21 Only Redux: The Endorsement

Minor surprises only, here kids:  I'm voting NO to 19 this November- but with a few qualifications:

First, I don't like the fines.  Those should be cut in half at minimum as I doubt that $700+ for being in a bar after hours or whatever is now is going to really make all that much of a dent on the Bank of Mom and Dad, LLC (Naperville Branch)- it's certainly doesn't seem to be deterring students from drinking.  Though oddly enough, either the hangover from last season or students being more excited for basketball for once seems to be contributing to more adults misbehaving at games than students.   Tickets are better than jail, I'll agree- but let's not be exorbitant about it.

Second, it's worth noting that the University achieved it's #1 Party School in the land ranking after the 21-only ordinance became law.   If the idea was to change the University's reputation away from being a party school, then mission fail, people.  Epic mission fail.

Thirdly (and finally) although it didn't get much play in the local media, for obvious reasons, the 21-only ordinance might run afoul of the City's own human rights ordinance which prevents discrimination on the basis of age.  The City is now looking at changing that- which I'm not wild about.  I mean, shouldn't they have thought about this before now?  If we've got the right to bear arms, then by God, 19 year olds have the right to $2 jaeger bombs at the SpoCo and Scummit on Thursday night!  'MERICUH!

However, the more I thought about it (and I surprised myself by actually thinking about this somewhat.  It was a short little trip on the struggle bus with this endorsement, kids, it really was) the more I decided that it just wasn't enough.  Why? 

Well for starters, this isn't the forum to make a point about the drinking age.  Does it suck that people can vote, have sex, fight for their country, purchase pornography and cigarettes at 18 and yet can't have a beer?  It does.  Is repealing this ordinance going to do a damn thing about it?  Nope.  For that we'd need to talk to some folks down in Des Moines and see if a loss of some Federal Highway funding is worth lowering our drinking age.  Monetarily, I'm betting not- but still, the point stands:  if you want the drinking age in Iowa lowered, you need a law, and all our lawmakers are in Des Moines.   This ordinance has zero effect on the issue and pretending like you're all swell and awesome by 'making a point' only serves to underline how small you think.  Think big.  Go for the brass ring and lower the damn age.  Don't piss around on the local level to do it.

Secondly, the oldest rule in politics is cui buono?  Who benefits.  In this case, it'll be local bar owners more than anyone else.  Which proves that this isn't about fairness or 'making a point' or whatever it is people want to pretend it is,  it's about making money.   And while I have nothing against making money, I think there's something fundamentally dishonest about not just saying that up front.

As usual, I remain irritated and unconvinced by this whole business.  It's not like having a drinking age of 21 has prevented anyone from actually drinking, is it? 

My Prediction: It all comes down to student turnout...I got a University-wide email encouraging students to participate in early voting but it's one of those mass spam emails that (at least when I was an undergrad) everybody just sort of blew past them so I'm not sure how effective it will be.  The students have shown up in a big way for this once so far...   and they didn't the last time.  It feels a little different this time around- but it's the usual Town Versus Gown Battle Royale and I think if the students put up big numbers, it's going down.   50/50- but I could see it being repealed.

Shutdown Roulette: Was This Gun Supposed To Do That?

So, it's over.   They saw the light, the Senate did what the Senate does and produced something safe, bipartisan and fundamentally vanilla flavored that purchased a few months of peace.  Or like two months of peace, anyway.   We could be right back here very quickly- but I doubt it.   Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has already said he's not shutting down the government over Obamacare again.   Speaker of the House John Boehner is probably worried about keeping his job- and he should be as he might have to rely on Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic Minority to get anything done.

My original point still stands-  why shut down the government over Obamacare?  They knew it was never getting through the Senate and they knew that even if, by some crazy happenstance it did so that the President wasn't going to sign it.  It was about as complete a non-starter as you can imagine- yet they did it anyway.   To stand with the American people for Conservative principles or blah blah blah... but you know, there's a thing about principles:  they don't matter a damn if you don't win elections.

And, moreover- if, as it seems to be that the rollout of Obamacare has been a complete and total nightmare, then why oh why would you want to distract from that?   That's all on the Democrats and the President.   Pull out your deck chairs, pour yourselves a nice frosty beverage and watch it happen.  Resist the urge to tell the voters 'we told you so.'  Come up with a detailed, specific plan about what you would do to fix the problem. Stop saying 'repeal and replace' and focus on the 'replace' part and you might, just maybe, get clear of this trainwreck and accomplish something next year.  Ultimately, this shutdown was the wrong play for the GOPers.  If the opposing party is launching a trainwreck, don't, for heaven's sake stand in their way.

Going forward- although I don't have a lot of reasons to hope on this score- one hopes that the spirit of sensible compromise will prevail.  The message should be sent to all the GOPers across the board:  big change means winning elections.  If they're smart (and I think this debacle proves that they are nowhere near as smart as they should be) they'll get as much as they can out of a bipartisan budget compromise and push any conversations about the debt ceiling or government shutdowns past the 2014 midterms.   If they're smart, they'll keep the focus on the current problems with Obamacare and hope, hope, hope that they continue.

But here's the thing:  I don't think they're that smart.  I have this sinking feeling that 2014 is going to bring at least one Senate candidate that should have been laughed out of the room and cost them a seat.  2016 is probably going to be another clown car massacre of just plain unpalatable candidates before someone bland, inoffensive and probably richer than everyone else because that's the only way someone's going to get the Republican nomination.   A future full of Mittens' awaits unless something radical is done to the GOPers.   

Maybe it's creeping old age thrusting me into the welcoming arms of conservatism and ugly sweaters and corny Dad jokes- but it's irritating me that the GOPers can't get it together.  It irritated me when the Dems couldn't get their shit in order after 2004-  (make fun of Howard Dean's maniacal, campaign killing yell all you want but the man's 50 state strategy made sense and paid dividends for them.)  If I'm stuck with only two parties, I want them to be sane, healthy and doing productive things that are as free from the constraints of dusty ideologies as possible and entrenched firmly in utilitarian pragmatism- doing sensible things for as many people as possible and not just the corporate dickheads that purchase and rent our elected officials.

My Halloween Jam

This is my Halloween Jam.  It's on heavy rotation in my latest iTunes mix and it's rapidly become one of my favorite songs.  Obviously, there's the title:  'Zombie'- but to me, the track has a nice voodoo flavor that makes the idea of zombies shuffling around easy to imagine.  But the artist, Fela Kuti is worth a peek if you haven't heard of him.  One of the progenitors of Afrobeat, the man was also a fierce political activist and opponent of the military regime in Nigeria.  The backstory on 'Zombie,' courtesy of Wikipedia:

In 1977, Fela and the Afrika '70 released the album Zombie, a scathing attack on Nigerian soldiers using the zombie metaphor to describe the methods of the Nigerian military.  The album was a smash hit and infuriated the government, setting off a vicious attack against the Kalakuta Republic, during which one thousand soldiers attack the commune.  Fela was severely beaten, and his elderly mother was thrown from a window, causing fatal injuries.  The Kalakuta Republic was burned, and Fela's studio, instruments and master tapes were destroyed.   Fela claimed that he would have been killed had it not been for the intervention of a commanding officer as he was being beaten.  Fela's response to the attack was to deliver his mother's coffin to the Dodan Barracks in Lagos, General Olusegun Obasanjo's residence, and to write two songs, 'Coffin for Head of State' and 'Unknown Solder,' referencing the official inquiry that claimed the commune had been destroyed by an unknown soldier.

Wrap that around your minds for a moment.  The man's mother is killed by the military and what does he do?  Sends her coffin to the General's barracks.  Stone cold steel cojones on this guy...  like an angry version of Bob Marley with just as big an influence on world music.

The Practical Guide To Entertaining The Cigarillo #4

Iowa City Public Library Downtown
(Proving that even when it comes to playgrounds, sequels are never as good as the original)

Pros:  Location, location, location!  Can't say that enough about this stuff- you're a short stroller ride from the Farmer's Market, from froyo and other fun foods not to mention that weird-ass excuse of a fountain (Weatherdance, I think it's called.  God, I miss Three Women Peeing.)  The rubber bouncy crap they use on playgrounds these days is especially bouncy downtown and as a bonus, there will always be kids around for your kiddo to play with.

Cons:  The height makes me kind of nervous as do the crowds sometimes.  The Cigarillo can move fast when he wants too so the first time we took him here I was making like a linebacker jumping off of the play equipment swinging down ladders to catch up with him.  Now I just go down the slides with him-  thankfully he seems to have a pretty good sense of the heights with the stuff so he hasn't made like he's going to attempt a ladder or anything that's way too high for him- at least not yet.

Bonus Rant: This playground is the reason I hate the rounded corners plastic shit that seems to be endemic on playgrounds these days.  When they put this stuff in and took the old stuff out they destroyed a huge chunk of my childhood not to mention the most awesome playground in the entire county.  The old stuff (and townies that grew up here can testify to this) was awesome.  There was everything you could possibly want in a playground- climbing blocks, ladders, gigantic metal slides and a secret compartment that when you were big enough to get down to it was a right of passage for many a child of The I.C.  I only wish I had a picture of the old stuff to prove to everyone how awesome it really was.

Verdict:  Not as good as the original and it never will be but it's still a nice addition to downtown- and it's the perfect something for the kids to do if you're out and about downtown.


Shimek Elementary
(There may not be windows, but there are tons of skylights, we swear!)

Pros:  What better way to close out the playground season than with the best kept secret in Iowa City!  One of the friends of the Missus, Nurse Ratchet had kept insisting that Shimek had the best playground anywhere in Iowa City and after going here, I'm willing to go along with that.   Shimek kicks it old school- their playground is sprawling, complex and wooden. It's almost nostalgic to see a wooden playground with mulch again and as a double bonus, Shimek has a lot of climbing, a lot of hidden compartments and nooks and crannies for kiddos to explore and there are no death-defying drops for The Cigarillo to potentially tumble off of.  He had a lot of fun here- especially with the bouncy bridge and the clattering wooden bridge.

Cons:  Metal slides.   I forgot how hot they can get--  I ended up having to put The Cigarillo on my lap to go down the slide just to make sure his little legs didn't get singed- I think he had more fun with Daddy anyway.  And then there's the school itself... it's white, but not that pristine, cheerful white you'd want in a school- it's more of an off-white, almost a hospital white and there's not a window visible which makes the whole place feel like a mental hospital almost- or a prison.  Nurse Ratchet, herself a graduate of Shimek hastened to assure both the Missus and I that there were, in fact, plenty of skylights inside to make up for this.  I'll take her word for it.

Verdict:  Whip out the GPS, load the kids in the car one weekend and track this place down.  Your kids will thank you for it.

Yesterday Was Columbus Day. I Didn't Notice, Did You?

Yesterday was Columbus Day.   As is my usual custom each and every year, I barely noticed.   If not for the flurry of commercials on television announcing Columbus Day sales and the fact that the mail doesn't show up, I probably wouldn't notice or care at all.   I don't care about Columbus Day.  I've never cared about Columbus Day.  It was always that random day when no mail came, nothing more.  We didn't get a day off school.  (Though the Missus informs me that South Dakota does!  It's Indigenous People's Day!)

So it always surprises me that there's an eruption of outrage each and every year over a holiday that most people could give a damn about.  Specifically, there was this web comic, courtesy of The Oatmeal which pretty much tells us what everyone who's advanced beyond elementary school already knows:  namely that for a guy that did us all a solid by discovering The Bahamas, he was a gigantic tool.   The Oatmeal goes on to suggest that Bartolomé de las Casas would be a better person to name this holiday that nobody gives a shit about after.   De Las Casas was a pretty civilized dude by the standards of the time- after witnessing the cruelty of Spanish colonization, sold all his land, became a priest and worked tirelessly for the equality of indigenous peoples.  

Sounds pretty cool, right?   Except, ru-roh!   The Observation Deck pointed out that while De Las Casas was all about fair and decent treatment for indigenous people- but he thought that they would never survive slavery, so he advocated bringing over African slaves to do it instead.  They were hardier, he thought and could survive it better.  And while he repented later in life, he was still one of the fathers of the trans-Atlantic slave trade.  So, our postal workers should stay home for him, but not Columbus?

I don't know:  history is riddled with contradictions- and while the behavior of the Spanish imperialists horrifies us and the genocide that resulted- whether through conquest or through disease should be considered the disasters they are, by the standards of the time, there was nothing wrong with their behavior.   These were people that were still clinging to the idea that the Earth was flat.   In 1492, they hadn't even wrapped their heads around the Earth revolving around the sun.  Of course they held views about different people and cultures that in the modern age seem astonishingly ignorant.   It seems silly to judge them for it- after all, they really didn't know any better.  And I would really question just how much we honor Columbus, anyway-  like I said at the start of this post, I've never given a damn about Columbus Day.  Like the Pledge of Allegiance, it's one of those things that you sort of stop doing on a regular basis once you advance into junior high and high school.

Of course, there's another point of view that's very intriguing:  namely the idea that it's not Columbus or De Las Casas we should be celebrating but John Cabot or possibly Leif Erickson.  If you look at the 'New World' it more or less falls into three spheres:  the English speaking, Spanish speaking and Portuguese speaking worlds.   Columbus is incredibly important for the Spanish-speaking world.  Pedro Alvares Cabral would probably get some credit for the Portuguese speaking world (he discovered Brazil) but English speaking exploration didn't really kick off until John Cabot's voyage in 1497.

I'm sorry, I can't work up the outrage about this.  What happened afterwards- the slavery, disease- the loss of Tenochtitlan (which would be one of the Wonders of the World today, had it survived), the loss of culture and language that are slipping away with every passing day- those are matters worthy of our attention and outrage.   A holiday which adds up to one less day of junk mail and those copies of Ebony that someone subscribed to for me (why, I don't know) isn't.

Whiskey of The Month #13: A Detour To Grappa, Part 2

Well, last month brought an unexpected birthday bonus of a second bottle of Grappa!  This time, we're stepping sideways to another grape, chardonnay and of course, that means this is Grappa Di Chardonnay.  It came in this bottle:

Equally beautiful and hand painted as it's counterpart from last month, this bottle of grappa presented us with an immediate challenge I had never encountered:  the cork got stuck.  Well, more precisely what happened was that the stopper separated from the cork and we ended up having to pry the cork out with an assist from Mother Cigar.  

A creative use of mason jars ensued and most of the Grappa Di Chardonnay now resides here:

But, let's leave that aside and get down to brass tacks:

Color:  Clear, colorless

Body:  As with the Grappa Di Prosecco there's an underlying sweetness there but it's a different kind of sweetness, which I would probably put down to the difference between the grapes.   The sweetness of the prosecco is more obvious (as with most proseccos) but the sweetness of the chardonnay is more subtle, I think.

Palate:  It's smooth and there's a hint of grittiness to it, yet weirdly it's kind of syrupy as well.  Hmmmmmm...

Finish:  Not as nice as the Grappa di Prosecco- there's a rush of harsh taste that redeems itself with a nice, gradual warming sensation that makes up for it.

I was toying with the notion of having an espresso test and being really Italian about it but I don't think I will--  I will say that both of these grappas are actually nice and quite drinkable which made a huge change from my initial, drain cleaner like experience with grappa when we were in Italy itself a few years ago.  But between these two, I think I like the bolder sweetness of the Grappa di Prosecco over it's chardonnay counterpart.  Never fear though-  next month, we're back to the good stuff!

A Modest Proposal: The John Corse Memorial Bridge

I like driving through Des Moines now.  It didn't always used to be that way--  way back in the day, I-235 was a god-awful nightmare of a mess and it just made sense to ride I-80 around the curve and Urbandale and through West Des Moines until it branched off from I-35 and headed west once more.  Then, Des Moines got it's act together and decided to clean up I-235 and the results were wonderful.

The road system works.  And more to the point, it's dotted with these beautiful, arched, blue pedestrian bridges that take what was a drive through a grey, pedestrian, frankly boring urban landscape and gave you something to look at.  Those bridges made all the difference.

I love bridges.  It's probably some weird side effect of living in such close proximity to Father Cigar for all these years but a bridge doesn't have to be just a bridge.  It can soar, it can arch, it can be breathtaking and beautiful all with merely a modicum of effort- which got me thinking- why doesn't Iowa City have any iconic bridges?

I mean, we're looking at doing all kinds of crazy things with the River.  There's talk about altering and even maybe removing the Burlington Street Dam to allow for whitewater rafting and canoeing.  I saw some vague, crazy-ass plan in Coralville to set up ziplines across the River by the Marriot.  The Iowa River has been designated a Water Trail and overall, there's a concerted effort to integrate the River into the life of the community as much as possible- if for no other reason that once a decade or so it tends to integrate itself into our lives whether we want it or not.

Which brings me to this most modest proposals- a suitable replacement for the John Corse Memorial Bridge:

Yes, that's right, this bridge has a name.  If, like me, you were wondering just who the heck General John Corse was, well, you're not alone.  The TL;DR version:  he was a badass General, Commander of the 6th Iowa Infantry in the Civil War and is especially noted for his stubborn defense during the Battle of Allatoona Pass in 1864.  His money quote: "I am short a cheek-bone and an ear, but am able to whip all hell yet."

I think he deserves a better bridge than this.  We could get crazy:

But there's equally creative precedents right here in Iowa:

That second one is the new bridge in Iowa Falls and it's extremely nice-  really beautiful replacement for the Scenic City.  Or there's something simpler still:

It doesn't have to be glorious and wonderful and a wonder of the world- but a nicer bridge, maybe a bridge that's illuminated somehow now and again would help bring attention to the River which is apparently where we want to go anyway and could be a nice way to highlight the southern end of the Riverfront Crossings District should that ever get seriously underway as the City wants.

I think that quote of his would look especially cool carved into the side of a bridge somehow but at the very least, it deserves a fresh coat of paint on those railings.  It looks like crap and I think if you're going to name something after anyone, you shouldn't be quite so slapdash about it.

This Week In Vexillology #50

Well last week, we checked out the world's only non-quadrilateral flag with Nepal and this week, we're heading over to Europe to check out the oldest tricolor in the world-  so get your orange jerseys on and start learning your soccer chants to the tune of that one aria from Aida because this week, it's The Netherlands!

Kids, buckle up because this isn't going to be your simple, easy and kind of boring tricolor.  Nope, this one is complicated and it all starts and ends with William The Silent, the first Prince of Orange*, who lead a revolt against Spanish rule in the Netherlands that culminated in their Declaration of Independence, the Act of Abjuration of 1581.  Partly out of respect for him, they adopted what was an orange, white and blue tricolor (since he was from the House of Orange-Nassau) but the orange had a tendency to fade to red with time, it was made the official color by the mid-17th century and here's the mind blowing part:  this flag wasn't officially confirmed by Royal Decree until 1937**.  It's first recorded appearance was in 1572 making this by far, the oldest tricolor in the world.

If the history isn't enough for you and you're still thinking 'b-b-b-but Tom, it's a tricolor and they're boooooooring' well, get a load of this:

It's called 'The Prinsengeus' and it's the official naval jack of the Netherlands.

So, kids, put your hands together for The Netherlands and remember, until next time, keep your flags flying.  FREAK or otherwise!

*Crazily enough, William the Silent is also believed to be the first Head of State assassinated by a handgun in world history.

**The Dutch had a Republic for awhile that somehow morphed into a Kingdom.  It's sort of confusing yet really cool at the same time.  Our Founding Fathers were pretty pumped by the Republic part anyway.  The flag was adopted for national and civil usage on February 19th, 1937.

Hail To The R******s?

The latest brouhaha over the Washington Redskins name continues.  Dan Patrick spent a good chunk of his first hour on it this morning, Rick Reilly has had a column supporting the name (in which his father in law was his main source and who has today come out and said he was misquoted), Dan Snyder- the owner of the Washington Redskins published an open letter to the world expressing his pride in the tradition and honor of the name and blah blah blah, etc, etc, etc.

Let's be perfectly clear here:  I am not Native American.  I don't think I know any Native Americans and even if I did, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable going to my newly discovered Native American friend to find out what Native Americans think about any given topic on any given day.  (Because, naturally, as Rick Reilly's column points out- they all know what each other thinks about any given topic on any given day.)  That said, I'm going to going out on a limb here and tentatively say that perhaps things like centuries of oppression, bone-crushing poverty, land rights, mining rights, treaty rights, pretty much any rights you can think of might just matter more to Native Americans than the name of a not-very-good football team.

I get mildly offended by the idea that we should do Native Americans a solid by changing this name because we wouldn't want to offend them.  Really?  Really?  That's going to make up for everything, of course-  you know what offends me?  The fact that so many Native Americans live in bone-crushing, pretty much Third World poverty and this is what America chooses to feel bad about.  The Redskins fans who cry about the P-C police and how great their name is miss the mark quite a bit but they're not wrong:  this is a huge amount of misplaced white guilt- and if we really want to help Native Americans, I think we can do better things than this.  (Like may be giving large amounts of their land back, perhaps?)

But ok, fine, let's say for the sake of argument that we're going to go ahead and have this discussion.  Should the name be changed? 

Well, if you're going to change the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards because of well, murder*, then I don't think there are many compelling arguments to keep the Redskins name.  Unlike the NCAA, whose convoluted double-standard of a policy still annoys me (either they're all offensive or none of them are.  You can't have your cake and eat it too...) the NFL*** could be proactive on this- and while Reilly isn't wrong- there are probably still plenty of sports teams from high school to professional that have antiquated names like this, the fact remains, it's a name that belongs in another century- tradition be damned.

The Onion weighed in with what I consider to be the most likely name change scenario, given Dan Snyder's fierce resistance to the idea- but it was Buzzfeed that came up with something better.  I've seen enough Redskins' games to have seen the obligatory screen shot of the Hoggettes or the Hog Pound or whatever the hell it's called and it's always confused me.  What the hell is the connection to a pig?  But it's a tradition- and one that could be easily spun into a new name for the team.  The Washington Hogs works on multiple levels:  I mean, have you seen that show about feral pigs in Texas?  Those bastards are mean.   Plus, with all the politicians slobbering over Washington's pork barrel buffet on Capitol Hill it works on a satirical level as well.

Problem is, even if you change the name, you don't solve that many problems.  I seem to remember sometime back in the 90s there was controversy over the Atlanta Braves.  And I bet the Cleveland Indians and the Chicago Blackhawks will come under scrutiny as well...  which brings us back to the point I made about the NCAA- it's a good point and it applies here:  either all the names are offensive or none of them are.**   Professional sports should decide, same as the NCAA.

*I wonder how many people in Washington would support bringing back the Bullets if the Redskins changed their name the Wizards?

**This includes Florida State.  Yes, I know they had 'permission' but come on now- you take this much history and culture and reduce it to this?  That sort of depresses me- but what do I know?

***Fuck, I forgot about the Chiefs.  Well, they have it easier.  Just drop the 'I' and I doubt anyone will notice or care.

Shutdown Roulette: The 28th Amendment

OK, now this is just getting ridiculous.  It's been over a week and if there's actual talks going on, they're behind closed doors and far, far away from any media that's able or willing to report on them.  What makes this sort of a yawn inducing subject is the news that 83% of the Federal Government is actually still working and Congress, figuring that it's sort of hard to justify paying themselves and not furloughed Federal workers has agreed to pay said furloughed workers.

So, the majority of the government is still at work, everyone is getting paid, so why exactly can't we come to some sort of agreement on this?   Instead, Park Rangers are forced into being stormtroopers for an Administration that seems hell bent on being as assholic as possible about this-- not to mention the fact that monuments remained open during the last government shutdown and if you show a group of World War II veterans some barbed wire, what do you think they're going to do?  Nazis with machine guns were probably a hell of a lot scarier than the National Park Service ever could be.

But don't worry- there's plenty of my ire left over for GOPers as well...   the pendulum on stories like this seems to swing back and forth a lot but I refer to my point made in part one:  if, as many GOPers are convinced, Obamacare is going to be a trainwreck, then why are you standing in its way?  Every difficulty or technical glitch makes them look bad not you and the longer this shutdown continues the more likely it is that both sides are going to get the blame.  I think it's time to give the people what they supposedly want and just call it a day...  I really don't like playing brinksmanship with the nation's debt ceiling so if you could stop that, I'd appreciate it.

Sigh.  Which brings us back to Obamacare...  do I think it's a bad law?  Meh.  I'm not crazy about it but I also know that health care costs are sky rocketing and not enough people have access to our health care system.  Something had to be done...  what makes me queasy is the blatant act of crass political opportunism on the part of the Democratic Party to force the ACA through.  I can't say that I really blame the Democrats, per say- after all, they saw an opportunity and they ran with it- and I can't honestly say the GOPers wouldn't or haven't done similar things in the past- but we're talking about an incredibly large, complicated part of the American economic system.  To me, that isn't something you rush.  But, you know- hindsight is 20/20, c'est la vie and all that.  What's done is done.  We just have to live with it-  I'd prefer it if members of Congress did as well, if for no other reason that if you inconvenience them, then they're more likely to fix it faster but que sera sera, I guess.

If either side is looking to impress me, however, there is a way to do that.  Pass the 28th Amendment...  which in my head, basically says this:

In the event of a government shutdown, all members of Congress, the President and the Vice-President shall forfeit one year's pay and benefits with no possibility of back pay.  And moreover, if a government shutdown lasts longer than two weeks, new elections for both House and Senate will be triggered six weeks from the day the shutdown enters it second week and all parties must field new candidates for every seat.

Government shutdowns represent a failure of the executive and the legislative branches of our government and the way I've been increasingly thinking about this is that if we're going to continue to live in the age of hyper-partisan idiocy that we do (symptomatic of both sides of the aisle, IMHO, even though both leftys and righties reading this will insist that it's the other guys who are the crazy ones, not them) then we need to hit members of Congress and the Executive where it hurts- by taking away their salaries and benefits for a year.  If that doesn't provide enough motivation for Congress to actually get a deal done, well then, fire everybody and get a new Congress.

Extreme?  Probably.  But lately it seems like politicians seem more concerned about keeping their jobs than fixing the country.  I can think of no better way to motivate them to get shit done than by dangling their jobs in front of them.

Iowa v Michigan State: venite ad paginam aperire fabularum libri duo

I picked up some overtime Friday night into Saturday morning patrolling the Stadium.  It had been awhile since I had done overnights at the Stadium:  Kinnick Stadium the night before game day remains one of my favorite places to be.  It's empty, it's quiet, it's oddly beautiful at 2 AM on a Saturday morning.  You marvel at the emptiness of the place, not quite believing that 60-70,000 people are going to show up once it becomes daylight and watch a football game.

I got home at 6 AM, crashed and awoke just in time for kickoff.   I remained trapped in that odd state where you're not really asleep but neither are you entirely awake either which lent this game a certain air of ethereal unreality- as if the whole thing was like the season of Dallas which turned out to be a dream.   (And given the result, I don't know if I'd be happy or sad to wake up to find Patrick Duffy in my shower.  It would certainly be odd, I know that.)

So we lost.   It's Michigan State though...  of late, these games have been scrappy, hard hitting affairs, trench warfare of the football kind that hearkens back to the glory days of B1G Ten Football- you know, when we actually had ten teams and not twelve.   It's been the kind of football that lends itself to World War One metaphors, a game of attrition, inches and feet instead of yards and points.  And you know what?  I think, secretly, both Ferentz and Dantonio love it.  If there was a way for these two teams to have a game with a score of 3-2, I think they'd both ascend to a higher football plane of nirvana and maybe stay there permanently.

The take away of the day:  venite ad paginam aperire fabularum libri duo- let us open our playbooks to page 2!  While the defense is to be commended for doing solid work all day and yes, the offense did manage to bite them twice to give us a lead at the half, they bottled us up all day.  You could sense the trouble in the first quarter:  while it would have been silly to expect an offensive eruption early in the game, we had to, had to, had to establish that we could move the ball early and often.  We didn't do that.  You know how everyone says that Offensive Coordinator Greg Davis had a seventy five page playbook?   Today was the day to dig into that hardcore.   When you're going up against of the best defenses in the country, running it up the gut just won't do.  You have to surprise them, catch them off guard, show them something we- and they- hopefully haven't seen before.

We were woefully one dimensional on offense and Sparty took full advantage.*   They shut down the run game and then they proved equally as adept as shutting down our passing game as well.  Problem is, the general equation seemed to be that taking some successful shots downfield would loosen them up enough to get us traction on the running game.  We couldn't manage that and remained unable to do much of anything on the offensive side of the ball.   To be fair, we tried going to hurry-up but Sparty did what Sparty does and started taking more dives than an Italian soccer team so that petered out in a hurry.

So now:  a bye-week.   Then (gasp) Ohio State.  Followed by (shudder) Northwestern.   We remain one win away from statistical improvement from last year and two away from Bowl eligibility.  I have to think, given what this team has shown on both sides of the ball thus far, that they have the ability to get to the magical two victories we need- and while this wasn't a do or die, must win kind of game, I think people would be a lot more comfortable had we pulled out a win.  Statistical improvement would be cold comfort to hang your hats on if it means missing a Bowl game by the skin of our teeth but it'd beat the alternative.   I remain convinced we have two victories out there.  We just have go get them- though given our upcoming schedule, it could be a long and spooky October.

*No, I don't want to talk about that fake punt.  I'm glad I didn't see that.

Food Adventures #32: CHICKEN AND WAFFLES, PART 2

Behold, the most meta meal I have ever constructed in my life:  Chicken and Waffle Lays Encrusted Chicken and Waffles.   BOOM!  If your mind just imploded into tiny little pieces, give yourself a minute.  I'll wait.

Are you ready?  Are you sure?  Good, I'll continue.   I enjoyed the Chicken and Waffle flavored Lays when they first came out but there was one teensy problem with them:  you got more waffle/syrup flavor then you did the chicken.   Which got me thinking:  what if you used them to bread chicken and serve that with waffles?  Would that enhance the flavor or detract from the flavor?

As it turned out, it actually added to the flavor of the chicken quite nicely.   Even after baking, the chips retained the sweetness of their original flavor and the recipe I got, whatever magic was contained therein kept the chicken breast nice, moist and cooked just about perfectly.  (The recipe also said to flatten or tenderize the chicken.  Boy a footnote warning potential cooks to pound lightly when it comes to chicken would have been nice.  I about dissolved one chicken breast before I realized my mistake and adjusted accordingly.)

Where this experiment fell down is with the waffles.   It didn't fall down entirely.  Let's just say I was working a deadline (the missus had to leave for her internship at around 6.30) and I was trying to cook with an almost 2 year old roaming about looking for trouble to get into.  So I got my dry ingredients mixed and realized that I had run out of flour (I hadn't:  the Missus had plenty in a series of red pots she had purchased for storing precisely such ingredients.  Only problem is, those red jars/pots are usually tucked away in the corner and I genuinely don't think about them.  Or remember that they're there most of the time.)   So I panicked and added some coconut flour.  I bravely kept going, following the instructions until I realized something else:

I had no butter.  Turns out, no butter is no problem because I had plenty of vegetable oil on hand to use a substitute.  I did that and when I mixed the wet with the dry what I got was more dough and less batter.  Waaaaaaaay to thick...  so what did I do?  I added milk.  Probably too much since most of my waffles turned into a crumbly mess- but I salvaged a few good chunks to use in the meal- and they had a nice taste to them, I'm guessing because of the coconut flour.

Just to add some veg into the mix, I threw some peppers, some onion and some viciously hot peppers from the garden of The Quiet Man into some olive oil and sautéed them up as a garnish/addition to the meal.

My Verdict:  a mind blowing intersection of Chicken and Waffle flavored Lays and chicken and waffles themselves, I'd totally take another run at this-  only this time, I think I'd try and give myself a little more time to see if I can get the waffles right!

This Week In Vexillology #49

BOOM!  That sound you just heard was your mind blowing because This Week In Vexillology, we're looking at the only national flag (don't start, Ohio!) that's not rectangular or square.  That's right, we're heading up high in the Himalayas to Nepal:

Adopted on December 16th, 1962 for national and civil usage, the design is a combination of two separate pennants that had been used for the previous two centuries that became a double pennant in the 19th Century and borrows from a basic design that's been around for more than 2,000 years.


Interesting enough though, there's subtle distinctions between Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge) and my handy-dandy reference guide about what the symbols actually mean.   Reference guide says that the blue border denotes peace, while Wikipedia says: "The blue border symbolizes the peace and harmony that has been prevalent in the country since the age of Gautama Buddha, who was born in Nepal."

Handy-dandy reference guide says that red is the color of the rhododendron, Nepal's national flower, while Wikipedia says: The crimson red is Nepal's national colour, and it indicates the brave spirits of the Nepalese people.  Wikipedia also added:

The two triangles symbolize the Himalaya Mountains and could also represent the two major religions, Hinduism and Buddhism.^[1] The red triangular flag has been a Hindu symbol of victory since the time of Ramayana and Mahabharata. The depiction of celestial bodies represents permanence, the hope that Nepal will last as long as the sun and the moon. The moon symbolizes that the Nepalese are soothing and calm, while the sun symbolizes fierce resolve. The moon also symbolizes the shades and the cool weather of the Himalayas, whereas the sun symbolizes the heat and the high temperature at the lower part (Tarai) of Nepal. Another interpretation: The flag's shape symbolizes a Nepalese pagoda. Putting a mirror at the side of the flag closest to the flagpole will generate an image of a pagoda

The handy-dandy reference guide didn't go into quite as much detail on everything else.   The crescent moon represents the royal house, while the sun represents the Rana family, who were the hereditary Prime Ministers up until 1961.

This is kind of interesting, to be honest and leaves me a little confused on what to believe.  While it seems like (and maybe this is a stretch, maybe it's not) that the Wikipedia entry might just have been written by a person who's from Nepal and very proud of their flag, I can't argue with the interpretation either.   It makes sense and it fits and what the heck, I'm not Nepalese.  What do I know?  What will be interesting to see is if this flag sticks around for the long term-  Nepal is in something of a political transition right now, having abolished its monarchy in 2006 so stay tuned, I guess.  (I wouldn't want to change this flag.  It's unique!)

So ladies and gents, give it up for Nepal- and remember until next time keep your flags flying FREAK or otherwise!

Tom Clancy, 1947-2013

Noted thriller author Tom Clancy died Wednesday at the age of 66 in Baltimore.  Clancy, whose works could reliably double as paperweights and/or doorstops in a pinch was launched to fame with 1984's The Hunt For Red October- which President Reagen dubbed 'a perfect yarn.'   He followed that up with Patriot Games, The Sum of All Fears, Clear and Present Danger- all of which were made into movies, starring his central character Jack Ryan.  I didn't know this but apparently Clancy, along with JK Rowling and John Grisham was one of only three authors to hit a million copies in a first printing in the 1990s.  1989's Clear and Present Danger sold 1,625,544 copies making it (per Wikipedia) the best selling novel of the 1980s.

While I devoured his books, it's also worth noting that he made an impact on the world of gaming as well, with several series of games including Splinter Cell, Ghost Recon and Rainbow Six.  But I think it's Popular Mechanics that does him justice the best, pointing out that Clancy brought military tactics, accuracy and realism to his writing and that level of detail and knowledge has had a huge impact on entertainment and the techno-thriller genre since. (This from Buzzfeed and this from VodkaPundit are also worth reading.)   Things I didn't know about Tom Clancy:  he was part owner of the Baltimore Orioles and tried to buy the Minnesota Vikings at one point, except it turned out he didn't have the money he thought he did.

His writing, however, has had a huge impact on me not only a reader but as a writer as well.  His characters are well drawn and relatable and the man could tell a story like few others.   If he had a fault it was that sometimes, his attention to detail went from the fantastic and well-researched into the level of just plain unnecessary.   There's an infamous chapter in The Sum of All Fears in which he takes about thirty to forty pages to explain on a molecular level exactly how a nuclear weapon blows up.

While his main character, Jack Ryan is probably the one he's most well known for- as the star of most of his books, it's a myriad supporting cast of characters that produced standouts as well.   CIA Agents John Clark and Domingo Chavez were interesting to watch develop and gain back stories of their own over the course of several books- though one of the more remarkable of Clancy's achievements was an ability to keep more plot threads and plot points going than any writer I've read before or since and to do so on a global scale and in the end, all of them got tied up into gripping stories that readers could and did lose themselves in frequently.

While many might dismiss his abilities as a writer, I would argue that would be a mistake.  Without Remorse and The Cardinal of the Kremlin are probably my favorite Clancy books, hands down and the former proves that Clancy could write and write well pushing the boundaries of genre, while the latter just proves what so many readers already know:  Tom Clancy was the man.

In the meantime, I might just have to sit down tonight and watch The Hunt for Red October- or maybe I'll sneak over to the Cigar Parentals place and snag Without Remorse to read again, but either way, a great writer was lost on Wednesday.  He will be missed.

'Green Lantern' --A Review

I think I fell asleep during this movie.  Yes, you read that correctly:  I think I fell asleep.  But I'm not sure- which doesn't exactly say a lot about this comic book clunker starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Tim Robbins and Angela Bassett amongst others.  I had heard that this wasn't the greatest movie ever made but had wanted to see for myself:  I like Ryan Reynolds and really and truly, it's sort of dispiriting to watch DC getting clocked so consistently by Marvel at the box office.  So I figured it couldn't be that bad, could it?

Turns out, it could be.   The opening narration is overly complicated and done by someone who sounds an awful lot like Anthony Hopkins.  (My first thought was 'Hey, it's Odin!') who explains that there's an intergalactic corps of peace keepers known as the Green Lantern Corps who keep peace, etc, etc, throughout the galaxy.  Their greatest enemy was something called Parallax, who fed off of the yellow energy of fear (the green energy being that of will power- keep up already!) but was imprisoned in 'THE LOST SECTOR' on the 'RUINED PLANET RYUT.'

Well, guess what?  Somebody finds 'THE LOST SECTOR' and frees Parallax just by falling into a hole.  (Really good prison there, Green Lantern Corps.  Well done.)  Then, suddenly, its 1993.  We watch young Hal Jordan cheer his test pilot father on as he starts a test flight of an experimental fighter for Ferris Industries.  (There's a Carol Ferris and a Hector Hammond who are Hal's little friends along for the ride as well.)  Of course, Dad dies.  You know Dad is going to die as soon as he gets in the plane and there's an awesome moment where Little Hal sees his Dad getting out of the ruins of his crashed plane, starts to run towards him and then BOOM!  Everything blows up.

Flash forward to the present day and Little Hal has turned into Ryan Reynolds, who is basically playing Van Wilder in a fighter jet.   His fellow test pilot is a woefully miscast Blake Lively.  (No offense to her, I'm sure she's awesome but she's just not believable as a fighter pilot.  Katee Sackhoff, yes.  Michelle Rodriguez, yes.  But not Blake Lively.  It's like Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist all over again.)  They have a dogfight with some drones their company is trying to sell to the government and Van Wilder, I mean Hal Jordan, proves that they can only go so high before stalling.  He then stalls out his own plane and proceeds to have Tom Cruise's meltdown from Top Gun.  I almost expected him to start muttering 'Talk to me Goose' and have Meg Ryan pop up somewhere looking tragic and singing Jerry Lee Lewis songs.

Oh after ALL of that, we get back to Parallax.  Who tracks down the Green Lantern who put him away, injures him but doesn't kill him- he get away and crash lands on Earth.  Where the ring begins its selection process and guess what?  It picks Hal!  So now Hal has a Lantern and a ring and somehow, despite not knowing what the hell the Green Lantern Corps actually is, he says the Oath and gets sucked away in a glowing green ball to the planet Ooa where he meets and trains with the Green Lantern Corps. 

There's other stuff too, but it's just too painful to recall at this point.  Needless to say, I think I woke up at the crucial point in the movie where Van Wilder gets his shit together and knocks Parallax into the sun.  Boom.  Good guys win, bad guys lose, 'twas ever thus.

Overall:  You know what this movie reminded me of?  The Phantom.  You know, Billy Zane in a purple suit, riding around on a horse and there's something involving skulls and rings and other weird shit- that movie was made in 1996 and it feels like Green Lantern would have done quite well in the mid-90s.  Problem is that studios realized quickly that they could only get away with slapdash and crappy scripts and acting for so long with comic book movies before they would start taking hits at the box office and with Green Lantern, it feels like DC hadn't received that memo yet.

Which is a pity because I think Green Lantern deserves better.  There was too much CGI that looked cheap.  You never got the scale of cosmic power given to the Lanterns quite right.  You never really got a sense of Hal growing into the role at all and structurally, the movie was a mess.   Start here, jump there, over here- and I still don't know why I should care about Peter Sarsgaard in this movie.  It's no wonder DC is getting its ass kicked by Marvel and it's no wonder they haven't been willing to put a Wonder Woman movie into production.  I'd be scared too if it ended up like this.   If Marvel pulls off Guardians of the Galaxy (and I think it will) then it's going to make this movie look even worse than it already is.   I'm going to be clearing old some old t-shirts in the coming months, since the Missus tells me I have a surplus of them and I think I'll make room for a Green Lantern t-shirt.  Most people will assume that I'm showing solidarity with Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory but really, I'll be holding out hope that someone can come along and do this character and his story justice because they haven't so far.   My Verdict:  * out of ****.

10 Shows: Some Old, Some New

1. Spaced:  I'll be honest- it took me awhile to get into this show.  I'm a fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and there are plenty of familiar faces from their movies that show up in this, their lamentably short-lived television show.   It's really hard to pin down what this is though.  Is it science fiction?  Is it comedy?  Is it drama?  Or is it the story of a pair of mid-to-late 20s friends trying to figure their lives out?  (I suspect it's a little of everything.)  It was a struggle at the start but by the end, I was sad that I had run out of episodes.

2. The IT Crowd: Love, love, LOVE this show.  It doesn't totally translate into my current job but I can definitely identify with people whose job consists of answering phone calls from idiots/genuinely confused people and as you can expect, there's plenty of comedy gold to be mined here as well.  Remember the cop from Bridesmaids?  Well, he's in this show- and his name is Chris O'Dowd, by the way!  And he's joined by the excellent Richard Ayoade and Katherine Parkinson to deliver an excellent, tightly written sitcom.  I'm on Season 3 and I don't want it to ever end.  Except it just did.  Last week with a special final episode.

3. Borgen:  I had heard good things about this Danish show but didn't actually get around to watching it-  I took a chance and snagged the first season for my birthday and it's about as close to perfect as you can get.   Essentially the Danish version of The West Wing only with parliamentary shenanigans and an unlikely female Prime Minister coming to power, it's taut, tense and probably the best portrayal of politics on television anywhere.  There's a reason why Stephen King named this one of his best shows of 2012.  It's that good. 2 episodes in and I'm in love.

4. Brooklyn Nine Nine:  Early reviews had this pegged as one of the best new comedies of the fall...  the pilot episode had a few good moments but nothing that really made me laugh out loud too much.  (Which is how I usually judge comedies:  if they can get genuine, spontaneous laughs out of me, they get to stay.)   The second episode picks up the funny and I think this could be around for the long haul--  Andy Samberg could be unbearable yet isn't and Andre Braugher is just about perfect as the straight-laced, by the book Captain of the precinct.  I'll keep watching. (Trophy Wife was sort of 'meh.'  Good cast but it's got work to do.   The Goldbergs seemed a lot like one of those nostalgia trips that networks try from time to time but it wasn't awful.)

5. Sleepy Hollow:  I'm curiously intrigued by this show.  It seems a little too nuts for it's own good yet part of the charm seems to be the fact that they seem to know that the idea of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman waking up in the present day is utterly ludicrous and yet they just go with it.  Oh and there's the potential apocalypse and possibly the Devil involved somehow? Seems like a crazy mash-up of The X-Files, National Treasure with a dollop of Twin Peaks weirdness thrown in for good measure.   Will I watch it religiously?  Meh.  Maybe for a few episodes but I'm not sold yet. 

6. Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.:   Well, after the pilot episode, I think we can safely say what my appointment television is going to be from now until this show either goes off the air or gets cancelled.  Agent Coulson played by the wonderful Clark Gregg is back, he's got his own team of agents and they're all about investigating the weird, the wonderful, the super-heroic and it's got all the usual Whedonesque touches that make television shows awesome.  Must keep watching...  must keep watching!

7. The Blacklist: James Spader makes this worth watching just by himself.   A non-cannibal Hannibal Lecter style of uber-villain/master criminal who turns himself in for reasons unknown and partners himself up with a newly minted FBI Profiler (Megan Boone) to catch criminals on something called The Blacklist.  I'm intrigued...

8. The Crazy Ones: Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar as a father-daughter ad executives?  Mork and Buffy?  Hell yes!  Robin Williams does his thing and does it wonderfully and Sarah Michelle Gellar bounces off of him nicely.  This might be heresy to some people but this made me laugh multiple times.   And when it comes to shows about ad executives, it's better than Mad Men at least so far.  I'm sold.

9.  The Michael J. Fox Show: Help, I'm going into sugar shock!  Don't get me wrong:  It's awesome to see Michael J. Fox back on television and I really, really hope that this show succeeds because he's a great actor and entertaining to watch.  The second episode eases up on the treacle and nostalgia and brings the funny a little more...  I'd say this show is off to a promising start.  I'll keep watching.

10. Almost Human:  This doesn't actually premiere until November 4th, but Karl Urban can do wrong in my book.  Have to check this one out, just on the strength of the previews alone.

2,906 Miles Update #8

September was an extremely busy month for us, so I sort of fell off the exercise wagon and if you fall off of something, what do you do?  You pick yourself back up and get right back on it again.  But I think I need to define my Fitness goals a little more precisely going forward, so here goes:

1.  Next spring/summer I want to be in good enough shape to run a 5k.  Preferably, a Color Run somewhere because I think they look like fun.  In that spirit, I need to get off of my ass and start doing Couch to 5k again.  OUTSIDE.  For reals.  No more excuses!

2. When it comes to the 2,906 Mile Challenge I set myself, I seem to have been stuck in Pennsylvania for an eternity now.   According to my calculations, I have 110 miles of it left and I want to be out of PA by the end of the year!

3.  Diet wise, I want to phase out soda and replace it with tea and coffee.   The Missus is tip-toeing toward low carb/no carb territory but I'm not in that headspace yet.  Oh and start limiting my intake of crap food.

As of 9/1/13: 258.77 miles in

Miles Added: 14.15

So we're now 272.92  miles in, which means the map now looks like this:

 

This Week In Vexillology #48

This week, we're hopping on the Orient Express and taking the night train to Istanbul because this week in vexillology, we've got Turkey!

Adopted for national and civil usage on June 5th, 1936, the current flag bears some resemblance to flags that date as early as the 17th Century under the Ottoman Empire.  However, following Turkey's defeat in the First World War when Ataturk deposed the Sultan and declared a Republic, all emblems and symbols were destroyed and the flag became the main symbol of the new Republic.

The star and the crescent are both common symbols of Islam and are always placed slightly towards the hoistof the flag.  One point of the star touches the invisble line that joins the two horns of the crescent moon.   The star has undergone an interesting evolution over the years- first appearing on Ottoman flags as far back as 1793 with eight points before usually having five points by the early 19th Century.  By 1936, it had assumed it's present form and position on the flag.

So put your hands together for Turkey!  And remember, until next time keep your flags flying- FREAK or otherwise!

Food Adventures #31: Crockpot Orange Chicken

I love Chinese food.  Occasionally, you just have to go bananas and order a smorgasbord of delicious Chinese takeout and drink wine and eat crab rangoons until you're so full you can't move and ultimately end up regretting it in the morning because you've eaten so much food, you're still uncomfortable the next day.

Problem is, I have a sneaking suspicion that Chinese food isn't necessarily the healthiest food around which is why I've long been intrigued at the possibility of crockpot orange chicken. A simple Google search lead me over here to a recipe.  It seemed pretty simple, so I got the basic ingredients and gave it a go.   What we started with was this:

I'll be honest, kids- I was a little dubious going into this.  The sauce (which has 3 tablespoons of ketchup) smelled more like ketchup than anything orange.  If you go to the link above to check out the recipe- it didn't end up looking like that, which made me worried that I hadn't browned the chicken long enough.  (I started this in the morning, so it had all day to cook and the recipe says not to cook it all the way because the crockpot will finish it for you.)  But I stuck with it- and good thing to, because this resulted:

No, it didn't look like the picture in the recipe but it smelled like orange chicken and it sure as hell tasted like orange chicken.  Oh, and what's that we had with it?  The Missus cooked up some fried rice:

(She's a big fan of how-to videos on YouTube, so that's where she got her recipe.  A simple YouTube search and you have thousands of options at your fingertips.)  She had made this recipe before and although she forgot the egg this time around and the rice was stickier than it was the first time, it was still amazingly delicious.

My Verdict:  I've snagged a recipe for General Tso's Crockpot Chicken that I might trot out next month- but between the Missus and her fried rice and a couple of trusty crockpot recipes, we're one batch of wontons away from never having to order takeout again.  Unless we feel like it.

Shutdown Roulette

I've been avoiding the news lately.  The farcical clusterfu*kery of the way this administration handled the red line that they themselves drew on Syria was just depressing.  The fact the Russian President Vladimir Putin ran an op-ed in the New York Times to twist the knife in a little more didn't exactly comfort me.  I'm becoming increasingly convinced that no one in Washington has any idea what's actually going on or how to do their damn jobs.   But that's way it's always been and that's the way it's probably going to remain.

So why worry about it, right?  To be honest, The Dan Patrick Show is a far more entertaining and much less heartburn inducing way to start my day.  The snark of Deadspin or the witticisms of Grantland are better uses of my time than Sarah Palin's umpteenth column on how Obamacare is bad, etc, etc, etc.  But the latest round of shutdown roulette has me thinking:  what are the Republicans actually doing?

Let's consider:  they don't like Obamacare.  But neither do a lot of other people out there for reasons both rational and irrational  Employers are cutting hours to avoid the mandates in the bill.   They're rolling back benefit packages.  Young people are getting hosed.  There's a storm of bad news coming and all it seems the House of Representative wants to do is hold bimonthly votes repealing and/or defunding Obamacare.

Why?  I haven't the faintest idea.  It's starting to get irritating really.  I mean, they know that it's not going to go anywhere.  Even if a dozen Democratic senators suffer strokes/head injuries of some kind and actually vote to defund Obamacare, I doubt the President will sign it into law and I doubt even more that both House and Senate can muster the votes for a veto override.  So it's a non-starter.  They know that.  The Democrats know that.  The American people know that.  Small furry woodland creatures living high in the Rocky Mountains know that.  We get it already, you don't like Obamacare.

But shutting down the government?  Eeeeeesh.  I'm not convinced by that.  (And understand that this comes from neither love of GOPers or love of Democrats.  I just like it when people on both sides play smart politics.  This doesn't feel like one of those times though.)  If your opponent is constantly shooting themselves in the foot, why are you asking him to borrow his gun so you can have a turn?  It would be an extreme move.  It would be a risky move.  And it's entirely possible that it would explode right in the faces of the GOPers that think they're being soooooooo clever and standing on principle.  Conservatives all over the interwebbles have been insisting that this is going to be a trainwreck- like we're talking the one in The Fugitive bad.  Assuming they're right, then why try to stop it?  Let it happen.  The Democrats and the President will be left holding the bag just in time for 2014 and the hangover will last all the way to 2016.  That's nothing but good news for the GOPers.

But the danger then becomes, what if they're wrong?  What if it actually starts to work a little bit- the initial roll out pains/bugs get worked out of the system and it starts doing some good?  While I applaud the Republicans for finally introducing their alternative bill, that's something we should have seen in 2010.  Then the American people would have been beneficiaries of an actual debate on health care.  Instead, you're left with the impression that the Republicans seem to think that putting your hands over your ears and going 'na na na nananananana, I can't heaaaaaaaar you' is good public policy.

The alternative could be a sensible one:  make it better.  Work with the President and the Democrats and present revisions and endless repeals and defunding.  Decentralize any power in the bill away from Washington.  Make sure it empowers individual people to make choices that work for them.  Make sure employers don't screw over their employees in a hasty attempt to conform to endless minutia and regulations.  Strip out all the pork and backdoor sweetheart deals and actually find out what's in the damn bill and make sure it doesn't suck out loud anymore.   That would be good public policy...

That has a snowball's chance in hell of actually happening.   So it will be interesting, as the Republican Party stares down the President, revolver in hand, barrel whirling away as they ready themselves for the next round of shutdown roulette.  Problem is, if you play roulette too many times, sooner or later, you get the chamber with the bullet inside.

Iowa v Western Michigan: et spes est in aere tenui odor

It was a long, slow day Saturday.  I picked up some overtime at work and spent the game working the cameras at Kinnick but with only four arrests, I wasn't really kept all that busy and as a result actually managed to view a decent portion of the game itself- with better much better picture quality and zoom features than any of you could possibly imagine.  But, to brass tacks:

First of all, 59-3!  Let's say that again and savor the taste of those numbers as they roll off of the tongue.  59-3.   Granted, it comes against a woeful Western Michigan team which takes the shine off of the decimation just a bit but it's been a long time since we've managed to put up numbers like that against anyone.  In fact, the last time we came that close was a 62-10 beatdown of Northwestern in 2002 and given the fact our record against Western Michigan under Ferentz was an equally woeful 0-2, I'll take the beatdown.  It was a pleasant surprise.

Second of all, Kevonte Martin-Manley.   Question:  when was the last time you can recall an Iowa player running anything back for a touchdown?  Especially punts.  Go on, I'll give you a minute to think about it...  yeah, that's what I said as well. 2 in one game is just insane...  in fact, Martin-Manley was the first B1G this century to do it- he's the third to do it overall and the first since 1983.  30 years ago.  But wait, it gets better:  with 183 yards in punt returns, Martin-Manley got a sniff at the school record for punt returns set in a single game, 201 yards set by the man himself, Nile Kinnick way back in 1939.

Third of all, back-ups!  Our back-ups got some playing time including our back up QB Beathard who wasn't all that bad either.  I doubt we'll get many more chances to get them involved in games so it was nice and sensible to see that happen- along with some good, solid practice at refining our passing game a little bit before heading into B1G play next week against Minnesota.

So, we're 3-1 heading into conference play.   Not bad.  Not bad at all though I'll take this with a large grain of salt.  After all, Northern Illinois is genuinely good.   Missouri State and Western Michigan not so much and I'm not sure what kind of year Iowa State is going to have but it's probably not going to be a good one.  There remains a large possibility that this could be the high point of our season.  It could be all downhill from here and we could just go tits up and wander into mediocrity like we did last year.  There will be rending of garments, tearing of hair and fists will be shaken at Ferentz and Gary Barta for mortgaging the kidnies of the Athletic Department with that insane buyout clause.

And yet...  conference play looks a lot less scary than it did at the start of the season.   Our defense is playing on a high level.  Our O-line looks solid.  Rudock looks solid and has a chance to be very effective at quarterback for us.  Things are trending in the right direction, I think and it's been awhile since anyone's been able to definitively say that.

The Legends Division looks interesting now.  Maybe even manageable. Minnesota is trending upwards but still rebuilding.  Nebraska is having all kinds of defensive issues.  Michigan State seems to have caught a bad case of our offensive troubles from last year.  Even Michigan looks mortal- UCONN and Akron gave them fits even though they came away with wins both times.   The only team that looks doubtful is Northwestern but we get them at home this year.

The rest of our schedule?  I think we have genuine shots to get wins against Minnesota, Michigan State and Purdue. Wisconsin, Michigan and Nebraska could be tough- the latter far more than the former as we have to play them in Lincoln this year but we could beat at least one, maybe two out of that trio.   Northwestern and Ohio State will be insanely tough indeed and while I'll hold out hope for a miracle, I think we can file both of those teams under 'miracle' and call it could.

Like I said though, there's an equally large chance everything could go south on us and disaster could ensue, but right now, for the first time in a long time, et spes est in aere tenui odor:  the faint smell of hope is in the air.

Food Adventures #30: PB and J Popcorn

Tip of the hat to Buzzfeed for including this recipe on a 30 Awesome Things You Can Cook In September list or something like that- though the actual recipe comes from Something Swanky over here.   I liked this idea immediately:  after all, you're taking popcorn and elevating to something other than plain old popcorn and you're doing so without pour half a gallon of butter and salt on top of it.  (Though I appreciate some of the 'flavored seasonings' like the ranch or cheese dust or whatever, it's essentially, flavored salt.  Though delicious, delicious flavored salt.   And don't even get me started on caramel corn.)

Anyway:  I had peanut butter, I had jelly and I snagged some popcorn and away we went.  This resulted:

And you know what?  It's pretty damn good.   The Missus even suggested making this into popcorn balls come Christmas time and I agree with her but with one, tiny, revision:  I grabbed the first white chocolate chips I saw and they happened to have vanilla flavoring onboard.   None of it tasted bad but the vanilla in the chips pushed the PB and J to the background a little bit, so be aware of that when you make this stuff.  (The recipe also calls for Welch's All Natural Grape Jelly.  I just used whatever was in our squeeze bottle in the fridge.   The All Natural Stuff, could, I suppose, have a stronger grape flavor but really, is it worth the extra two bucks or so they probably tack on to the price just so they can call it 'All Natural?'  Probably not.

My Verdict:  If you're tired of plain old popcorn and want something nice, easy and simple to jazz it up with- try this.  Took me less than half an hour total, if that.