No More Q****age!

Well, it was brought to my attention this morning that I was being a total qu**f about life and after a certain amount of deliberation on my part, I experienced what psychologists and therapists tend to term 'a break through' moment.

I was being a q***f. A total q***f. The biggest damn q***f in the whole wide q***fin' world. I have a job, a roof over my head and a woman who love me. Incidentally, I also have the cutest dog in the world and two crazy cats who are just awesome! But in other words, the vaseline was applied and with the help of a hefty crowbar (I have a REALLY big head) my head was safely removed from my sphincter.

1. I am smart.
2. I am qualified.
3. If this crappy place can hire me, anyone can hire me.
4. Schwan's tried to get ahold of me. The Cedar Rapids Police Department wants to give me a try and see if I'm good enough to be a policeman in the City of Five Seasons. (This means I have a week to do 29 real life honest-to-god push-ups in a minute or less. Good luck with that! But either way, I take heart from the fact they are willing to test my ass. That's a good sign.)
5. I am going places with my hot wife. That's all there is too it.
6. After placing my first calls on the call floor today at TLCA, I've decided that I am going to prod behind and take names. (Cussing isn't aloud on the call floor. Sorry.)

So the deal is this: I'm not allowed to be a q***f about my current job until March 1st. And then only in small, limited quantities.

But that's not going to be a problem, because I know, I know that someone better is going to hire me before then. It's a fact. I can feel it.

(Oh and for the record- my little breakthrough this morning: basically, I have this irrational and not all together unreasonable fear that no one will hire me and I'm totally unqualified and all our student loans are going to be come due at once and I'll have this 10 dollar an hour job that's totally unable to cover any of my bills and we'll be forced to go bankrupt and live in a van down by the river with Chris Farley. It sounds well, I don't want to be insensitive, but what the hell- it sounds retarded when I write it down, but at the time it made perfect sense and it kind of still does. The problem is that I just need to have a little more faith in myself and my abilities and think big.)