Late Night Chronicles 70: Jamie Pollard and His Fiddle

Published 6/11/10 on Facebook...

By now anyone who even casually glances at newspapers or ESPN is aware that great things are afoot in the landscape of college athletics as we know it. Rumors of Big 10 expansion have been around for months and today might be the day where the great centralizing earthquake rattles Universities from coast to coast- or maybe not. Nebraska is rumored to make its departure to the Big 10 official in just about an hour or so. Colorado has already left the Big 12 for the Pac-10 (now 11, I guess.) And all eyes have turned to Texas, to see what, if anything they're going to do.

Here in Iowa questions have to be growing- not only amongst Iowa State fans and alums, but amongst fans of college athletics in general: what is Iowa State going to do? Where could they end up? And more importantly, just what the hell is ISU Athletics Director Jamie Pollard actually doing right now? Iowa State officials seems to be content with issue statement after statement affirming their belief in just how awesome the Big 12 is for them, as if they say it out loud enough, it'll actually prevent the conference from exploding in their faces. In the meantime, poor Missouri is wondering if it's going to get asked to the prom, as the Big 10 doesn't appear to be showing the Tigers a lot of love. Kansas Basketball Coach Bill Self is wondering why football matters so much (and probably wondering just how much enjoyment he's going to get out of dominating the Mountain West Conference thoroughly- something that erstwhile former Iowa Coach Todd Lickliter could probably manage with ease) and Baylor is desperately trying to get some legislators in Austin to make sure they have seat to sit in should the current game of conference musical chairs cease playing the music and they get left standing.

All in all, the potential Big 12 orphans don't seem to have much of a clue as to what's going on, what they're going to do and what might actually happen tomorrow. Which to me, is pretty much sealing the fate of the Big 12 as we know it. Sure, Texas, Oklahoma and all their merry men might bolt for a new Pac-16 super-conference... but instead of waiting for that to happen, what's the Big 12 going to do about it right now? Why are these potential orphans sitting around whining and praying that the Conference holds together... if Jamie Pollard is going to get Senators Harkin and Grassley to go to bat for him, it sure would be nice to show some modicum of effort by the potential orphans to actually fight for what might be left of their conference.

First of all: meet-up. Have a summit somewhere-- the Hessen Haus in Des Moines has good German beer and if this thing goes down the way many are predicting it will, then Kansas, Kansas State, Mizzou, ISU and Baylor are all gonna need a beer. (Well, maybe not Baylor. They are Baptist. The food's good too, Baylor...)

Second of all: fire Big 12 Commish Dan Beebe. I mean, really... talk about a guy who got smacked in the face and then some. Rumors of Big 10 and Pac-10 expansion have been flying for months- why didn't you have a plan B in place? Why weren't you taking the temperature of your conference? Why didn't you say: 'fine, if Nebraska and Colorado want out, we'll invite these guys...' some leaked stories to the press and some daring, ambitious expansion targets and suddenly the Big 12 might seem like it's actually read to handle this mess.

Third of all: lay down the law to Texas and Company. I heard somewhere that it takes 9 votes (hopefully this is true) to dissolve the conference without exit penalties and the like and guess what? Even if Mizzou bolts for the Big 10, you still have enough to block peaceful dissolution. Colorado wasn't a good fit for the Big 12 from day one. Let 'em go. Nebraska misses playing Oklahoma and they weren't that good of a fit in the Big 12 either. Let 'em go too. But if Texas and Company are going to screw you guys and leave you out in the cold- well, shit. Make 'em pay through the nose for it.

Fourth of all: Start playing the expansion game too. A column in the Dallas Morning News speculated about a merger with the Mountain West. Still others have thought about poaching Louisville and Cincy from the Big East. TCU has fielded a damn good football team for quite sometime now- and you could attempt to snatch Utah right out from under the noses of the Pac-10 (now, 11 I guess.) Either way, if you want to keep your comfortable conference intact, you gotta start playing the expansion game right along with the other conferences. Don't go gently into that good night- hang together, fellas, because if you don't, then you're for sure going to hang separately.

A lot of people seem to be expressing surprise and disgust that a lot of these moves are motivated by, of all things, money- but basic greed aside, potential Big 12 orphans, you have to realize: money started things moving, but money could also stop 'em cold. Texas wants its own television network and if they move to a Pac-16, that probably won't happen. Texas likes to be in charge. If they get absorbed into a super-conference, especially with titans like USC in it, life probably won't be as cushy for them as it is right now with the Big 12 HQ in Dallas, TX and them pretty much running the show.

Of course the Big 12 as you know it was probably doomed from day 1. The addition of the Texas schools skewed power southward in a huge way that rankled old school Big 8ers like Nebraska and left them stuck in the weaker division of the conference. The unbalanced nature of the Big 12, the lack of revenue sharing, especially for big football schools like Nebraska was going to breed resentment and at the end of the day, one of the biggest rivalries in college football died when the Big 12 was born. Nebraska would probably like to start playing Oklahoma again, wherever they end up.

A lot of this should have been seen as inevitable, but now that it's here, the potential orphans have got to start being proactive instead of reactive otherwise their worst fears will undoubtedly come true. When your house is on fire, you don't just gawk at it- you grab a hose and start spraying. And if the Emperor Nero had picked up a bucket instead of playing his fiddle while Rome burned, history might well remember in a more kindly fashion. So, potential orphans, it remains up to you: are you going to grab your buckets and start dousing, or is someone going to hand Jamie Pollard his fiddle, so he can play a merry little tune while the Big 12 burns down around Iowa State and the rest of you?