This List Is Whack

Once upon a time about a year ago, the staff at LA Weekly compiled this list of the Top 20 Worst Bands of All Time and it's still causing social media outrage a year later, as NBC News noted today in what must have been either an extremely slow news day or another day of scandals that they don't want the American public informing themselves about.

But here's the kicker:  I read this list.  And it's either a list designed to provoke outrage (which is entirely likely, given the reaction) or it's an entirely ill-concieved exercise altogether.  I mean, first of all, most of these lists are totally bogus anyway-  taste, in anything- whether it's books, movies or even types of pizza is an entirely subjective thing.  The bands/artists I like don't have to be the bands/artists that you like.  Viva la difference!  Variety is the spice of life!

Yet having said that, I have to say:  this list is totally whack.  (I suppose by dissecting this I'm also pushing more social media/internet traffic LA Weekly's way which could compound the problem, but, I don't really care.)

Let's consider this list- from 20-1 as LA Weekly intended:

20. Spin Doctors:  Not a bad start to a list of the supposed worst bands of all time, but really, aren't these guys only known for two songs?  I'll admit 'Two Princes' is a fairly awesome piece of 90s schlock but 'Pocket Full of Kryptonite' isn't really all that bad- though I didn't know John Popper of Blues Traveler used to be in this band.   Verdict:  Acceptable

19. The Raconteurs:  Um, ok?  It's Jack White and his buds.  Haven't exactly heard a lot of their music...  Verdict:  Unimpressed.  Try again, hipsters.

18. Oasis:  Did you pick Oasis for the family drama bullshit or just because?  I don't think they're the greatest band ever but when they're not trying to strangle/shank each other the Brothers Gallagher produce decent to good music.  Verdict:  Fail.  Not on this list.

17.  Phish:  Can honestly say I've never devoted forty five minutes of my life to listen to one of their songs.   Verdict: Unimpressed.  As if stoners are going to care what you think.

16. 4 Non Blondes:  First epic fail of the list--  first of all, they had one hit and it was a good hit,  Don't be hating on 4 Non Blondes.  Verdict:  Fail.  One hit wonders don't really count.

15. Pretty Ricky:  Who?   Verdict:  Fail.   I have no idea who these people are.

14. Foreignor:  Second titanic fail of the list.   Verdict:  Get away from me, hipster douchebags.  You know not of what you speak.  Fail.

13. Wings:  Don't hate on Paul McCartney.  Verdict:  Fail again.  Because you don't pick on The Beatles.  YOU DON'T DO IT.

12. Fleet Foxes:  Who?  Verdict:  Fail.  See #15 for more.

11. Red Hot Chili Peppers:  At this point, I decided that if #14 didn't point to LA Weekly being a domain of hipster douchebags, this entry does.  Verdict:  You suck and you're so, so wrong.  Fail.

10. Pussycat Dolls:  This entry I agreed with.  Not bad.  Verdict:  Acceptable.

9. Rush:  Seriously?  You're going to offend Canada just because you can?  This is a dick move- and it's totally untrue because, well, Neal Purt.  End of discussion.  (P.S.  You put Rush on this list but not Creed?)  Verdict:  Aboot as much of a fail as you can get, eh?  Hosers.

8. Hootie and the Blowfish:  That's right, assassinate my childhood, you bastards.  Personally, I think Darius Rucker needs to quit doing the solo country thing and reform Hootie.  There'd be enough crossover appeal to go places.  Don't penalize a decent band for one crappy video featuring Dan Marino.  Verdict:  Fail.  Just, fail.

7. Pearl Jam:  Really?  Verdict:  Fail.

6. Black Eyed Peas:  Oddly enough, I could agree with this.  Maybe not as high as number 6, but I'm down with them making the list just on the strength of 'My Humps' alone.  Verdict: Acceptable.

5. Animal Collective:  Who?  Verdict:  Fail.  See #12 and #15 for more.

4. Sex Pistols:  Invalid.  Yes, John Lydon is kind of a dick but really, they only had one album and it was a pretty damn important one for punk in general.   Verdict:  Fail.

3. LCD Soundsystem:  Listen, I'm not a techno freak by any stretch of the imagination but I object to this one.  LCD Soundsystem is a decent band and they've already packed it and dissolved themselves so again, Verdict: Fail.

2. Eagles:  Seriously?  No.  Verdict:  Super Epic Fail.

1. The Dave Matthews Band:  Herein lies the titanic failure of this list...  music snobs love to hate DMB and while I'll agree they sound so 90s these days and not necessarily in a good way, they weren't actually that bad.  Putting DMB on top of this list is such a hipster dick move, it's practically cliche at this point- especially when bands like O-Town, 98 Degrees, The Backstreet Boys not to mention Creed didn't make the list.   Verdict:  I disagree.  Fail.

I would agree with maybe three out of the twenty bands on this list...  which means if I'm grading LA Weekly's list, I'm giving it a whopping 15% which is an epic, epic fail.

So kids:  agree or disagree?  And- who would you nominate to such a list?  Leave your answers in the comments if so you desire.