Black Thumbnail- Kings of Leon
7. One Step At A Time- Jordin Sparks
8. Come On Eileen- Dexy's Midnight Runners
9. Fireflies- Owl City
10. She's Lost Control- Joy Division
11. You Only Live Once- The Strokes
12. Clint Eastwood- Gorillaz
13. Scarlet Begonias- Sublime
14. Bad Days- The Flaming Lips
15. EMI- The Sex Pistols
16. Just Got Started Lovin' You- James Otto
17. All I Really Want- Alanis Morrisette
18. Ceremony- New Order

I test drove this a little last night on the IPod and generally speaking I'm pleased with it. I know there's a Britney song on there, but that comes back to the whole 'balance' thing we talked about earlier. You have a decent Britney song with a kick-ass beat that people can dance too and you balance it with pop tunes by Jordin Sparks and something totally new by Owl City. I think it's sort of the latter half of the mix that gets a bit shaky. The Strokes are totally kick ass, but Gorillaz and Subline are old throwback standbys- good in their proper place, but if you're going for a lack of repetition in your mix CDs, they might have to be voted off the island. But a large part of this CD works- and it works in a fresh way that helps people party better at the end of the day. And better mixes make for better parties- which I think we can all agree is a good thing. (Especially that, despite picking up some Studio Arts OT this morrning before my last night tonight--- and believe me tomorrrow, there's gonna be drinking.)

Double Shot of IA Politics

1. Congressman Steve King is a little whacky. (Personally, if I was a state Republican, I would stay far, far away from the gay marriage issue. Make it about the economy next year and you could win the Governor's mansion. Make it about a social issue that affects pretty much nobody's straight marriage and people will probably roll their eyes and vote for someone else whose priorities are actually in order.)

2. Grassley Could Be Vulnerable In 2010. Bwahahaahhahahahahahaha! I'll believe it when I see it. (It'd be a big help if the Democrats could find someone other than qualified sacrificial lambs to run against him.)

(The Aftertaste: The big, ugly question hanging out there-- will Former Iowa Governor Terry Bransted run for Governor next year?)

Raise Urban Chickens?

When someone says 'Urban Chicken' to me I get this ridiculous picture of a chicken running around in an Ed Hardy shirt and that makes me smile. But the concept itself is sort of intriguing... I mean, you could have fresh eggs every day- but there are real concerns worth considering. What to do with the waste? What to do when the hens stop laying eggs?

An interesting article from the PC. Check it out.

(I might vote 'yes' on this one. It'd be an assload of work though, and I'm not sure the Missus and I have the time to really do it- and we don't eat enough eggs to really justify it, in my minds- but if other people do, then more power to 'em.)

Principal Forced Out?

Another City High Principal forced out? First of all- I have to agree with the tones of some of the comments. What the hell is the PC doing talking to Hanson's Mom, of all people? That just seems kind of dicey and sleazy to me. Second of all- as for the allegations themselves, well... I'd believe it. Some of the rhetoric I've seen about the two high schools since I've moved back to the IC has been downright shocking. I could see influential, rich people on the west side not wanting boundary changes bringing 'those people' over to their 'school.'

That, however, might be just a touch too far into class-based paranoia-- but only just a touch. Hanson did have the right idea though. The schools need boundary changes and badly- you can't have high schools with such a socio-economic disparity between them and expect them both to be consistently excellent schools over the long term. Now granted, Iowa City Schools play in a different league than your average high school. For Iowa City, 'not being excellent' would probably be seen as the end of the world, where as to other sane observers, it would be seen as being happily average. Which is what most people have out there anyway.

Do I think City High can take on any challenge? I do. I came out of there unscathed and educated so I see no reason why that should change for all the other students.

Mary Travers 1936-2009

Noted 60s folk trio Peter, Paul and Mary are down to two today with the death of Mary Travers from complications from chemo from a bone-marrow transplant she had earlier in the year to combat her leukemia.

For a lot of people, this is a big deal-- for me, not so much. I'm more a child of a the punk/new wave era than the flower power era-- however, there is this fragment of my childhood:



Kind of sucks that 'Puff The Magic Dragon' is not, in fact, about what everyone thinks it is about. As you can see from the video- it's really about 'the loss of innocence' of children. Hehehehehe. Suuuuuuuuuuuure...

New Boathouse...

...the rowing team at the UI has a new home. The Beckwith Boathouse is, I think, complete and set for a grand opening sometime fairly soon, if it hasn't happened already. Looks like a pretty cool facility.

H1N1@The U

Swine flu cases are going up on campus-- I first noticed that there were cases in the West Side Dorms late last week- and from what I can tell, the cases are going up with every passing day. After Wisconsin was left ten men short last weekend during their game because of the flu- Iowa and other teams are starting to take precautions as well.

Personally, I think this is going to spread quickly and could get complicated. The Mumps Outbreak of 2006 was similar- tons of people got it, it was drug-resistant so you just had to ride it out and it spread very, very quickly. With H1N1, it seems like the current strain isn't very severe- it's just like flu, from what I can tell- but the close quarters of the dorms and the continued traffic at the bars, tailgating and the football game are all going spread this thing very quickly.

Patrick Swayze 1952-2009

People need to stop dying. Especially cool people like Patrick Swayze. Been sort of expecting this for awhile now, but that doesn't make it any less sad. So, a YouTube tribute to Swayze:















...I think I'm going to shuffle the Netflix and have a SwayzeFest. It seems appropriate somehow. Rest in peace, Swazye.

Norman Borlaug 1914-2009

Superheros do exist. And they come from Iowa. I can't remember when I first heard of Norman Borlaug, but I do remember being blown away by the magnitude of just what the man had accomplished- But how's this for a statistic: Norman Borlaug is credited with saving more lives than anyone else in human history. Yes, you did, in fact, read that correctly. More lives than anyone else in human history.

How'd he do it? Well, he helped developed dwarf wheat in the late 60s which sparked something called 'The Green Revolution' that knocked down predictions of global famine that were being made by proponents of Malthus at the time, such as Paul Ehrlich. The dwarf wheat the Borlaug helped developed was resistant to a wide spectrum of plant diseases and pests and produced two to three times the normal yield of grain. That statistic alone helped explode wheat production in the developing world.

In Pakistan, wheat yields rose from 4.6 million tons in 1965 to 8.4 million in 1970. In India, they rose from 12.3 million tons to 20 million. And the yields continue to increase. In 2008, India harvested a record 78.5 million tons of wheat.

Appropriately, Borlaug would go on to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in 1970- and the World Food Prize Institute, which is based out of Des Moines continues his work today.

Not enough people know about what this guy did, in my book- it's a staggering achievement that will probably never be matched ever again. Population experts in the late 60s were predicting decades of catastrophic global famine as the world's population continued to increase- Dr. Borlaug took this predictions and turned them on their head. India since 1968 has doubled it's population, quadrupled its wheat production and has one of the strongest economies in the developing world that's growing at a brisk clip.

A great achievement from a great Iowan. We should all be proud.

Late Night Chronicles 26: The Circus

**This is a new feature here at the Cigar... while I've been gone, I started staying up late on my nights off (I work third shift at the U) and writing random columns/notes on Facebook about whatever was on my mind. They took on a life of their own and now they show up pretty regularly over on my Facebook page- you can find the 25 previous ones over there--- this is the first one I'm throwing up over here and I'll be cross-posting all future ones, so any readers of the Cigar who aren't on Facebook can get in on the action.

I am completely unmusical and love music all at the same time. I find it fascinating. I love discovering new bands that everyone inevitably has known about for years, but I am finding for the first time. I love listening to those songs on the radio that just blow your mind or boozy nights that have soundtracks that echo in your brain for days afterwards. Given a choice to do high school again, I think I might have stuck with music. And maybe learned to play the guitar and formed an angry and probably bad punk band.

But anyway: when the wife requested two tickets to watch Ms. Britney Spears live in concert at the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, I, being the wonderful husband that I am, agreed to this and went along with her for the ride. My resume of concert-going is fairly thin (I would put the randomness of seeing Duran Duran at Live 8 in Rome at the very top of that list) and I had never been to a 'big budget' concert in my life. So I thought, why not? (Of course, modesty and highly honed sense of self-preservation forbids me from revealing just what I got in return for being a dutiful husband, but rest assured, dear reader, it was worth it.)

I will admit to having something of a love-hate relationship with Britney Spears. I think I'll always kind of resent her for making top 40 radio such hell to listen to when I was in high school. The world really did kind of end after Kurt Cobain died, because the early 90s dance craze petered out, grunge was never the same and then came the rise of bubblegum pop, at the forefront of which stood none other that Britney herself. There was a good six year period that lasted until the end of the 90s when turning on the local FM station was a sure-fire ticket into nausea. Corporate, shiny boy bands and girl artists that sounded almost exactly alike ruling the airwaves. Rap and hip-hop wasn't much better, especially after Tupac and Biggie died. Then it just became a revolving series of meditations on whether or not whichever rapper that was popular that month was going to have 'to choke a bitch' or 'shoot up some n--gas' to prove his manhood.

Good music back then, you actually had to hunt for. I also knock Britney a bit for contributing however unknowingly to this frankly creepy trend of the sexualization of young women way too early. (You can blame a lot of people for this, but the school girl outfit in the video for 'Oops, I Did It Again'?) That's sort of become iconic, in many respects for kick-starting this trend. What becomes difficult is assigning blame. For sure, we as a nation are not doing enough to roll this creepy-ass trend back. How far can we assign blame to Britney? As probably one of the most iconic artists of the 90s, she surely has to be aware that many people consider her a role model, yet at the same time, she cannot be blamed for parents who let their daughters wear some of this stuff. So yeah, I knock her for it. Just a little bit.

We got to the Wells Fargo Arena in good time, picked up our tickets and discovered very quickly that there's nothing to do in downtown Des Moines. A good hour of walking the sky-ways and we finally found an oyster bar (where we both tried oysters for the first time) and then we found a British pub (if I'm going to a Britney Spears concert then I'm going to need at least one very large glass of beer, dammit)- that was excellent. It had a wall full of what looked to my eye to be downright excellent scotch and actually felt like a real British pub.

The show opened pretty much right on time with latest Top 40 Radio Flavor Of The Month Kristinia DeBarge. If you have no idea who that is, then that's OK- she's fairly new, but I guarantee you, if you've been listening to Top 40 Radio for the past, I don't know, month or so on a regular basis, you've heard at least one of her songs. 'Goodbye' (second song of the night- and the only one I'd heard of) is her current hit and it samples liberally from the 1969 hit by the band Steam 'Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye.' Everyone has probably at one time or another heard the latter song- it's pretty memorable and it was sort of menschy of DeBarge to sample from it.

I don't necessarily disapprove of doing either covers or sampling from songs, but I do think it can't just be done willy-nilly. The artist you're sampling (or covering) should be obscure- and you should take their material and make it better. Case in point: No Doubt's brilliant cover of Talk Talk's 'It's My Life.' I mean- how many people actually knew it was a cover? (Outside of Europe that is... I heard Talk Talk a lot on the radio when I was in France.) Artists who are in sampling/cover hell in my book: 1. The Counting Crows and Vanessa Carlton for their excremental version of Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi (who covers Joni Mitchell? That's like cock-slapping Moses in the face. You just don't do that.) I'm not sure I needed to hear 2. Sheryl Crow redo Guns and Roses' 'Sweet Child of Mine' either. As for sampling, the two worst offenders were 1. Nelly for sampling the guitar hook from AC/DC's 'Back In Black' (almost worst than covering Joni Mitchell-- this is like cock-slapping GOD!) 2. Puff Daddy for using the instrumentals from Kashmir for 'Come With Me' (to be fair, Led Zep have no one to blame but themselves, as they usually keep their songs pretty close to the vest.) and finally, I'm not sure how to feel about this, but Will Smith used the hook from 'Rock The Casbah' for 'Will 2k.' And that was just a bad song.

Anyway- covering and sampling is a tricky business and I think DeBarge managed to pull it off. The hit itself is decent- it's on the radio, it's making her money. Whether she'll be able to last in the long haul, I don't know. Putting her up against the other two acts of the night (Jordin Sparks and Ms. Spears) she looked more like a Blu Cantrell than a Britney. But time could yet prove me wrong.

Jordin Sparks was up next. I will admit to being excited about this. I like Jordin Sparks and I don't care who knows it- she's one of many guilty pleasures that haunt my iTunes and I think she has probably been one of the most underrated American Idol alums out there. She ran through all her hits in style (which took up a good twenty-twenty five minutes)- and could I just say to all the people who were freaking out about her being 'plus sized'- in what universe are you people living? She was tall (taller than I expected) and damn, if I was a woman and had that body, I'd be happy. Shit, I'm a guy and I'd probably be happy with that body. People really need to pull their heads out of their asses when it comes to body image.

As she was rolling through her set however, a radical thought flew across my brain. You ready? Here it is: American Idol might just have saved pop music as we know it. Think about it a minute- pop music before American Idol, meant things like the 'Backstreet Boys' or the freshly de-Mouseketeered Britney or Christina. Idol forced variety back into pop music because in order to win, you can't just sound like everyone else. You have to stand out in the crowd and have a little bit of a x factor. I'm not saying pop music will suddenly become my all time favorite kind of music because of it- pop is, generally speaking fairly bland and inoffensive. Which is good a lot of the time, but doesn't necessarily give you a lot of depth and variety for pretty much the rest of the time.

One twenty minute intermission later and the curtain rose on the main event of the night. Acrobats came falling out of the ceiling. There were midgets. A little half person bounced around on a trampoline. 'The Circus' tour lived up its billing. It felt like a circus and barring a parade of animals had all the trappings of one. Ms. Spears eventually emerged and proceeded to tear through her songs with energy, vitality and not a small amount of panache and pizazz. The whole damn show was trippy- one never knew what happened next. And I have to say that I will probably not be rushing out to by myself a Britney album anytime soon- however-- she puts on a damn good show and given the dancing, the singing, the showmanship- not one penny of your money is wasted going to see this.

Britney has evolved into a genuine artist- one who could possibly claim the mantle of Madonna if she really wanted too. The style of music, the big, flashy stage show and production- the iconic artist of the 90s (sad, but true) could easily eclipse one of the icons of the 80s if she wanted too- and she probably will I'd imagine. And even with her spate of personal troubles and the tabloid feeding frenzy that accompanied them seeing this show, you come away convinced of one, undeniable fact. Ms. Spears has served notice on the world at large- and she is, indubitably, back. And she's here to stay.

I can't say that I danced much through the evening, I was too busy being like 'WTF?' at all the crazy shit going on in front of me. The Missus enjoyed herself immensely and I have to say that I kinda did too. If nothing else, it was an experience- but should I be dragged to another Britney show- especially one as trippy as this one, I'm going skip the beer and go straight for shrooms.

I'm Back and I'm Bad...

I'm back. What's been going on?

Chaos.

Mayhem.

New job. (UI Security Guard)

New career choice. (Social Studies Teacher)

Failed political career start. (So much for the City Council thing...)

The usual bag of tricks in other words. We moved into our new house- which I probably mentioned and then things got crazy. And between this, that and the other- my attempt to run for City Council fell by the wayside. I was nervous about doing it anyway, because it seemed like something you should have a lot of time to devote to. And at the end of the day, I just didn't have the time. Plus (and this is seriously freaky)- when I thought clearly marked bike lanes on Jefferson and Market were a good idea, I was driving down those streets the very next day- and what do I see? That's right. Clearly marked bike lanes.

And as for young people getting a voice, well, three other UI students are running and there's a primary on October 6th. Somehow, I think a dream deferred is hardly a dream denied at this point and it'll help me get a handle on important things. Like my MA Thesis and getting into the College of Education so I can fulfill my dream of being a Social Studies teacher.

But I'm back...