#25: Become A Father

Kids,

It's been a long time since I posted an update for my overly ambitious bucket list of things to do before I turn 30 in September- I know I won't hit all of them.  Running a 5k may remain out of reach for awhile longer.  Ditto for knocking off all 50 states or going back to Europe- and you know what?  Right now, tonight, I don't mind one bit- because today I knocked off number 25 on the list and it feels pretty damn amazing right now.

The Missus and I have always wanted to adopt at some point.  We thought we would knock out one the old fashioned way and maybe adopt further down the road- but a miscarriage and a couple of rounds of Clomid convinced us to move things along.   So we took a class and had a home study done, never thinking that less than a year later, we'd have a kid placed with us.

Three weeks ago now, we got an email asking if we'd be interesting in a 1 1/2 year old boy who might become available after a court hearing the next week.  Of course, we said yes!  A 1 1/2 year old was like hitting the adoption jackpot for us- it was exactly what we had dreamed of and wanted for so long. Then, silence.

That silence freaked me right out.  The Missus can attest that I pitch the occasional nutty about things but this one lead to a Major League Nutty.   What was going on?  What was the deal?  When we were going to know?  Were they just going to call us and say 'hey, we're on the way now so get ready!'  That uncertainty was horrible.   It's strange but the more I think about it, the more I realize that my job as a Dispatcher seems to be intertwining itself with my personality more and more.  When I go to work and the phone rings or someone pulls a traffic stop, there's always that moment, that split second of uncertainty before you get a grip on what you're dealing with.  Is the caller hysterical?  What's going on?  Is the driver wanted?  All the possibilities run through your mind in a split second and then...  then you're fine.  Once I know what I'm dealing with, I can wrap my head around pretty much anything.

But then finally- we got word that they'd like to schedule an interview for the Missus and I.  Then we had the interview last Thursday.  And last Friday, we got a call.  And today, he arrived.

You can't plan for everything of course- that part of the great adventure of parenthood has already been made clear to me- but once I knew he was on his way, then, kids, it was game on.  Crib, clothes, toys, books, car seat (checked by not one, but two Captains down at the Department- a fact that made me smile even more when the Social Worker revealed today that she had gotten lost and had gone to the police station to get directions and had been escorted to our house by the Chief of the City PD.  1 1/2 and a lot of positive interactions with Law Enforcement already!  I like it!)  He liked the cats, he liked the small dog and once he discovered that the big dog loved Cheez-Its as much as he did, he made a new best friend.  (And I changed my first poopy diaper.   The Missus has that moment photographed somewhere for posterity.)

Once he smiled at me, it was pretty much game over.   And although we're probably going to have some bumps in the road ahead as he gets used to all the new things he's got in his life now, I love this little guy so much already.  I want to be in his corner.  I want him to have all the opportunities and possibilities that he can in this life so he can make the most of whatever he wants to be.

And now, The Cigarillo is fast asleep and the only thing I can think of to describe this wonderful day and this wonderful feeling is this:

Amazing.